Jokes ..to bring little smile.

Boy: after our marriage..u promise me dat u wont ask for separate house for your own..

Girl: No dear, I am not like dat kinda gal..u can shift ur Mom to some other house..



"Rishta wahi..Soch nayi"



==================***********=============================



Girl to her BF: Is week movie dekhenge..

nxt week shopping karenge..



BF: Uske nxt week mai mandir jayunga...

GF: woh kyu?

BF: Bheek mangne...



==================***********=============================



A Woman was kidnapped ..

the kidnapper sent a piece of her finger to her Husband and demanded money.

Husband replied : " I want more proof..MUNDI bhejo MUNDI "



==================***********=============================



Marwadi donates blood to an Arab, Arab gifts him a Ferrari.



Marwadi again donates him blood, but this time he gives him only 1 rupee.



Marwadi - Yeh kya hai?



Arab- Ab meri ragome tera khoon daud raha hai. :)))



==================***********=============================



Husband : Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it. So I bought 3 movie tickets.

Wife : Why Three?

Husband : For you and your parents



==================***********=============================



A Man gifted his wife a diamond necklace for their anniversary & his wife did not speak to him for 3 months!



Was the necklace fake?



No,that was the Deal.



==================***********=============================



Sharabi-AAJ Tab tak piyenge

jab tak woh saamne wale 3

ped 6 nahi

dikhte

pub manager-saalon bas karo

saamne pehle se hi 1 ped hai



==================***********=============================



dulha on marriage to dulhan"shadi se pahle tera koi boyfrnd tha kya?"

dulhan silent

dulha"is khamoshi ko main kya samzu?"

dulhan"Abe gin to lene de...."



==================***********=============================

Perfect Husband

Several men are in the changing room of a golf club. A mobile phone on a bench rings and a man engages the hands free speaker-function and began to talk.

Everyone else in the room stops to listen.

MAN: ‘Hello

WOMAN: ‘Darling, it’s me. Are you at the club?

MAN: ‘Yes

WOMAN: ‘I am at the shopping centre and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000. Is it OK if I buy it?

MAN: ‘Sure ¦go ahead if you like it that much.

WOMAN: ‘I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2008 models. I saw one I really liked.

MAN: ‘How much?

WOMAN: ‘$70,000?

MAN: ‘OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.

WOMAN: ‘Great! Oh, and one more thing ¦ The house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $950,000?

MAN: ‘Well, then go ahead and give them an offer of $900,000. They will probably take it. If not, we can go the extra $50 thousand. It really is a pretty good price.

WOMAN: ‘OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!!

MAN: ‘Bye! I love you, too.

The man hangs up. The other men in the changing room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths wide open ¦..

He smiles and asks, ‘Anyone knows who this phone belongs to?

Jokes on physics

Physics would have been much much Easier...


If..

If..

If..

If..

The Tree itself had Fallen On Newton's Head Instead of the Apple..!!

************************************************** ***************

How Newton Died ?



.

.

He died After seen South Indian Movies..



.

Coz He Couldnt Bear Rajnikant Breakin All The Law Of Physics which He

Made...

************************************************** **************



WHICH IS THE MOST DANGEROUS ALPHABET OF ALL?



" W "!!



B'COZ ALL WORIES START WITH "W"



WHO?

WHY?

WHAT?

WHEN?

WHICH?

WHOM?

WHERE?

WAR!

AND FINALLY



WIFE....!



************************************************** **************

Moral of the movie ROBOT-

.

...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

A girl can not only spoil a man but even machines-!:-o



************************************************** ***



newton's law:

lecturing is d phenomenon of transferin the info 4m d notes of lecturer to

the students notes without passing throu'd brain of either



************************************************** **************

Gals Language:

Stupid(U r Smart)

Idiot(U r Cute)

Shut up(I Luv u)

I'll kill u(I'll die 4 u)

GN(All slept u can cal me nw)

Fwd 2 gals to laugh & boys 2 undrstnd



************************************************** **************



When Alchohol is consumed,

Whatever is in the mind comes out...





So I suggest all students to drink before writing da exams.



************************************************** **************

You know a

Crazy fact of todays generation

:Once upon a time, GIRLS used to cook like their mothers.

But now they drink like their Fathers...!!!



************************************************** **************

what is swarg?

american salary,

british house,

chinese food,

indian wife,

what is narak?

american wife,

british food,

chinese house,

indian salary



************************************************** **************



A Sign At A Petrol pump ...





"Plz ... Don't Smoke Here ... Your Life May Be Worthless,

But

Petrol Certainly Isn't...!"



************************************************** **************

The real problem does not start when a boy starts looking at girl.

It begins when she turn back and gives a smile.



************************************************** **************



If u r with 1 girl its Anand...

If u r with 2 girls its Mahanand...

If u r with 3 girls its Parmanand but

If u r with many girls then u must b Swami Nityanand.



************************************************** **************



Earlier

Luv Startd wid Eyes

Grew wid Gifts

Ended wid Tears





Now: Luv Starts frm Cellphone

Grows wid Msgs

&

Ends wid "UpbhogtaKisi aur Call par Vyast hai.”



************************************************** **************

When u read a love message,

U never think of the person who sent u the sms..

But u think of the person whom u love the most!!

STRANGE..



sala kharcha kiska

or

Charcha kiska!



************************************************** **************



The Trouble With The World Is That, The Stupids Are Full Of Confidence And

The Intelligents Are Full Of Doubts



************************************************** *****************

A student grabbed a coin,



Flipped it in the air & said,

“Head, I go to sleep.”



Tail, I watch a movie.



If it stands on the edge I’ll study.

balayya's kotha cheddi-- sms joke

balayya kotha red cheddi konnadu , anadham thattukoleka oorantha lungi yethi mari chupinchadu ,intki vachi chusthe


cheddi intlone undhiii....!

follow more balayya jokes Balayya Jokes

balakrishna studies....

Galileo used lamp 2 study

Graham Bell used candle 2 study

Do you know what Balayya used to complete his studies.....


It is 'Ambica Agarbatti'.....

love more balayya jokess... click here balakrishna jokes

Mahindra satyam testing walkin

java recuritment in mahindra satyam- walkin

referal id : 53997

Techmahindra freshers ..bsc,bca

OFFCAMPUS 2009 & 2010

Dear All,



We are initiating Off Campus recruitment of B.Sc. (CS, IT, Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics, Statistics, Electronic, Electrical) / BCA / BCS graduates of 2009 and 2010.



We look forward to your support in recommending suitable candidates as per details given here under.



Eligibility Criterion

Candidates should have graduated in the year 2009 and 2010 with a consistent academic performance of Minimum 60 % & above at X, XII & Graduation (relax able to 55% & above at any one of the levels).



Only 1 year gap is allowed in between courses.



Graduation should be completed within the stipulated time allocated by respective University. Any gap during the course will not be considered.



Courses

1. BSC

Computer Science

Physics, Chemistry, Mathematics

Statistics

Information Technology

Electronics

Electrical



2. BCA



3. BCS



Compensation

Selected Candidates will be offered salary of Rs.1.44L pa. They will be put through initial training of 3 months and will be confirmed only after successful completion of the training. They will be required to sign a bond of Rs.1 Lakh for 2 years on joining.



Please note that we will not be considering any other discipline or pass outs from any other batch apart from the ones mentioned above.



Selection Process



· CVs are to be forwarded to bscfresher@techmahindra.com or bscfreshers@techmahindra.com

· Please send the CV’s with the spread sheet format attached. Incomplete entries & resumes sent directly to recruitment team or any one else will not be considered.

· Last date for receiving the resume is COB (6pm IST) –31st Dec 2010. CV’s will be shortlisted based on the criterion & intimation will be forwarded to candidates directly at least 1 week in advance, to appear for Aptitude tests / Interviews

· Candidates will be called to join from a merit list which will be prepared based on Academic, Aptitude Test & Interview performance of candidates. Communication to this effect will be sent to candidates by e-mail directly.

· Those offered will be required to join within 1 – 2 weeks of selection at Pune and Noida for training & subsequent posting. Not joining on given date and location will be considered as rejection.

· No queries with members of the Recruitment team regarding any of the referred case(s) during the selection process will be entertained.

· Candidates need to carry following documents (original + photocopy) at the time of test / interview.

· There will be not reward against this referral.



Mandatory Documents required to be carried by candidate for test / interview

A. Hard copy of Resume

B. Originals & Photocopies of Mark sheets and Certificates of 10th and 12th Std.

C. Photocopies of Mark Sheets (all semesters) and Degree certificate(s) of Graduation applicable

D. Photocopy of Passport or acknowledgement copy of Passport application

E. 3 Photographs


excel sheet in below format

1 Name of Candidate Email-ID Contact No. Preferred Interview Location 10th % 12th % Graduation Grad Stream Grad % Grad University/ college Name


2

3 Values have to be entered exactly below the headings in the 2nd Row ONLY

4 Name should be Candidate's Name

5 Email ID is Candidate's Email ID

6 Phone No of the Candidate to be referred

7 Preferred Location has to be selected from the list

8 Graduation will be the name of the degree;

9 Percentage for the same also has to be entered in Grad %

10 DO NOT MAKE ANY CHANGES TO FORMAT OF XL, ELSE SYSTEM WILL REJECT APPLICATION

balayaa ...rocks

1) After Tollywood T20match.






jr.Ntr: Enduku babai umpire ni kottavu...?


Balaya: Nenu bowling chestunnapudu vadu nannu "OVER AINDI" ani Thittadura anduke kottanu ra .....!










2) jr.Ntr: Babai Naku recharge chepinchu naa mobile lo Balance ledu.


Balayya: Enduku ra na dantlo full Balance undi nee Bluetooth on chesuko nenu Pampisthanu..










3) jr.Ntr:Babai eddo kotha college kaduthunavanta...?


College name enti Babay..?


Bal Krishna: " BALAYYA MEDICAL COLLEGE OF ENGIEERING"










4) jr.Ntr: Enti babay chair kothaga undi eppdu konnavu...?


Balaya: Ninna Audio function ki vellmu " TAKE YOUR SEAT" annaru ra...










5) Nurse: Congrats sir me intlo mahalakshmilanti kuthuru putindi ...


Balaya: Are yem technology, wife hospital lo unite Kuthuru intlo ela putindi..........????










6) jr.Ntr: IIT ki Opposite word enti babay...?


Balaya:U U coffee ra.......










7) jr Ntr: Babai nuvu evari kanna i Love you ani cheppava...?


Balaya: cheppanu Kani i 2 love you antundi ra aa rendo vadevado ardham kavatam ledu...










8) jr Ntr: Babai water nundi current enduku teetharu...?


Balaya: Aala tiyakapothe manamu snanam chesetapudu shock kodatadi kadara...






9)Balaya: Arey nee mobile lo time 11pm ani pettuko ra..


Ntr: Enduku Babai...?


Balaya: Naku night balance undi ra phone chestanu..






10) Balaya & Ntr walking on d road.They saw 1000rs note on d road.


Ntr: babai manam fifty fifty teesukundam..?


Balaya: mari migilina 900 em cheddam ra..


Last but not the least......






Ultimate one J






Sir: Nuvvu emi avvalanukuntunnavu ra??


Student : Nenu MBBS chadivi, Police ayyi,


manchi soft ware company lo, lawer ga work chesi pedda pedda building lu kattukuntu collector ga job cheddamanukuntunnna sir


Sir: Rey nijam cheppu nuvvu nuvvu nuvvu BALAKRISHNA Kodukivi kada leaka fan kada...?


:-) :-) :-) :-) :-)


I wish the smile to be continued for ever on ur face.

mahindra satyam recruitment for java,sql,oracle

Referal Id: 53997