Thursday, July 23, 2009

Swami Vijay mallya -joke

“A beautiful dress is of no use until it inspires someone to take it off.”
- SWAMI VIJAY MALLYA





Please forward this mail to 10 people…Miracle awaits you.

* Gopalan FORWARDED this mail to 10 people and that day evening he got a bottle of White Rum *

* When he got the mail, Rajappan believed it and FORWARDED to 15 people and next day morning his uncle come from Gulf with a bottle of Johnny Walker**.

** Red Label Only

* Shashi received the mail and DELETED it. His Brandy Bottle fell from the table and broke. He lost all his Brandy.

* An Army Officer received this mail and he FORWARDED it to 20 people and same day Government increased his Monthly Liquor quota

* Sura received this mail and DELETED it and also made fun of the mail. The same day the Bar near his house closed down.

Please forward, it to as many people as you can. You will see a Miracle happening in your life. Please do not delete it. This mail is not a joke.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

balakrishna jokes -III (As Pokri Mahesh Babu)

pokiri by balakrishna

Ileana: Em chestuntaru meeru,

Balaiah: Mari antha gattiga adigite em cheptaam. Nuvvem anukuntunnav?

Ileana: Ante... age ayipoyi cinemalu lekunda kali kali ga tiruguthu verri chupulu chusukuntu tirige bandodu anukunna....

balaiah: correct manamadhe...

Ileana: kaaligane unnav ga panikochche panulu cheyochu ga...

balaiah : kaali ga evadunnadu. Dabbuliste emaina chesta...

Ileana: emaina ante?

balaiah: ippudu flop cinemalu free ga chesaga, mamuluga aithe dabbulu tisukuni chestha...

Ileana: endukala?

enjoy more balayya jokes @

Balayya Jokes

balakrishna joke -II ( As Software engineer)

if balakrishna was a software engineer, his dialoges:
1) Etthi kottanante Google search lo kooda kanapadakunda potav...
2) Orey Java Reddy, Nenu VB chesa, VC chesa, C kuda chesa nee yabba neenu Java kuda chesa... Nuvvu.. Software vamsam lo ne puttunte.. neeke ganaka.. oka company vunte.. laptop, desktop rendu vunte... raa ra.. dammunte naaku interview cheyyara... raa ra
3) Gattiga Keyboard button nokkanate.. aa sound ke job istav.. alantidi nenu personal gaa vatchi interview ivvatam entra...
4) Debugging naaku maa amma uggu paalatho pattindi ra.
5) Program nuvvu ichina sare, nannu raayamanna sare, Logic nuvvu cheppina sare nannu alochinchamanna sare, eppudayina ekkadaina ee cyber center lo nina sare ... choosukundam

enjoy more balayya jokes @

Balayya Jokes

Tuesday, July 21, 2009

how to make a field mandatory or required in maximo

Field Level Class

For example you want to make a SerialNum field in Asset Screen mandatory based on some requirement we need to modify in your specific class

getMboValue("SERIALNUM").SetRequired(true);

Automation Script

Similarly below script can be used to make a field required using Automation script.

from psdi.util.logging import MXLogger
from psdi.util.logging import MXLoggerFactory
from psdi.mbo import MboConstants

logger = MXLoggerFactory.getLogger("maximo.script");
logger.debug("==================== MandatoryAUTOSCRIPT  START =====================")
mbo.setFieldFlag("SERIALNUM",MboConstants.REQUIRED, True)
logger.debug("==================== MandatoryAUTOSCRIPT  END=====================")

Saturday, July 18, 2009

Laloo ..suaar

One day Laloo was traveling by car. He
was going
to a village for campaigning . Suddenly a piglet came before
the car. The driver couldn't hit the brake at the right time
and
unfortunately the baby pig was killed in the accident . At the sight Laloo
was deeply moved and felt very upset He called the driver and said ,"Jiska e
suuar hai hum usko compensesan dena chahta hoon . Usko dhundke lav
".

At his words the driver went to the nearest village and came back
after some time with a tilak on his forehead, garlands around his neck and
lots of money in his hands!!!

Laloo was surprised . He asked ,"Hum tumko
kaha tha ke uss aadmi ko laiye , aur tum aise wapas aaye ho!
baat kya
hai?"

At this the driver replied " I told them about the incident .
Hearing it they were rejoiced , put tilak and garlands on me,
then
danced for some time and gave this money."

Laloo then asked him "Aap unko
egjactly kaa bole?"

The driver replied :
"Main bola,
MAIN Laloo Prasad Yadav KA DRIVER HOON,
MAINE SUAAR KE BACHHE KO MAR DALA
HAI......... ."

DR.Banta

A Doctor wanted to get off work and go for touring, so he approached his assistant, "Banta, I am going on tour tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic. I want you to take care of the clinic and take care of all of our patients".

"Yes, sir!!!" answers Banta.

The doctor goes on tour and returns the following day and asks, "So,Banta, How was your day?" Banta told him that he took care of three
patients.

"The first one had a Headache so I gave him Analgin."

"Bravo Mate, and the second one?" asks the doctor.

"The second one had running nose and I gave him Coldarin, sir" says Banta.

"Bravo, bravo! You're good at this and what about the third one?" asks the doctor.

"Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman enters like a flame, she undresses herself, taking off everything
including her inners and lies down on the table and shouts :

HELP ME! For 5 years I have not seen any man!!!!!"

And what did you do Banta?" asks the doctor.

Sahib - I put Gentamycin drops in her eyes!!!

hip hop elephant

Thursday, July 16, 2009

ECIL recruitment

ADVERTISEMENT NO. : 4/2009, Name of the post: GRADUATE ENGINEER TRAINEE
Name of the Centre (for Written Examination) ______________________________________
(Choose any one from the centres of HYDERABAD, BANGALORE, NEW DELHI, CHENNAI, KOLKATTA & MUMBAI)
FULL NAME IN CAPITALS
( As per Matriculation certificate)
FATHER’S NAME :
SEX : MALE / FEMALE
DATE OF BIRTH & AGE (as on 30.06.2009) :
CATEGORY (GEN/SC/ST/OBC/PH) :
NATIONALITY : RELIGION :
TELEPHONE No. (With STD Code) and e-mail id, if any: ___________________________
ADDRESS FOR COMMUNICATION :
(in capital letters)
QUALIFICATIONS : ( Matriculation onwards)
Examination
Board/ University
Yr. of Passing
Class
Percen-
tage of
marks
Specialization/Branch
Matric/SSC
EXPERIENCE, if any (in chronological order):
Period
Name of the Organization
From
To
Post held/ Designation
Basic pay, Scale of pay & Total Salary drawn
Reasons for leaving
DD/Bankers cheque details: No.__________________, Date: ____________, Bank:_____________, Branch: ________
Details of relatives, if any, employed in ECIL:
Name, Designation & Division
Relationship
REFERENCES OF PERSONS IN RESPONSIBLE POSITION (NAME & ADDRESS)
1. 2.
Affix RecentPassport sizephotograph
DECLARATION
I certify that the above information is correct and true to the best of my knowledge and belief. In the event of any information being found false or incorrect, action can be taken against me. Further declare that I have never been arrested/prosecuted and convicted by a Criminal Court or involved in any other case registered by the police.
DATE: SIGNATURE OF THE APPLICANT
Note: The application is liable for rejection, if the application is incomplete, not filled in the prescribed proforma and not furnished with the copies of certificates & testimonials in support of Qualification (including consolidated marks memo), age, caste (for SC/ST/OBC/PH) etc.
Electronics Corporation of India Limited, is a leading Public Sector Company in the area of Strategic Electronics with thrust on innovation & indigenization. A technology leader and pioneer, engineers at ECIL have opportunities to work in some of the most exciting national and international projects in Nuclear, Defence, Space, Security, Telecom, IT, Medical and e-governance sectors in the functional areas of Design & Development, Project execution, Engineering, Production, Testing & qualification, Marketing and maintenance. Core competencies include Automation & Control, Power Electronics & drives, SATCOM, DSP, Communication & networks, EW, Microwave & RF engineering, Mechanical & Structural design, Inertial systems & navigation, Hybrids, ASICS, VHDL, FPGA, Sensors, Actuators & Detectors, Embedded electronics, Real-time software etc. ECIL has close collaboration with national R&D laboratories and institutes and has been involved in dream projects such as Chandrayaan-I, LHC etc., pushing technology frontiers. ECIL is looking for dynamic and result-oriented persons for its Headquarters and Zonal /Branch/Site Offices located across India:
Name of the post
Upper age limit
as on 30.06.2009
Qualification
G Graduate Engineer Trainee – 131 posts
in the disciplines of ECE, EEE, E&I,
CSE, Civil & Mechanical [ SC-10; ST-07; OBC-19; UR-91 & PH-4 (2-OH & 2-HH) ]
25 years
First Class Engineering degree with minimum 60% marks in aggregate from AICTE approved Colleges/ Recognised Universities in the relevant discipline.
STIPEND: The selected candidates will undergo training for a period of one year on a consolidated stipend of Rs. 20,800/- p.m.(approximately). In addition to stipend, the other benefits admissible are Medical, Conveyance Reimbursement, Subsidised Transport and Canteen facility, PF etc., as per rules of the Corporation. On successful completion of the training, they will be appointed as Engineer (Contract) for 3 years. On successful completion of Contract appointment, they will be absorbed as Technical Officer in the scale of pay of Rs.16400-40500.
Method of Selection: The selection process will be through Written Test and Interview of short-listed candidates, based on the performance in written test. The written test will be held at Hyderabad, Bangalore, New Delhi, Kolkatta, Chennai & Mumbai. The written test date will be intimated separately by post to eligible candidates. No TA will be paid for attending the Written Test.
Relaxations: First Class in Engineering Degree is relaxed to Second Class with minimum 50% marks in aggregate for SC/ST candidates.
Age: Upper age limit is relaxable by 5 years for SC/ST, 3 years for OBC. In respect of PH candidates, belonging to SC/ST/OBC/Gen. categories, the upper age relaxation will be for PH-SC/ST-15 yrs; PH-OBC-13 yrs; & PH-Gen -10 years.
The selected candidates are required to execute an Indemnity & Surety Bonds for a period of 4 years (1 year as Trainee + 3 years as Engineer-Contract) for Rs.1,50,000/-.
GENERAL CONDITIONS:
1 Candidates applying for the above posts are required to forward a crossed Demand Draft/Bankers’ cheque for Rs.100/- (SC/ST/PH candidates are exempted) in favour of “ECIL” payable at Hyderabad.
2 Management reserves the right to decide on standards/criteria, depending on the response, to call for written test.
3 Incomplete Applications, without documentary proof and received after due date are liable for rejection.
4 Canvassing in any form will be a disqualification.
5 The above vacancy position may vary depending upon the needs of the Organisation.
6 Candidates may be required to work anywhere in India, depending on needs and discretion of Management.
ECIL will not be responsible for any postal delay/loss in transit in submission of application/document within specified time.
HOW TO APPLY:
Candidates fulfilling the requirements may apply only in the prescribed application form available on our website www.ecil.co.in furnishing full details of name of the Centre, name, date of birth, whether SC/ST/OBC/PH etc., fully supported with documentary proof, accompanied with a recent passport size photograph and DD/Bankers’ Cheque (as stated above) to the Deputy General Manager (Recruitment), Personnel Group, ECIL, ECIL (PO), Hyderabad-500 062. Last date for receipt of applications is 31.07.2009
ONLY INDIAN NATIONALS NEED APPLY.
Advt. No. 4/2009 DEPUTY GENERAL MANAGER (R)

Accenture referal testing professionals


Referrals Invited for Testing Professionals!!

In this time of volatility in world markets and in the global economy, we continue to seek and hire talent, through careful forethought. In the past, you have helped us recruit the best talent for Accenture, through Talent Scout, and now once again, you have an opportunity to refer your friends for the select job opportunities listed below.

Key Open Positions:

Skill

Level

Location

Profile to be uploaded under

Performance Testing - Performance data analysis

SE

Bangalore

Performance Testing - Performance data analysis

Performance Test-Test Environment Mgmt

SSE

Bangalore

Performance Test-Test Environment Mgmt

HP Software (Mercury) - LoadRunner

SE

Bangalore

Mercury Performance Tools Professional

IBM-Rational Functional Tester

TL

Bangalore/Mumbai/Chennai

Rational Functional Tools Automated Functional professionals

HP Software (Mercury) - Quick Test Professional

TL

Bangalore/Hyderabad/Mumbai/Chennai

Mercury Functional Tools - Testing Automated professional

Automated Functional Test-Test Mgmt

AM

Bangalore/Chennai

Automated Testing Professionals

Job Description for performance testing skills

Level: Sr. Systems Analyst (Associate Manager)

  • Lead performance testing team.
  • Provide test effort estimates for performance testing engagements.
  • Test results and performance data analysis to identify application bottlenecks
  • Working closely with development teams to resolve performance issues.
  • Formulate test strategies to debug performance issues.
  • Mentor junior team members in technical area of growth.
  • Provide thought leadership to team members
  • Conduct technical trainings.
  • Prepare/review test plans and test reports

Mandatory skills:

  • Strong in LoadRunner and Rational Performance Tester/Silk Performer/ VSTS tools.
  • Expert in performance monitoring and tuning of applications with respect to any one tier.
  • Expert in performance tuning of Web/App/DB/Network
  • Programming knowledge in C, C++, Java, J2EE or .Net

Nice to have skills:

  • Strong scripting skills with focus on tools level scripting.
  • Experience in resolving performance issues
  • Expert in performance testing methodology
  • Work experience on multiple protocols.
  • Sound knowledge on systems architecture and networks
  • Good experience in conducting trainings.
  • Scripting experience using PERL, Excel macros.
  • HP Certification

Level: Systems Analyst (Team Lead)

  • Lead offshore performance testing team.
  • Analyze test results and performance data analysis to identify application bottlenecks
  • Formulate test strategies to debug performance issues.
  • Mentor junior team members in technical area of growth.
  • Provide thought leadership to team members
  • Conduct technical trainings.
  • Prepare/review test plans and test reports
  • Test execution and Planning

Mandatory skills:

  • Strong in LoadRunner/ Rational Performance Tester/Silk Performer/ VSTS tools.
  • Expert in performance testing methodology

Nice to have skills:

  • Experience in performance monitoring and tuning of applications with respect to any one tier
  • Experience in resolving performance issues
  • Strong scripting skills with focus on tools level scripting.
  • Work experience on multiple protocols.
  • Sound knowledge on systems architecture and networks
  • Programming knowledge in C, C++, Java, J2EE or .Net
  • Good experience in conducting trainings.
  • Scripting experience using PERL, Excel macros.
  • HP Certification

Level: Senior System Engineer (SSE)

· Plan end-to-end Performance Testing.

· Perform end-to-end performance testing

· Test results analysis and bottleneck identification

· Assist team members in executing performance tests.

· Conduct technical trainings.

· Prepare test plans and test reports

· Exposed of performance testing methodology

Mandatory skills:

· Must be strong in Load Runner/ Rational Performance Tester/Silk Performer/ VSTS tools.

Nice to have skills:

· Experienced in multiple protocols.

· HP certification

· Scripting experience using PERL, Excel macros.

· Programming knowledge in C, C++, Java, J2EE or .Net

Job description for Automation testing skills

IBM RFT:

· 4-6 years of automation experience with a minimum of 4 years of automation experience

· Expert knowledge in IBM Rational Functional Tester test tool stack, integration with IBM-RQM

· Experience in implementing automation frameworks (Keyword driven/functional decomposition)

· Experience in conducting technical automation qualification and propose automation approach/strategy

· Ability to lead a team of (5-10) automation engineers

HP-QTP/BPT:

· 4-6 years of automation experience with a minimum of 4 years of automation experience

· Expert knowledge in HP Quick Test Professional test tool stack, integration with HP-Quality Centre

· Experience in implementing automation frameworks (Keyword driven/functional decomposition)

· Experience in conducting technical automation qualification and propose automation approach/strategy

· Ability to lead a team of (5-10) automation engineers

How does one Refer??

  • To preserve the strong professional reputation of the Company, shared by all employees, the Company independently verifies employment qualifications and references for all candidates for employment. We encourage all our employees to reinforce this message with the candidates they refer for opportunities within Accenture.
  • Please go through the Employee Referral policy available on the IDC portal – https://publishing.accenture.com/Policies/HR/RecruitingHiring/1075.htm

track ur mobile

Got an interesting fact to share. Now a days each one of us carry Hi Fi
Mobile devices and always fear that it may be stolen.

Each mobile carries a unique IMEI i.e International Mobile Identity No
which can be used to track your mobile anywhere in the world.

This is how it works!!!!!!

1. Dial *#06# from your mobile.

2.Your mobile shows a unique 15 digit .

3.Note down this no anywhere but except your mobile as this is the no
which will help trace your mobile in case of a theft.

4.Once stolen you just have to mail this 15 digit IMEI no. to
cop@vsnl.net

5.No need to go to police.

6.Your Mobile will be traced within next 24 hrs via a complex system of
GPRS and internet.

7.You will find where your hand set is being operated even in case your
no is being changed.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Apartment for rent

a businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend

the night with her for $500. They did their thing,

and, before he left, he told her that he did

secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling

the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

>>

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had

done, realizing that the whole event had not been

worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque

for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

>>

"Dear Madam:

Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your

apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon,

because when I rented the place, I was under the

impression that:

#1 - it had never been occupied;

#2 - there was plenty of heat; and

#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.

However, I found out that:

#1 - it had been previously occupied,

#2 - there wasn ' t any heat, and

#3 - it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately

returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:

" Dear Sir:

#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a

beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.

#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you

know how to turn it on.

#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of

regular size, but if you don ' t have enough furniture

to fill it, please do not blame the management.

So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced

to contact your present landlady."

Accenture Recruits Siebel Professionals

Referrals Invited for Siebel Professionals!!!

In this time of volatility in world markets and in the global economy, we continue to seek and hire talent, through careful forethought. In the past, you have helped us recruit the best talent for Accenture, through Talent Scout, and now once again, you have an opportunity to refer your friends for the select job opportunities listed below.

Like before, your referrals could win you a bonus!

Key Open Positions:

Skill
Level
Experience
Location
Profile to be uploaded under
Siebel-Analytics
SSE
4 - 6 yrs
Mumbai
Siebel Analytics
Siebel-Analytics
TL
6 - 8 yrs
Bangalore
Siebel Analytics
Siebel-Configuration
SSE/TL/AM
4 - 10 yrs
Bangalore
Siebel Configuration
Siebel-Configuration
SSE/TL
4 - 8 yrs
Chennai
Siebel Configuration
Siebel-Enterprise Application Integration (eAI)
SSE
4 - 6 yrs
Chennai
Siebel EAI
Siebel-Enterprise Integration Management (EIM)
SSE/TL/AM
4 - 10 yrs
Bangalore
Siebel EIM
Siebel-Environment Management
AM
8 - 10 yrs
Bangalore
Siebel-Environment Management
Siebel-Integration
SSE
4 - 6 yrs
Bangalore
Siebel-Integration


How does one Refer??

Please visit https://idc.home.accenture.com/HR/Documents/CurrentOpening.xls to view the complete list of current open positions.
If your friend’s profile matches any of the mentioned requirements, log on to https://india.jobs.accenture.com/talentscout
Select the ‘Solutions workforce’ and upload your friend’s resume.
Once the profile is successfully uploaded – you would get an auto generated mail with a unique CID number for the candidate.
You can use the CID number to track the status of the referred candidate.

Regards
Talent Scout Team,
Delivery Centre for Technology in India


To preserve the strong professional reputation of the Company, shared by all employees, the Company independently verifies employment qualifications and references for all candidates for employment. We encourage all our employees to reinforce this message with the candidates they refer for opportunities within Accenture.
Please go through the Employee Referral policy available on the IDC portal – https://publishing.accenture.com/Policies/HR/RecruitingHiring/1075.htm

Curing Cancer Naturally

1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not

show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few

billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer

cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable

to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable

size.



2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's

lifetime.



3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be

destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumours.



4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple

nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental,

food and lifestyle factors.



5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and

including supplements will strengthen the immune system.



6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and

also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow,

gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver,

kidneys, heart, lungs etc.



7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages

healthy cells, tissues and organs.



8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce

tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not

result in more tumor destruction.



9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and

radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the

person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.



10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and

become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer

cells to spread to other sites.



11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by

not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.





WHAT CANCER CELLS FEED ON:



a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one

important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like

NutraSweet, Equal,Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is

harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses

but only in very sma ll amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make

it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.



b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the

gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and

substituting with unsweetened soy milk, cancer cells are being starved.



c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet

is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than

beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones

and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.



d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains,

seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment.

About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh

vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach

down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth

of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try

and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts)

and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at

temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).



e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine.

Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties.

Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins

and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.



12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive

enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrefied and

leads to more toxic buildup.



13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from

or eating less meat it frees more

enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's

killer

cells to destroy the cancer cells..



14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence,

Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the

body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like

vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the

body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded

cells.



15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and

positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger,

unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic

environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax

and enjoy life.



16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising

daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular

level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Am I a Hindu? -- Uday Pai

Four years ago, I was flying from JFK NY Airport to SFO to attend a

meeting at Monterey, CA.

An American girl was sitting on the right side, near window seat.

It indeed was a long journey - it would take nearly seven hours!



I was surprised to see the young girl reading a Bible - unusual of

young Americans! (Later I came to know that September 11 has changed

mind-set of lot of US citizens. They suddenly turned religious, it

seemed.) After some time she smiled and we had few acquaintances talk.

I told her that I am from India.



Then suddenly the girl asked: "What's your faith?"

"What?" I didn't understand the question.

"I mean, what's your religion? Are you a Christian? Or a Muslim?"

"No!" I replied, "I am neither Christian nor Muslim".

Apparently she appeared shocked to listen to that.

"Then who are you…?"

"I am a Hindu", I said.

She looked at me as if she is seeing a caged animal.

She could not understand what I was talking about.



A common man in Europe or US knows about Christianity and Islam, as

they are the leading religions of the world today.



But a Hindu, what?

I explained to her - I am born to a Hindu father and Hindu mother.

Therefore, I am a Hindu by birth.



"Who is your prophet?" she asked.

"We don't have a prophet," I replied.

"What's your Holy Book?"

"We don't have a single Holy Book, but we have hundreds and thousands

of philosophical and sacred scriptures," I replied.

"Oh, come on…at least tell me who is your God?"

"What do you mean by that?"



"Like we have Yahweh and Muslims have Allah - don't you have a God?"



I thought for a moment. Muslims and Christians believe one God (Male

God) who created the world and takes an interest in the humans who

inhabit it. Her mind is conditioned with that kind of belief.



According to her (or anybody who doesn't know about Hinduism), a

religion need to have one Prophet, one Holy book and one God. The mind

is so conditioned and rigidly narrowed down to such a notion that

anything else is not acceptable. I understood her perception and

concept about faith. You can't compare Hinduism with any of the

present leading religions where you have to believe in one concept of

god.



I tried to explain to her: "You can believe in one god and he can be a

Hindu. You may believe in multiple deities and still you can be a

Hindu. What's more - you may not believe in god at all, still you can

be a Hindu. An atheist can also be a Hindu."

This sounded very crazy to her.



She couldn't imagine a religion so unorganized, still surviving for

thousands of years, even after onslaught from foreign forces.



"I don't understand…but it seems very interesting. Are you religious?"

What can I tell to this American girl?



I said: "I do not go to temple regularly. I do not make any regular

rituals. I have learned some of the rituals in my younger days. I

still enjoy doing it sometimes."

"Enjoy? Are you not afraid of God?"



"God is a friend. No- I am not afraid of God. Nobody has made any

compulsions on me to perform these rituals regularly."



She thought for a while and then asked: "Have you ever thought of

converting to any other religion?"



"Why should I? Even if I challenge some of the rituals and faith in

Hinduism, nobody can convert me from Hinduism. Because, being a Hindu

allows me to think independently and objectively, without

conditioning… I remain as a Hindu never by force, but choice." I told

her that Hinduism is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and

practices. It is not a religion like Christianity or Islam because it

is not founded by any one person or does not have an organized

controlling body like the Church or the Order, I added. There is no

institution or authority.



"So, you don't believe in God?" she wanted everything in black and white.



"I didn't say that. I do not discard the divine reality. Our

scripture, or Sruthis or Smrithis - Vedas and Upanishads or the Gita -

say God might be there or he might not be there. But we pray to that

supreme abstract authority (Para Brahma) that is the creator of this

universe."



"Why can't you believe in one personal God?"



"We have a concept - abstract - not a personal god. The concept or

notion of a personal God, hiding behind the clouds of secrecy, telling

us irrational stories through few men whom he sends as messengers,

demanding us to worship him or punish us, does not make sense. I don't

think that God is as silly as an autocratic emperor who wants others

to respect him or fear him." I told her that such notions are just

fancies of less educated human imagination and fallacies, adding that

generally ethnic religious practitioners in Hinduism believe in

personal gods. The entry level Hinduism has over-whelming

superstitions too. The philosophical side of Hinduism negates all

superstitions.



"Good that you agree God might exist. You told that you pray. What is

your prayer then?"

"Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti,"

"Funny," she laughed, "What does it mean?"



"May all the beings in all the worlds be happy. Om Peace, Peace, Peace."

"Hmm…very interesting. I want to learn more about this religion. It is

so democratic, broad-minded and free…" she exclaimed.



"The fact is Hinduism is a religion of the individual, for the

individual and by the individual with its roots in the Vedas and the

Bhagavad-Gita. It is all about an individual approaching a personal

God in an individual way according to his temperament and inner

evolution - it is as simple as that."



"How does anybody convert to Hinduism?"



"Nobody can convert you to Hinduism, because it is not a religion, but

a set of beliefs and practices. Everything is acceptable in Hinduism

because there is no single authority or organization either to accept

it or to reject it or to oppose it on behalf of Hinduism."



I told her - if you look for meaning in life, don't look for it in

religions; don't go from one cult to another or from one guru to the

next.



For a real seeker, I told her, Bible itself gives guidelines when it

says "Kingdom of God is within you." I reminded her of Christ's

teaching about the love that we have for each other. That is where you

can find the meaning of life.



Loving each and every creation of the God is absolute and real.

'Isavasyam idam sarvam' Isam (the God) is present (inhabits) here

everywhere - nothing exists separate from the God, because God is

present everywhere. Respect every living being and non-living things

as God. That's what Hinduism teaches you.



Hinduism is referred to as Sanathana Dharma, the eternal faith. It is

based on the practice of Dharma, the code of life. The most important

aspect of Hinduism is being truthful to oneself. Hinduism has no

monopoly on ideas. It is open to all. Hindus believe in one God (not a

personal one) expressed in different forms. For them, God is timeless

and formless entity.



Ancestors of today's Hindus believe in eternal truths and cosmic laws

and these truths are opened to anyone who seeks them. But there is a

section of Hindus who are either superstitious or turned fanatic to

make this an organized religion like others. The British coin the word

"Hindu" and considered it as a religion.



I said: "Religions have become an MLM (multi-level- marketing)

industry that has been trying to expand the market share by

conversion. The biggest business in today's world is Spirituality.

Hinduism is no exception…"



I am a Hindu primarily because it professes Non-violence - "Ahimsa

Paramo Dharma" - Non violence is the highest duty. I am a Hindu

because it doesn't conditions my mind with any faith system.