Showing posts with label speak. Show all posts
Showing posts with label speak. Show all posts

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Managment lesson - Manager Should talk first

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are
on their way to a meeting. On their way through a
park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the
lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally,
one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I
will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager
shouted, I want the first wish. I want to
be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.
"Pfufffff, and he was gone. Now the junior manager
could not keep quiet and shouted " I
want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of
food and cocktails. "Pfufffff, and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said,"I want these two idiots back in
the office after lunch"

Lesson V- "Always allow the bosses to speak first."



More managment lessons

Managment Lesson ..Speak carefully

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an
British and a French, who found this small genie
bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the
bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming
pools, I will give each of you
a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you
shout what you want the pool of water to become, then
your wish will come true." The French wanted to start.
He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE".

The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The
Frenchman was so happy
swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the
Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted," VODKA"
and immersed himself into a pool of
vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is
the British. He was running
towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana
peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
SHIT!!!!!!!........."
Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something,
because sometimes what you say accidentally does
happen.


 More Managment lessons

Saturday, July 26, 2008

Think before you speak

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly,
"How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?"
I turned around and walked back out and never went back
My husband didn't say a word... he knew better.

SECOND TESTIMONY:
I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls.
I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using.
After browsing for several minutes, I was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen who works at the store.
He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I like playing with mens balls"

THIRD TESTIMONY:
My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a store that sold a variety of candy and nuts.
As we were looking at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically.
The boy grinned, and I turned beet-red and walked away.
To this day, my sister has never let me forget.

FOURTH TESTIMONY:
While in line at the bank one afternoon, my toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran amok.
I was finally able to grab hold of her after receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other patrons.
I told her that if she did not start behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in a voice just as threatening,
"If you don't let me go right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening exchange.
Even the tellers stopped what they were doing.
I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked out of the bank with my daughter in tow.
The last thing I heard when the door closed behind me, were screams of laughter.

FIFTH TESTIMONY:
Have you ever asked your child a question too many times?
My three-year-old son had a lot of problems with potty training and I was on him constantly.
One day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch, in between errands
It was very busy, with a full dining room.
While enjoying my taco, I smelled something funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old daughter, she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty in a while.
I asked him if he needed to go, and he said "No".
I kept thinking "Oh Lord, that child has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with me."
Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have an accident?"
"No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because the smell was getting worse.
Soooooo, I asked one more time, "Danny did you have an accident ? This time he jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over, spread his cheeks and yelled
"SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better, thanking me for the best laugh they'd ever had!

LAST BUT NOT LEAST TESTIMONY:
This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for 2 days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will, in the future, likely think before she speaks.
What happens when you predict snow but don't get any!
We had a female news anchor that, the day after it was supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman and asked:
"So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set,
but half the crew did too they were laughing so hard!