Showing posts with label teacher. Show all posts
Showing posts with label teacher. Show all posts

Friday, March 11, 2016

Hameed and his teacher

A small boy named Hameed lived in a village in Morocco. None of his classmates liked him because of his stupidity, especially his teacher, who was always yelling at him "You are driving me crazy Hameed!!!!!"


One day hameed's mother came into school to check on how he was doing. The teacher told his mother honestly, that her son is simply a disaster, getting very low marks and even she had never seen such a dumb boy in her entire teaching career!!!! The mother was shocked at the feedback and withdrew her son from the school & even moved to another town!!!!!




25 years later, the teacher was diagnosed with an incurable cardio disease! All the doctors strongly advised her to have an open heart operation, which only one surgeon could perform.......




Left with no other options, the teacher decided to have the operation, which was successful...... When she opened her eyes after the surgery she saw a handsome doctor smiling down at her! She wanted to thank him, but could not talk. Her face started to turn blue, she raised her hand, trying to tell him something but eventually died!


The doctor was shocked and was trying to work out what went wrong, when he turned around he saw our friend Hameed, working as a cleaner in the clinic, who had unplugged the oxygen equipment to connect his Mobile Charger !!!!!






Don't tell me you thought that Hameed became a doctor???? :D :D

Good Day..Have a great Week ahead :) collapse


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Thursday, June 5, 2008

Good manners

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good
manners,
asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"

Sherman said: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll
be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom
at
the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us
your
good manners?"

Johnny said "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a
moment?
I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to
introduce to you after dinner."

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Is BUS..........male or female?

Is BUS..........male or female?

There is a classroom of some small children (5-7yrs),

with a genius boy (Bablu) and a smart one (Pappu ).The

dialogue between the two and the teacher goes

something like this:

Bablu: "Teacher, teacher! Is Bus male or female?

Teacher : Thinking.......

Pappu: "Teacher, teacher! It is female"

Bablu : "Kyon?"

Pappu: "Kyon ki sab log uspe chadte hain."

Teacher is pareshan. While Bablu gets in doubt.

Bablu: "Agar bus female hai aur sab uspe chadte hain

to uske bacche kyon nahin hote?"

Teacher is more pareshan.

Pappu : "Kyon ki sab us par peeche se chadte hain."

Teacher is now hiding her face.Bablu gets another

doubt.

Bablu: "Maana sabhi peeche se chadte hain, but driver

aur conductor to aagay se chadte hain. Phir bachche

kyon nahin hote?"

Teacher is sweating as it is getting too much to

handle.

Pappu replies: "Kyon ki woh dono topi pehanke chadte

hain."

Teacher faints !!!!!!!

Friday, May 9, 2008

Unlock the deadlock

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
So make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: This week I am
spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this
week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement
.

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Night rate

Chemistry ki class main Teacher nay aik ladki say poocha,
'' What is Niterate?''
Ladki sharma kar
''Sir Night Rate 1500 aur Hotel charges alag say........

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Smart answer 6

A teacher at a TAFE college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.'Now
listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being heretomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,illness, or a death
in your immediate family, but that's it, no otherexcuses whatsoever!'A
smart-arse at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What wouldhappen
if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexualexhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student,shook her head and sweetly
said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write theexam with your other hand.

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Apple

A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, "If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"Within a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!"

The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed. "Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought. She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"

Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. But within him he was also searching for the answer that will make the teacher happy. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four…"

The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, "If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?"

Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?"

The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. She wanted to congratulate herself. But one last thing remained. Once again she asked him, "Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?"

Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!"

The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.

In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag."

"When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect don't think they are wrong. There may be an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with your mind already made up."

Friday, April 18, 2008

little john and teacher

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot
one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly away with they first
gun shot"
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then, Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women
sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the
triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the
cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one that's
gobbled down the top and sucked the cone"
To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding
ring on, but I like your thinking.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Java

Teacher asks a Kid: What r the 2 latest versions of java??

kid says.....
.
.
Marjava & Lutjava!!
Ishq me dil kya jaan b tere kar java o java. java