Saturday, November 21, 2009

A delightful story

A delightful story about a young man who applied for a job as a telegraph operator. He answered an advertisement in the newspaper and went to the telegraph office to await an interviewer. Though he knew Morse code and he was qualified in every other way seven other applicants were also waiting in the large noisy office. He saw customers coming and going and heard a telegraph clacking away in the background. He also noticed a sign on the receptionist's counter instructing applicants to fill out a form and wait to be summoned to an inner office for an interview. He filled the form and sat down to wait.

After a few minutes, the young man stood up, crossed the room to the door of the inner office and walked right in. Naturally the other applicants perked up. Wondering why he had been so bold. They talked among themselves and finally determined that since nobody had been summoned to interview yet, the man would likely be reprimanded for not following instructions and possibly disqualified for the job.

Within a few minutes, however the man emerged from the inner office escorted by the interviewer who announced to the other applicants "Thank you all very much for coming, but the job has been filled". They were all confused and one man spoke up
"wait a minute - I did not understand. We have been waiting longer than he and we never even got a chance to be interviewed". The employer responded "All this while you"ve been sitting here, the telegraph has been ticking out the following message- 'If you understand this, then come right in, the job is yours'. So you see, all of you were summoned but he heard and understood. "

This man knew a valuable life-reason that most people miss. Wherever you are, be there. You are there physically, be there emotionally. Be there mentally. Be there attentively. Be there as fully as you can. Wherever you are, be there; when you are completely present, you will make the most of every minute. And minutes lived fully add up to a life lived magnificently.

Self Confidence

A business executive was deep in debt and could see no way out. Creditors were closing in on him. Suppliers were demanding payment.
He sat on the park bench, head in hands, wondering if anything could save his company from bankruptcy.
Suddenly an old man appeared before him.
"I can see that something is troubling you," he said. After listening to the executive's woes, the old man said, "I believe I can help you." He asked the man his name, wrote out a cheque, and pushed it into his hand saying, "Take this money. Meet me here exactly one year from today, and you can pay me back at that time." Then he turned and disappeared as quickly as he had come.
The business executive saw in his hand a check for $500,000, signed by John D. Rockefeller, then one of the richest men in the world!
"I can erase my money worries in an instant!" he realized. But instead, the executive decided to put the un-cashed check in his safe. Just knowing it was there might give him the strength to work out a way to save his business, he thought.
With renewed optimism, he negotiated better deals and extended terms of payment. He closed several big sales. Within a few months, he was out of debt and making money once again. Exactly one year later, he returned to the park with the un-cashed check. At the agreed-upon time, the old man appeared. But just as the executive was about to hand back the check and share his success story, a nurse came running up and grabbed the old man. "I'm so glad I caught him!" she cried. "I hope he hasn't been bothering you. He's always escaping from the rest home and telling people he's John D. Rockefeller. "
And she led the old man away by the arm!!!
The astonished executive just stood there, stunned. All year long he'd been wheeling and dealing, buying and selling, convinced he had half a million dollars behind him!!!!
Suddenly, he realized that it wasn't the money, real or imagined, that had turned his life around.It was his newfound self-confidence that gave him the power to achieve anything.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

benz model cell phone ...







Never be a developer

Roshan D'Mello (QA Tester)

Mukesh Thakur (Developer)

_______________________________________



Roshan D'Mello: Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in

username text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn't appear.

Mukesh Thakur: How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep

sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it

fixed.



After 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur : Roshan, bug is fixed. Please verify.



After another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in

some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry

is not getting the sound.



After another 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has

Old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt

speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry's machine, please use

head phones and then get the bug closed soon.



Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is

Different across different machines. Sound is coming as 'BEEP' in my machine, but

My colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound

as 'TONG'.



Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The

Two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do

You expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them

uniform?

Please close it.



Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep

Sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces

Beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend's machine produces

Sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all

machines.



Another 2 days later,



Mukesh Thakur : Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the

Volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both

The machines before I get mad and then close the bug.



Another 2 days,



Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug.



Mukesh Thakur : What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for

re-opening?



Roshan D'Mello : Sound intensity is different for machines placed at

different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.




After 2 days,



Mukesh Thakur : I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of

the

two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the

acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity

is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the

bugs.




After 1 year



Roshan D'Mello : I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested

The clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same

Acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that

intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.



Mukesh Thakur : GROWLLLL.....I am really mad now. I am sure that the

Sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background

noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because

of background noice.



Roshan D'Mello : No need for that. We will put the machines and run

them in vacuum and see.



Mukesh Thakur : ??

Result-----------------------

He is now in Mental Asylum while



Roshan D'Mello : has become QA Manager.

when NRI comes back to india

Top 22 Things An Indian Does After Returning From "US"











22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.











21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.











20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health
conscious.











19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.











18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.











17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".


Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".


Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".


Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".


Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".


Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".


Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".


Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead
of Seven Zero Four)











16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every
time he steps out.











15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts
in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)











14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but
deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).











13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.











12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee"
several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y
Zee(but never says Zed)











11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says "Oh! British Style!!!!"











10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.











9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".











8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.











7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.











6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is
experiencing it for the first time.











5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".











4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.











Few more important











3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by
which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.











2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll
the bag on Indian Roads.











Ultimate one : 1.. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or
"When I was in US..."

Crazy pen drives





















































































































































































































































































Saturday, November 7, 2009

Mahindra Satyam recruits again

Jandhyala gari style lo latest thitulu

1. కాకి రెట్టేసిన క్లైంట్ మీటింగ్ కి వెళ్ళిపోయే గలీజ్ నాయాల..

2. బూట్ పాలిష్ కుర్రాడితో బేరాలాడి 50 % డిస్కౌంట్ కి చేయించుకునే పీనాసి నాయాల...

3. నాన్న సికారుకేల్డం అని పిల్లలదిగితే ఆఫీసు లో ఫామిలీ డే కి తీసుకేల్తాననే కక్కుర్తి సన్నాసి....

4. స్నేహితుడు రిక్వెస్ట్ పంపితే accept చెయ్యకుండా తిరిగి request పంపే వెర్రి వెదవ...

5. అష్ట దరిద్రమైన శని గ్రహానికి powder పూసి, బొట్టు పెట్టిన దయ్యంలా ఉన్నావ్....

6. atm లో.. pan card పెట్టే తింగరి సన్నాసి....

7. ac కోసం atm కి వెళ్లి బాలన్స్ enquiry చేసే కక్కుర్తి ఎదవ...

8. సముద్రంలో కప్పలు పట్టే మొహం...

9. Aquarium లో చేపలు పట్టే ఫేసూ..

10. ఉడతలు పట్టే వాడివి...

11. తొండ మొహం వెదవ...

12. తిని పాడేసిన విస్తరాకులు కడిగి అమ్మే కక్కుర్తి ఎదవా...

13. వాడేసిన బ్లేడ్ ముక్కలను ఇనప సామాన్ల వాడికి వేసే పీనాసి నాయాల...

14. అమ్మాయి సీక్రెట్ గా నీ బుక్ లో ప్రేమ లేఖ పెడుతుంటే చూసి, ఏమండి మీ బుక్ కాదండీ నాది అని గట్టిగా అరిచే
అర బుర్ర ఎదవా..

15. కుక్క వెంతపడుతుంటే పరిగెత్తకుండా vodofone sim తీసి పడేసే అక్కుపక్షి...

16. 108 vehicle ని ఆపి లిఫ్ట్ అడిగి తిట్లు తినే తింగరి ఎదవ...

17. శవం మీద మరమరాలు ఏరుకొని bhel puri చేసుకొని తినే పెంట మొహమా..

18. కాకి నోట్లోంచి బ్రెడ్ ముక్క లాక్కునే అంట్ల కాకి ఎదవా...

19. రెండో floor లో పెట్రోల్ బంక్ పెట్టి దివాలా తీసిన ఫేసూ.

20. ఎర్రసైన్యం R.narayana murthi దగ్గర break dance నేర్చుకొనే ఎదవా.