Showing posts with label lady. Show all posts
Showing posts with label lady. Show all posts

Saturday, July 26, 2008

lady and casino dealers

Two bored casino dealers are waiting at a craps table. A very attractive blonde lady comes in and wants to bet twenty thousand dollars on a single roll of the dice. She says, "I hope you don't mind, but I feel much luckier when I'm completely nude." With that she strips naked from her neck down, and rolls the dice while yelling, "Mom needs new clothes!" Then she hollers..."YES! YES! I WON! IWON!"

Then she begins jumping up and down and hugging each of the dealers.

With that she picks up her money and clothes and quickly leaves. The dealer's just stare at each other dumbfounded.
Finally one of them asks, "What did she roll anyway?" The other answers, "I thought YOU were watching!"

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Educated lady


Never Argue with a Woman One morning, the husband returns the boat to their lakeside cottage after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, puts her feet up, and begins to read her book. The peace and solitude are magnificent. Along comes a Fish and Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, 'Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?' 'Reading a book' she replies, (thinking, Isn't that obvious?') 'You're in a Restricted Fishing Area,' he informs her. 'I'm
sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading.' 'Yes, but I see you
have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up.' 'If you do that,
I'll have to charge you with sexual assault,' says the woman. 'But I haven't even touched you,' says the Game Warden. 'That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment.' 'Have a nice day ma'am,' and he
left. MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

Saturday, May 10, 2008

Time for sex

Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why ?
Dr: The compounder will not be here...

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Night rate

Chemistry ki class main Teacher nay aik ladki say poocha,
'' What is Niterate?''
Ladki sharma kar
''Sir Night Rate 1500 aur Hotel charges alag say........

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Cheerleaders in IPL











Images of Cheerleaders from different matches and portals

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Old lady and Cop

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...



Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?



Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.



Older Woman: Oh, I see.



Officer: Can I see your license please?



Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.



Officer: Don't have one?



Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.



Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.



Older Woman: I can't do that.



Officer: Why not?



Older Woman: I stole this car.



Officer: Stole it?



Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.



Officer: You what?



Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and

slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer

slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.



Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.



Older woman: Is there a problem sir?



Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.



Older Woman: Murdered the owner?



Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.



The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.



Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?



Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.



Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license



The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the

license. He looks quite puzzled.



Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that

you murdered and hacked up the owner.



Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too, didn't he?....



Don't Mess With Old Ladies (or ANY LADY)!!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Beggar and woman

Faqir, "Bahenji... Bhokha hoon.. Allah ke waste khana de do."

Lady, "Abhi khana nahi bana, baad main aana."

Faqir, "Mera number le lo, jab khana ban jaye to missed call kar dena"

Tuesday, March 25, 2008

Pregnant lady

This is from an actual trial in the UK : A young woman who was

several months pregnant boarded a bus.

When She Noticed a young man smiling at her she began feeling

humiliated on Account of her condition.

She changed her seat and he seemed more amused.

She moved again and then on her third move he burst out

laughing.... ......... ......She had him arrested.

Then the case came before the court, the young man was asked

why he acted in such a manner.


His reply was: When the lady boarded the bus I couldn't help

noticing she was pregnant..

She sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Coming Soon: The

Gold Dust Twins'.

I was even more amused when she sat under a shaving

advertisement, which read: 'William's Stick Did The Trick'.

Then I could not control myself any longer when on the third

move she sat under an advertisement, which read: 'Dunlop Rubber

would have prevented this accident.'

The case was dismissed... ......! !!!!!!!