Showing posts with label honeymoon. Show all posts
Showing posts with label honeymoon. Show all posts

Friday, April 18, 2008

Mom and daughters ..honeymoon

A mother had 3 virgin daughters and they were all getting married within a short
period of time.

Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started. She made them
all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with few words on how
marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said
nothing but "Nescafe":
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe
jar.
It said. "Good till the last drop". Mom blushed, but was pleased for her
daughter.


The second daughter sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the
card read: "Benson & Hedges".
Mom now knew to go straight to her husbands cigarettes, and she read from the
Benson & Hedges pack:
"Extra long king-size" She was slightly embarrassed but still happy for her
daughter.


The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week,
nothing, Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a
card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words, "British Airways".
Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine flipped through the pages
fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for BA.
The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

Mom fainted

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Knotted rope

One day a young cowboy and cowgirl decided to get married. After the wedding, they left for their honeymoon. While driving down the road, the new bride sees two cows having sex.
The new bride asks with a sly grin, "What are they doing honey?"
The husband answers, "They`re roping!"
She replies, "Oh, I see!" while trying to hide her knowing expression.
After a few more hours of driving, they pass two horses having sex.
Again the bride asks, "What are they doing honey?"
The husband answers, "They`re roping!"
She replies, "Oh, I see!"
Finally they arrive at their hotel. The couple washed up and started to get ready for bed. When they got in the bed, they started to explore each others` bodies. The bride discovers her husband`s privates.
"What is that?" she asks.
"That`s my rope," he answers.
She slides her hands down further and gasps, "What are those?" she asks.
"They`re my knots," he answers.
Finally the couple begins to make love. After several minutes, the bride says, "Stop honey, wait a minute!
Her husband asks, "What`s the matter honey, am I hurting you?"
"No," the bride replies, "undo those knots, I need more rope.