Showing posts with label woman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label woman. Show all posts

Sunday, September 13, 2009

If women controlled the world......






IF WOMEN CONTROLLED THE WORLD...

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Thursday, July 31, 2008

Smart woman

Barbara Walters of Television's ABC 20/20 did a story on gender roles in Kabul,
Afghanistan, several yearsbefore the Afghan conflict. She noted that women
customarily walked 5 paces behind their husbands.

She recently returned to Kabul and observed that women still walk behind their
husbands. From Ms. Walter's vantage point, despite the overthrow of the
oppressive Taliban regime, the women now seem to walk even further back behind
their husbands and are happy to maintain the old custom.

Ms. Walters approached one of the Afghani women and asked, "Why do you now seem
happy with the old custom that you once tried so desperately to change?"

The woman looked Ms. Walters straight in the eyes,and without hesitation said,
"Land mines."

Friday, June 13, 2008

Result oriented man

Doc, you've gotta help me! My wife just isn't interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?"

"Look, I can't prescribe..."

"Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you ever seen me this upset? I'm desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate; my life is going utterly to hell! You've got to help me."

The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle of pills. "Ordinarily, I wouldn't do this. These are experimental; the tests so far indicate that they're VERY powerful. Don't give her more than ONE, understand? Just ONE."

"I don't know, doc. She's awfully cold."

"One. No more. In her coffee. Okay?"

"Um... okay."

He thanks the doc and heads for home where his wife has dinner waiting. When dinner is finished, she goes to the kitchen to bring dessert. In fumbling haste, pulls the pills from his pocket and drops one into his wife's coffee. He thinks for a moment, hesitates, then drops in a second pill. And then he begins to worry. The doctor did say they were powerful.

Then an inspiration strikes... he drops one pill into his own coffee. His wife returns and they enjoy their dessert and coffee. Sure enough, a few minutes after they finish, his wife shudders a little, sighs deeply and heavily, and a strange look enters her eyes. In a near-whisper and in a tone of voice he has never heard her use before, she says, "I need a man..."

His eyes glitter, and his hands tremble as he replies, "Me too

Thursday, June 5, 2008

Helping man

A man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and
said, "Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you—we've looked at your life, and you really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?"

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, "Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of bikers. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the bikers. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the
woman or they would have to deal with me!"

"I'm impressed," St. Peter responded. "When did this happen?"

"About two minutes ago," came the reply.

Lost wife

The man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I have lost my wife here in this supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" the woman asked.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."