Marriage

An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one
evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request
to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling,
Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years
and clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in
the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's
wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those
loving pet names' The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the
truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm
scared to death to ask her what it is!' :-)

Mindblowing Stills of DASAVATHARAM

Why did sreesanth cry really?

Do u know why he cried actually??????? J








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Dats d reason………….

DIL ke armaan aansuon me beh gaye~~~~~~~

Learn golf

Courtesy of santabanta

Why i failed my exams?

Cheerleaders in IPL

Images of Cheerleaders from different matches and portals

Kya aap paachvi paas se tez hai

"Kya aap paachvi paas se tez hai "...


IF


1 = 5

2 = 25

3 = 125

4 = 625


5 = ?


Please think twice before scrolling




Answer = 1


REMEMBER THE FIRST LINE.

1 = 5


MORAL OF THE PROBLEM:
DON'T COMPLICATE SIMPLE PROBLEMS IN LIFE

Nuns and Blind Man

Four nuns were assigned to paint a room in a church. It was a really warm day and the nuns were getting really hot in those black clothes they wear. So they took off all their clothes and went on painting naked.

Later they heard a knock on the door....

"Who is it???",

The man who knocked replied, "I'm the blind man".
So, the nuns decided to let him in since he would not be able to see them.

The man then looked around the room, then looked at them and said, "Nice bodies sisters, where do you want the blinds to be put??"

Neo economics -- US spends World Saves

The Japanese save a lot. They do not spend much.

Also Japan exports far more than it imports.
Has an annual trade surplus of over $100 billion, yet Japanese economy is considered weak, even collapsing.

Americans spend, but save little.
Also US imports more, than it exports.
Has an annual trade deficit of over $400 billion.
Yet, the American economy is considered strong and trusted to get stronger.

But from where do Americans get money to spend?
They borrow from Japan, China, and even India.
Virtually others save for the US to spend.
Global savings are mostly invested in US, in dollars.
India itself keeps its foreign currency assets of over $50 billions in US securities.
China has over $160 billion in US securities.
Japan's stakes in US securities is in trillions.
Result:
The US has taken over $5 trillion from the world.
So, as the world saves for the US, Americans spend freely.
Today, to keep the US consumption going, that is for the US economy to work, the countries have to remit $180 billion every quarter that is $2 billion a day to the US!
Otherwise the US economy would go for a sick.
So will the global economy.
The result will be no different if US consumers begin consuming less.
A Chinese economist asked a neat question.
Who has invested more, US in China, or China in US?
The US has invested in China less than half of what China has invested in US.
The same is the case with India. We have invested in US over $50 billion.
But the US has invested less than $20 billion in India.
Why the world is after US?
The secret lies in the American spending, that they hardly save.
In fact they use their credit cards to spend their future income.
That the US spends is what makes it attractive to export to the US.
So US imports more than what it exports year after year.
The result:
The world is dependent on US consumption for its growth.
By its deepening culture of consumption, the US has habituated the world to feed on US consumption.
But as the US needs money to finance its consumption, the world provides the money.
It's like a shopkeeper providing the money to a customer so that the customer keeps buying from his shop. If the customer does not buy; the shop won't have business, unless the shopkeeper funds him.
The US is like the lucky customer.
And the world is like the helpless shopkeeper financier.
Who is America's biggest shopkeeper financer?
Japan of course.
Yet it's Japan which is regarded as weak.
Modern economists complain that Japanese do not spend, so they do not Grow.
To force the Japanese to spend, the Japanese government exerted itself.
Reduced the savings rates, even charged the savers Even then the Japanese did not spend (habits don't change, even with taxes, do they?).
Their traditional postal savings alone is over $1.2 trillions, about three times the Indian GDP.
Thus, savings, far from being the strength of Japan, has become its pain.
Hence, what is the lesson?
A nation cannot grow unless the people spend, not save. Not just spend, but borrow and spend.

Dr. Jagdish Bhagwati, the famous Indian-born economist in the US, told that don't wastefully save.
Start spending, on imported cars and, seriously, even on cosmetics! This will put all nations on a growth curve.
"Saving is sin, and spending is virtue."
Before you follow this neo economics, get someone to save so that you can borrow from them and spend.
This is what US has successfully done in last few decades.

Smart answer 6

A teacher at a TAFE college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.'Now
listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being heretomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,illness, or a death
in your immediate family, but that's it, no otherexcuses whatsoever!'A
smart-arse at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What wouldhappen
if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexualexhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student,shook her head and sweetly
said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write theexam with your other hand.

Smart answer 4

A truck driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up thatread 'Low
Bridge Ahead.'Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got
stuck underit. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
Thepoliceman got out of his car and walked to the truck's cab and said to
thedriver, 'Got stuck, eh?'The truck driver said, 'No, I was delivering this
bridge and ran out ofdiesel!'

Smart answer -3 cop and kid

The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for
speeding,rolled down his window.'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop
said.The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'When the
policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his waywithout a ticket*.

Smart answer 3

A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a supermarket but shecouldn't
find one big enough for her family.She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these
turkeys get any bigger?'
The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'

Smart answer 2

A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
Asa man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened histrench
coat and flashed her.Without blinking an eyelid she said, 'Sir, I need to see
your ticket notyour stub.'

Smart answer

It was mealtime during a flight on a British Airways plane:'Would you like
dinner?' the flight attendant asked the man seated in thefront row.
'What are my choices?' the man asked.
'Yes or no,' she replied.

Old lady and Cop

An older lady gets pulled over for speeding...



Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?



Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.



Older Woman: Oh, I see.



Officer: Can I see your license please?



Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.



Officer: Don't have one?



Older Woman: Lost it, 4 years ago for drunk driving.



Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.



Older Woman: I can't do that.



Officer: Why not?



Older Woman: I stole this car.



Officer: Stole it?



Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.



Officer: You what?



Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see. The Officer looks at the woman and

slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer

slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.



Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please! The woman steps out of her vehicle.



Older woman: Is there a problem sir?



Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.



Older Woman: Murdered the owner?



Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please.



The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.



Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?



Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers. The officer is quite stunned.



Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving license



The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer. The officer examines the

license. He looks quite puzzled.



Officer 2: Thank you ma'am, one of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that

you murdered and hacked up the owner.



Older Woman: Bet the liar told you I was speeding, too, didn't he?....



Don't Mess With Old Ladies (or ANY LADY)!!

Apprisal ... by kareem

Before filling apprisal form



Waiting and thinking of apprisal



After getting apprisal

Apple

A teacher teaching Maths to seven-year-old Arnav asked him, "If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"Within a few seconds Arnav replied confidently, "Four!"

The dismayed teacher was expecting an effortless correct answer (three). She was disappointed. "Maybe the child did not listen properly," she thought. She repeated, "Arnav, listen carefully. If I give you one apple and one apple and one apple, how many apples will you have?"

Arnav had seen the disappointment on his teacher's face. He calculated again on his fingers. But within him he was also searching for the answer that will make the teacher happy. His search for the answer was not for the correct one, but the one that will make his teacher happy. This time hesitatingly he replied, "Four…"

The disappointment stayed on the teacher's face. She remembered that Arnav liked strawberries. She thought maybe he doesn't like apples and that is making him loose focus. This time with an exaggerated excitement and twinkling in her eyes she asked, "If I give you one strawberry and one strawberry and one strawberry, then how many you will have?"

Seeing the teacher happy, young Arnav calculated on his fingers again. There was no pressure on him, but a little on the teacher. She wanted her new approach to succeed. With a hesitating smile young Arnav enquired, "Three?"

The teacher now had a victorious smile. Her approach had succeeded. She wanted to congratulate herself. But one last thing remained. Once again she asked him, "Now if I give you one apple and one apple and one more apple how many will you have?"

Promptly Arnav answered, "Four!"

The teacher was aghast. "How Arnav, how?" she demanded in a little stern and irritated voice.

In a voice that was low and hesitating young Arnav replied, "Because I already have one apple in my bag."

"When someone gives you an answer that is different from what you expect don't think they are wrong. There may be an angle that you have not understood at all. You will have to listen and understand, but never listen with your mind already made up."

Bill clinton and god

Bill Clinton died and went to Heaven. God tells him "Bill, you can choose where you want to spend eternity. I give you a choice of 3 Rooms."

Clinton opened the door to the first room and looked in horror at Hillary with a large knife and her friend Lorena Bobbit. He quickly slammed the door and said, "God, this is horrible. What have you got for me in the 2nd room?"

God took him to the 2nd room and Clinton opened the door to see Saddam Hussein raping Al Gore with his 9-inch cock. "God, I really think I deserve better than this," Clinton complained.

God took him to the 3rd room. Clinton opened the door to see Newt Gingrich sitting in a chair getting his cock sucked by Monica Lewinski.. Brightening, Clinton exlaimed like a schoolboy, "I'll take this room, God.."

"OK,"

God boomed, "Monica, you may go."

Death

A sick man turned to his doctor as he was preparing to Leave the examination room and said, 'Doctor, I am afraid to die. Tell me what lies on the other side.' Very quietly, the doctor said, 'I don't know.' 'You don't know? You, a Christian man, Do not know what is on the other side?' The doctor was holding the handle of the door; On the other side came a sound of scratching and whining, And as he opened the door, a dog sprang into the room And leaped on him with an eager show of gladness. Turning to the patient, the doctor said, 'Did you notice my dog? He's never been in this room before. He didn't know what was inside. He knew nothing except that his master was here, And when the door opened, he sprang in without fear. I know little of what is on the other side of death, But I do know one thing... I know my Master is there and that is enough.'

May today there be peace within you. May you trust God that you are exactly Where you are meant to be. I believe that friends are quiet angels Who lift us to our feet when our wings Have trouble remembering how to fly.

Doctor certificate ..cyber clinic

Certified that Mr. /Miss ____________ _____ , working in your organization, is suffering from 'time-bound' illness. Due to this, he will NOT be able to work more than 8 hours a day and 5 days a week. Any attempt to stretch beyond this timing will lead to severe health problems. The losses to the company due to medical reimbursements will be far more compared to the gains made by stretching beyond 8 hours.

It is also warned to keep my patient away from any kind of shocking news such as " Come over weekend..", " Let's work on holiday..", " Leave cannot be granted. ." etc. which can directly lead to heart strokes.
In view of the above, it is strongly recommended to adjust your deadlines in accordance with the convenience of my patient.
Sd/-

Dr. Impatient

Cyber Clinic

Birthday wishes ..Padma

Satyam Q4 results

Reuse documents

Beggar and woman

Faqir, "Bahenji... Bhokha hoon.. Allah ke waste khana de do."

Lady, "Abhi khana nahi bana, baad main aana."

Faqir, "Mera number le lo, jab khana ban jaye to missed call kar dena"

intersting facts --2

People in China and Japan die disproportionately on the 4th of each month because the words death and four sound alike, and they are represented by the same symbol.

Chicago is closer to Moscow than it is to Rio de Janeiro.

Dogs have two sets of teeth, just like humans. They first have 30 "puppy" teeth, then 42 adult teeth.

In 1950, President Harry Truman threw out the first ball twice at the opening day Washington DC baseball game; once right handed and once left handed.

A Swiss ski resort announced it would combat global warming by wrapping its mountain glaciers in aluminum foil to keep them from melting.

The chameleon has a tongue that is one and a half times the length of his body.

Beethoven dipped his head in cold water before he composed.

There once was a town named "6" in West Virginia.

Ten years ago, only 500 people in China could ski. This year, an estimated 5,000,000 Chinese will visit ski resorts.

In 1920, Babe Ruth broke the single season home run record, with 29. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 30 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 40 home runs. The same year, he became the first major leaguer to hit 50 home runs.

A Nigerian woman was caught entering the UK with 104 kg of snails in her baggage.

Profanity is typically cut from in-flight movies to make them suitable for general audiences. Fox Searchlight Pictures has substituted "Ashcroft" for "A**hole" in the movie Sideways when dubbed for Aerolineas Argentinas flights.

Author Hunter S. Thompson, who committed suicide recently, wanted to be cremated and his ashes to be shot out of a cannon on his ranch.

Sports Illustrated magazine allows subscribers to opt out of receiving the famous swimsuit issue each year. Fewer than 1% choose this option.

There is a company that will (for $14,000) take your ashes, compress them into a synthetic diamond to be set in jewelry for a loved one.

The RIAA sued an 83 year old woman for downloading music illegally, even though a copy of her death certificate was sent to the RIAA a week before it filed the suit.

Two 1903 paintings recently sold at auction for $590,000 - the paintings were in the famous "Dogs Playing Poker" series.

Russian scientists have developed a new drug that prolongs drunkenness and enhances intoxication.

Romanian firefighters could not get their trucks close enough to a burning building, so they put out the fire by throwing snowballs at it.

A perfect SAT score is 1600 combined. Bill Gates scored 1590 on his SAT. Paul Allen, Bill's partner in Microsoft, scored a perfect 1600. Bill Cosby scored less than 500 combined.

Motorists traveling outside Salem, Oregon saw one of the "litter cleanup" signs crediting the American Nazi party. Marion County officials had no choice but to let that group into the adopt-a-road program. The $500 per sign was picked up by Oregon taxpayers. The Ku Klux Klan is also involved in the adopt-a-road program in the state of Arkansas.

Spam filters that catch the word "cialis" will not allow many work-related e-mails through because that word is embedded inside the word "specialist".

McDonald's restaurants will buy 54,000,000 pounds of fresh apples this year. Two years ago, McDonald's purchased 0 pounds of apples. This is attributed to the shift to more healthy menu options (the Apple Pie, which has been at McDonald's for years uses processed Apple Pie Filling).

The biggest dog on record was an Old English Mastiff that weighed 343 pounds. He was 8 feet, 3 inches from nose to tail.

Mailmen in Russia now carry revolvers after a recent decision by the government.

All of Queen Anne's 17 children died before she did.

There are over 87,000 Americans on waiting lists for organ transplants.

American made parts account for only 1% of the Chrysler Crossfire. 96% of the Ford F-150 Heritage Truck is American.

A Dutch court ruled that a bank robber could deduct the 2,000 Euros he paid for his pistol from the 6,600 Euros he has to return to the bank he robbed.

Only 6% of the autographs in circulation from members of the Beatles are estimated to be real.

Intersting facts

Hawaii is moving toward Japan 4 inches every year.

Chimps are the only animals that can recognize themselves in a mirror.

The leg bones of a bat are so thin that no bat can walk.

There are more living organisms on the skin of a single human being than there are human beings on the surface of the earth.

Marilyn Monroe had six toes on one foot.

If you keep a goldfish in the dark room, it will eventually turn white.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

In England, the Speaker of the House is not allowed to speak.

Almonds are members of the peach family.

Maine is the only state whose name is just one syllable.

Americans on the average eat 18 acres of pizza every day.

One person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days, you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

February 1865 is the only month in recorded history not to have a full moon.

More people are killed by donkeys annually than are killed in plane crashes.

Lorne Greene had one of his nipples bitten off by an alligator while he was host of "Lorne Greene's Animal Kingdom".

The dot that appears over the letter "i" is called a tittle.

All major league baseball umpires must wear black underwear while on the job (in case their pants split).

The Spanish word esposa means "wife." The plural, esposas, means "wives," but also "handcuffs."

If all Americans used one third less ice in their drinks the United States would become a net exporter instead of an importer of energy.

If the Nile River were stretched across the United States, it would run nearly from New York to Los Angeles.

San Francisco cable cars are the only National Monuments that move.

The Hoover Dam was built to last 2,000 years. Its concrete will not be fully cured for another 500 years.

Abraham Lincoln's dog, Fido, was assassinated too.

All of David Letterman's suits are custom made - there are no creases in his suit trousers.

Cranberry Jell-O is the only flavor that contains real fruit flavoring.

Fewer than half of the 16,200 major league baseball players have ever hit a home run.

In comic strips, the person on the left always speaks first.

Richard Versalle, a tenor performing at New York's Metropolitan Opera House, suffered a heart attack and fell 10 feet from a ladder to the stage just after singing the line "You can only live so long."

If the entire population of earth was reduced to exactly 100 people, 51% would be female, 49% male; 50% of the world's currency would be held by 6 people, one person would be nearly dead, one nearly born.

In 1920, Babe Ruth out-homered every American League team.

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, England, but only in tropical fish stores.

Toxic house plants poison more children than household chemicals.

The original name of Bank of America was Bank of Italy.

The ant, when intoxicated, will always fall over to its right side.

The California Department of Motor Vehicles has issued six driver's licenses to six different people named Jesus Christ.

Michael Jordan makes more money from Nike each year than all the Nike factory workers in Malaysia combined

baby maker

After years of frustration, the Smiths had no children and decided to use a
proxy father to start their family.

On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife and said,
"I'm off. The man should be here soon".

Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer rang the
doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

"Good morning madam. You don't know me, but I've come to..."

"Oh, no need to explain. I've been expecting you," Mrs. Smith cut in.

"Really?" the photographer asked. "Well, good! I've made a specialty of babies."

"That's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat.

Just where do we start?" asked Mrs. Smith, blushing. "Leave everything to me. I
usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the
bed.

Sometimes the living room floor is fun too; you can really spread out." ..
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work for Harry and me."

"Well, madam, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try
several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure
you'll be pleased with the results."

"I hope we can get this over with quickly," gasped Mrs. Smith.

"Madam, in my line of work, a man must take his time. I'd love to be in and out
in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure."

"Don't I know it!!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed.

The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby
pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus in downtown London."

"Oh my god!!", Mrs. Smith exclaimed, tugging at her handkerchief.

"And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider their mother
was so difficult to work with." The photographer handed Mrs. Smith the picture.

"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.

"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done
right. People were crowding around four and five deep, pushing to get a good
look."

"Four and five deep?" asked Mrs. Smith, eyes widened in amazement..

"Yes", the photographer said. "And for more than three hours, too. The mother
was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then darkness
approached and I began to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began
nibbling on my equipment, I just packed it all in."

Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "You mean they actually chewed on your,
eh...equipment?"

"That's right. Well madam, if you're ready, I'll set up my tripod so that we can
get to work."

"Tripod??" Mrs. Smith looked extremely worried now. "Oh yes, I have to use a
tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big for me to hold while I'm getting
ready for action."

.....Mrs.. Smith fainted!!

Mom and daughters ..honeymoon

A mother had 3 virgin daughters and they were all getting married within a short
period of time.

Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started. She made them
all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with few words on how
marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said
nothing but "Nescafe":
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to the kitchen and got out the Nescafe
jar.
It said. "Good till the last drop". Mom blushed, but was pleased for her
daughter.


The second daughter sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the
card read: "Benson & Hedges".
Mom now knew to go straight to her husbands cigarettes, and she read from the
Benson & Hedges pack:
"Extra long king-size" She was slightly embarrassed but still happy for her
daughter.


The third girl left for her honeymoon in the Caribbean. Mom waited for a week,
nothing, Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a
card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words, "British Airways".
Mom took out her latest Harper's Bazaar magazine flipped through the pages
fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for BA.
The ad said: "Three times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

Mom fainted

little john and teacher

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot
one of them, how many will be left?"
She calls on little Johnny. He replies, "None, they all fly away with they first
gun shot"
The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then, Little Johnny says "I have a question for YOU. There are three women
sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the
triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the
cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"
The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied "Well I suppose the one that's
gobbled down the top and sucked the cone"
To which Little Johnny replied, "The correct answer is the one with the wedding
ring on, but I like your thinking.