Friday, May 29, 2009

Balakrishna jokes

Balayya practising CHIRU's dialogue (TAGORE)..

ippativaraku na cinemalu 440...
andhulo HITLU 4..
Floplu 40..
Utterfloplu 140..
Varam Adinavi 80..
Varam kuda adanivi 60..
Fans matrame chudanivi 20..
Ika migilinavi 16..
Vatilo asalu release kaanivi 14..
migilina 2 sagamlo apesaru..
natho cinema theesi suicide chesukunna nirmathalu 4..
cinema chustu chachina fans 4232..
Chala inka amina kavala?



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FLASH NEWS:

King of POP and World's best dancer Micheal Jackson was arrested by cops on accusing him on attempt to Suicide..You know the reason y?
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he watched the dance video of balayya..




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Balayya is remaking TITANIC as

"Samudram lo Sanyasi". In the end he doesn't die but swims across the ocean with heroine in one hand and....

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.
.
.
.
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TITANIC on other hand.

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Kannayya ur son is dead.

hearing this kannayya jumps

from 50th floor..

at 35th floor he realizes "i dont have a son"

at 25th floor "i'm not married"

at 3rd floor "SH*T I'm not kannayya. i am Balayya..

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ATHADU DIALOGUE:

Nuvvu padivelu ichina S.I. ki nenu laksha rupayalu istha


Balayya cinema chusi poyadani raasestadu..

polam kavalo pranam kavalo telchuko.



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City mottam godavaga undi
bayataku raku
Buses, C.D shops tagala pedutunnaru..
enduko telusa "MITRUDU" audio vine ekamga 108 mandi 108 lo hospital palayyaru..




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Drona lo priyamani BIKINI - Cinema FLOP.
Billa lo Anushka BIKINI- Cinema AVG.
Heroines tho labham ledani MITRUDU lo mana Balayya BIKINI lo vastunnadu.
Enjoy!




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Balayya interview-

Interviewer: Jnr NTR ki accident enduku ayyindi?

Balayya: While driving, maavadu brake kotta boyi thoda kottadu dhoola theeripoyindi na kodukki



enjoy more balayya jokes @

Balayya Jokes

Gift--Lastforever

One man got a child > > > ..... ....
.... ..... ....
....
1 year later - man asked the child-what to gift you?
...
... ... ...
child said
ping pong ball
....
...
... ... 2'nd b'day- Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball ....
... .....
....
3rd b'day
Father- what gift you want? Son - ping pong ball
...
....
...
.... 4th bday Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
....
...
.... ...
...
...
5th bday Father- what gift you want? Son - ping pong ball ....
....
... ... ...
...
....
....
6thb'day Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
.....
... ....
... ... ...
....
....
>.......................................................................... .. .........
..................................
24th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
.... ... ...
....
....
he got married
at honeymoon
Wife-what do u want?
Husband-ping pong ball
....
...
... .... 25th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
....
...
.... ...
...
...
.... ...
26th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
....
....
.... ... ...
27th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball ....
....
.... ...
...
....
>.......................................................................... ..
........
........................................................................
his kids become 15 yrs old
...
...
..... ...
40th bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
..... ...
....
.... ....
41st b'day kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
.....
...
....
....
... ... 42nd bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball .... ....
.....
....
.....
>.......................................................................... ..
......... >.......................................................................... ..
........
79th b'day
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
....
....
...

Before his death
all the people from whom he took ping pong ball
(Like his Wife, kids and all others) came to him and asked
Why did you ask for a ping pong ball all the time? ....
....
.....
He said give me a ping pong ball then I will tell you....
....
....
... Then those people gave him a ping pong ball
....
..... .....
.... ....
.... ...
..... ...
...
....
....
...
...
... ...
...
...
....
... ...
... ...
...
....
....
...
...
During those last moments when he is about to die
everyone reached him and asked
tell us why did you ask for ping pong ball always?
he said.
.....
.... .....
.....
.....
....
.....
....
.... ....
....
....
....
....
....
..... ....
....
.....
....
....
....
.... ....
....
....
....
....
....
.... ....
....
....
.....
....
....
.... I asked for a ping pong ball on my every b'day because
...
.... ...
...
...
....
...
...
... ...
...
...
.....
...
....
... ...
....
...
....
...
...
... ...
...
And he Died... before he could tell the Reason...
What a tragedy! What a tragedy!!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Managment lesson - Manager Should talk first

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are
on their way to a meeting. On their way through a
park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the
lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally,
one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I
will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager
shouted, I want the first wish. I want to
be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.
"Pfufffff, and he was gone. Now the junior manager
could not keep quiet and shouted " I
want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of
food and cocktails. "Pfufffff, and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said,"I want these two idiots back in
the office after lunch"

Lesson V- "Always allow the bosses to speak first."



More managment lessons

Managment Lesson ..Speak carefully

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an
British and a French, who found this small genie
bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the
bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming
pools, I will give each of you
a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you
shout what you want the pool of water to become, then
your wish will come true." The French wanted to start.
He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE".

The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The
Frenchman was so happy
swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the
Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted," VODKA"
and immersed himself into a pool of
vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is
the British. He was running
towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana
peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
SHIT!!!!!!!........."
Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something,
because sometimes what you say accidentally does
happen.


 More Managment lessons

Managment Lessson - Never Insult

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane
on the way to LA when the American turned to the
Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The
Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't
understand
what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of
-ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over
the question. The American, now
irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are
you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!,
etc......???" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I
am a Japanese."


A while later the Japanese turned to the American and
asked What kind of 'key' was he. The American,
frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of
'-key' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee,
donkee, or monkee?"

Lesson III - Never insult anyone.


More managment lessons


Managment lessons -- money plays

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the
teller at the window:

"I want to open a damn checking account." To which the
astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I
must have misunderstood you. What
did you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open
a damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry
sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in
this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the
window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him
about her problem
customer.

They both return and the manager asks the old geezer:
"What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn
problem, sonny," the
elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the
damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking
account in this damn bank!" "I see," says
the manager thoughtfully. "And you're saying that this
bitch here is giving you a hard time?"

Lesson II - If you are RICH, you can get away with
almost anything.


More managment lessons

Managment Lessons-- BOSS

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m.then
he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with
a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO,
"this is a very sensitive and important document, and
my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the
machine on, inserted the paper,
and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!"
said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the
machine. "I just need one copy."


Lesson I - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows
everything.


More Managment lessons




Managment lessons

Little Krishna in Nick

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

best short story



A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.
The instructions were : The short story had to contain the following three words:
1: Religion,
2: Sexuality,
3: Mystry.

Below is the only A+ short story in the entire class....



"Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder Who did it".

Perfect boss



There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of them were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting their job.

One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him, "Sir, I have promised my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township so I want to leave the office at 5:30 pm."

His boss replied, "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today."

The Scientist started working.. He continued his work after lunch. As usual, he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch only when he felt he was close to completion. The time was 8.30 PM.

Suddenly he remembered the promise he had made to his children.

He looked for his boss but he was not there. Having told him in the morning himself, he closed everything and left for home. Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children. He reached home. The children were not there.

His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The situation was explosive; any talk would boomerang on him. His wife asked him, "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry?"

The man replied, "If you would like to have coffee, I too will have but what about the children?"

Hi wife replied, "You don't know? Your boss came here at 5.15 PM and has taken the children to the exhibition."

What had really happened was ... The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition.

The boss does not have to do it every time. But once it is done, loyalty is established.

That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was tremendous.

By the way, can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was?

He was none other than the mastermind behind India 's successful nuclear weapons and missiles program.

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Former President of India .

Mahindra moves satyam employees to techmahindra

Mahindra may move some satyam employees to other groups with in mahindra group.It is learn t from sources that recruitment in techmahindra is stopped and the Hr of techmahindra are told to recruit people from satyam.This will bring mutual benefit for both companies,Techmahindra will save money by not paying for recruitment etc and satyam will lessen their bench strength.Mahindra can move employees if interested to other companies in the group.

Mahindra may rebrand Satyam

Mahindra group has started searching for a good name for fraud hit IT company Satyam.They may change name , logo and tag line of the company.The re branding exercise of the company will start as soon as the new name is finalized.Re branding exercise may include roadshows,paper advertisements,media meetings by which company will get a new start.Mahindra already started the process of integrating satyam slowly into its umbrella.

worlds smallest monkey


A rare newborn albino Pygmy Marmoset monkey perches on a zookeeper's thumb at

Froso Zoo in Ostersund, Sweden.



The Pygmy Marmoset, which lives in the upper Amazon basin in South America, is the world's smallest monkey and reaches 35 cm ( 13.7 inches) in length and weighs up to 3.5 ounces at maturity.

Friday, May 1, 2009

life ..nice quote

rental agreement format india

RENTAL AGREEMENT

This Rental Agreement is made and executed on the ________________________________
_____________________________at XXX location by and between:

Sri ____________________________________ S/o________________________________
Age________________________
Hereinafter called the TENANT which expression shall mean and include his heirs, legal
representatives, successors, executors, administrators and assignees.
IN FAVOUR OF
Sri. ___________________________________________S/o________________________
Age ____________________.






Where as the above named owner is the absolute owner and possessor of _________(Address of the property) being a two bedroom flat including Car Parking. Where as the above named owner is residing at __________(Location) and intended to offer the schedule premises on rent for which the above named tenant approached the owner and requested to give the premises on rent to him for which the owner agreed to the following terms and conditions:
1. It is agreed between the parties herein that the rent for the schedule premises is Rs.____ (Rupees __________(in words) Rupees only)
2. The tenancy starts from ____(date) a period of eleven months as per English Calendar and expires by ____( date).
3. The tenant has deposited a sum of Rs. _______ with the owner towards security deposit, which is refundable by the owner at the time of vacating the schedule premises by the tenant, and the said security deposit will not carry any interest.
4. The tenant shall pay the monthly rent every month as per English Calendar on or before 10th of
the month and the tenant shall not keep any rent in arrears including hire charges for fixtures. In the event of Tenant falling in arrears in payment of rent and hire charges for fixtures, the owner is at liberty to terminate this rental agreement and demand the Tenant to vacate the schedule premises without any further notice. The present agreement which is being executed for a period of 11 months shall be renewed with the mutual consent of both the parties with further terms and conditions as agreed between them if agreed to confirm further 10% rent raise every year of rent prevailing at that time is agreed now or market correction at that point of time new agreement.
5. The present accommodation is given only for residential purpose and that the tenant shall not use for any commercial or other activity. It is agreed by the Tenant that he shall not sublet or induct any third person.
6. The Tenant shall utilize the premises and shall maintain the same in a neat and habitable condition without causing any damages and also shall not store any prohibited goods or explosives which shall cause danger to the premises.
7. It is agreed between the parties herein that the present rental agreement can be terminated at the instance of either parties by giving one month prior notice even before the expiry of the rental agreement.

8. The Tenant shall permit the owner to inspect the schedule premises at all reasonable times without any objection. The Tenant shall obtain a valid rental receipt from the owner only for the rents tendered.
9. The Tenant shall pay the necessary electricity, water charges and maintenance as per Association of Apartment besides the above rent as per the consumption and shall not keep any arrears with the either electricity department or with Hyderabad Metropolitan Water and Sewerage Board and Apartment Association and in the event of the unpaid bills being accumulated the owner shall deduct the same from the deposit at the time of taking over the vacant peaceful possession of the schedule premises. The Tenant is also bound to reimburse the damages, expenses etc., that may arise on account of any fixtures or any damage caused to the premises which shall be deducted from the deposit given by the Tenant, expenses incurred by the landlord above the deposit shall be reimbursed by the Tenant at the time of vacating and handing over the peaceful possession of the schedule premises. The tenant shall not rear pet dogs etc., without prior permission of the Association.
10. The Tenant shall not alter or modify the schedule premises without the prior written consent of the owner. He shall also adhear to the rules and regulation of the Association.
11. Any breach of the above terms by the Tenant, the owner is at liberty to proceed for eviction of the Tenant immediately without any further notice and the Tenant shall pay double the rent from the date on which he becomes defaulter.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF the above named parties to this agreement have signed this RENTAL AGREEMENT with their own free will and consent on this day, month and year as mentioned above.

WITNESS

1. TENANT






2. LANDLORD






LIST OF FIXTURES: NEW CONDITION
1) Tube Lights to all rooms : __ Nos
2) Ceiling Fans __ Nos. to all rooms
3) Washbasins - __ Nos.
4) 100watts bulbs – __ No.
The tenant shall replace all the fixtures and fittings by himself at his own cost.


if u like this just leave a comment

Satyam employees current status

After techmahindra took up Satyam many satyamites are confident that lay offs will take place.All those who are waiting for project (bench people)
are confident that they will be the primary target.Satyamites who are in wait and watch mode when the whole satyam episode took place started moving fast.They already are waiting for job calls/interviews
and some are holding offers from other companies.Satyamites who are earning more than 10 lakhs can also be primary target these are the middle management people.Many middle level management people started resigning,
this means that they are primary target and they dont want to be sacked.
I think TechMahindra has a good target of reducing atleast Satyam's workforce by 25%.
They can either move some of them to TechMahindra or directly sack them.
But the best thing would be to find some projects for them.
If sacking starts we can hear it might be either forced resignations or direct pink slips.
Many ladies are willing to quit the company before the sacking starts for their personal reasons.
I can see many young freshers who joined the company writing the bank exams/govt exams etc and also applying for higher education abroad and India.Hope for the best in the interest of satyamites.