forwards

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Roshan D'Mello (QA Tester)

Mukesh Thakur (Developer)

_______________________________________

Roshan D'Mello: Hey Mukesh, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in

username text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn't appear.

Mukesh Thakur: How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep

sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it

fixed.

After 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur : Roshan, bug is fixed. Please verify.

After another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in

some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague Rajat Choudhry

is not getting the sound.

After another 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. I observed that your friend Rajat Choudhry has

Old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt

speakers. So, to hear the sound in Rajat Choudhry's machine, please use

head phones and then get the bug closed soon.

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is

Different across different machines. Sound is coming as 'BEEP' in my machine, but

My colleague Rajat Choudhry who is having IBM machine is getting the sound

as 'TONG'.

Mukesh Thakur : Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The

Two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds. Do

You expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them

uniform?

Please close it.

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep

Sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces

Beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend's machine produces

Sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all

machines.

Another 2 days later,

Mukesh Thakur : Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the

Volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both

The machines before I get mad and then close the bug.

Another 2 days,

Roshan D'Mello : I have re-opened the bug.

Mukesh Thakur : What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for

re-opening?

Roshan D'Mello : Sound intensity is different for machines placed at

different locations (different buildings). So, I have re-opened it.

After 2 days,

Mukesh Thakur : I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of

the

two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the

acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity

is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the

bugs.

After 1 year

Roshan D'Mello : I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested

The clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same

Acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that

intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.

Mukesh Thakur : GROWLLLL.....I am really mad now. I am sure that the

Sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background

noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because

of background noice.

Roshan D'Mello : No need for that. We will put the machines and run

them in vacuum and see.

Mukesh Thakur : ??

Result-----------------------

He is now in Mental Asylum while

Roshan D'Mello : has become QA Manager.

when NRI comes back to india

Top 22 Things An Indian Does After Returning From "US"

22. Use Nope for No and Yep for Yes.

21. Tries to use credit card in road side hotel.

20. Drinks and carries mineral water and always speaks of health
conscious.

19. Sprays deo such so that he doesn't need to take bath.

18. Sneezes and says 'Excuse me'.

17. Says "Hey" instead of "Hi".

Says "Yogurt" instead of "Curds".

Says "Cab" instead of "Taxi".

Says "Candy" instead of "Chocolate".

Says "Cookie" instead of "Biscuit".

Says " Free Way " instead of "Highway".

Says "got to go" instead of "Have to go".

Says "Oh" instead of "Zero", (for 704, says Seven Oh Four Instead
of Seven Zero Four)

16. Doesn't forget to crib about air pollution. Keeps cribbing every
time he steps out.

15. Says all the distances in Miles (Not in Kilo Meters), and counts
in Millions. (Not in Lakhs)

14. Tries to figure all the prices in Dollars as far as possible (but
deep down the heart multiplies by 43 times).

13. Tries to see the % of fat on the cover of a milk pocket.

12. When need to say Z (zed), never says Z (Zed), repeats "Zee"
several times, if the other person unable to get, then says X, Y
Zee(but never says Zed)

11. Writes date as MM/DD/YYYY, on watching traditional DD/MM/YYYY,
says "Oh! British Style!!!!"

10. Makes fun of Indian Standard Time and Indian Road Conditions.

9. Even after 2 months, complaints about "Jet Lag".

8. Avoids eating more chili (hot) stuff.

7. Tries to drink "Diet Coke", instead of Normal Coke.

6.. Tries to complain about any thing in India as if he is
experiencing it for the first time.

5. Pronounces "schedule" as "skejule", and "module" as "mojule".

4. Looks suspiciously towards Hotel/Dhaba food.

Few more important

3. From the luggage bag, does not remove the stickers of Airways by
which he traveled back to India , even after 4 months of arrival.

2. Takes the cabin luggage bag to short visits in India, tries to roll
the bag on Indian Roads.

Ultimate one : 1.. Tries to begin conversation with "In US ...." or
"When I was in US..."

Crazy pen drives

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Mahindra Satyam recruits again

Jandhyala gari style lo latest thitulu

1. కాకి రెట్టేసిన క్లైంట్ మీటింగ్ కి వెళ్ళిపోయే గలీజ్ నాయాల..

2. బూట్ పాలిష్ కుర్రాడితో బేరాలాడి 50 % డిస్కౌంట్ కి చేయించుకునే పీనాసి నాయాల...

3. నాన్న సికారుకేల్డం అని పిల్లలదిగితే ఆఫీసు లో ఫామిలీ డే కి తీసుకేల్తాననే కక్కుర్తి సన్నాసి....

4. స్నేహితుడు రిక్వెస్ట్ పంపితే accept చెయ్యకుండా తిరిగి request పంపే వెర్రి వెదవ...

5. అష్ట దరిద్రమైన శని గ్రహానికి powder పూసి, బొట్టు పెట్టిన దయ్యంలా ఉన్నావ్....

6. atm లో.. pan card పెట్టే తింగరి సన్నాసి....

7. ac కోసం atm కి వెళ్లి బాలన్స్ enquiry చేసే కక్కుర్తి ఎదవ...

8. సముద్రంలో కప్పలు పట్టే మొహం...

9. Aquarium లో చేపలు పట్టే ఫేసూ..

10. ఉడతలు పట్టే వాడివి...

11. తొండ మొహం వెదవ...

12. తిని పాడేసిన విస్తరాకులు కడిగి అమ్మే కక్కుర్తి ఎదవా...

13. వాడేసిన బ్లేడ్ ముక్కలను ఇనప సామాన్ల వాడికి వేసే పీనాసి నాయాల...

14. అమ్మాయి సీక్రెట్ గా నీ బుక్ లో ప్రేమ లేఖ పెడుతుంటే చూసి, ఏమండి మీ బుక్ కాదండీ నాది అని గట్టిగా అరిచే
అర బుర్ర ఎదవా..

15. కుక్క వెంతపడుతుంటే పరిగెత్తకుండా vodofone sim తీసి పడేసే అక్కుపక్షి...

16. 108 vehicle ని ఆపి లిఫ్ట్ అడిగి తిట్లు తినే తింగరి ఎదవ...

17. శవం మీద మరమరాలు ఏరుకొని bhel puri చేసుకొని తినే పెంట మొహమా..

18. కాకి నోట్లోంచి బ్రెడ్ ముక్క లాక్కునే అంట్ల కాకి ఎదవా...

19. రెండో floor లో పెట్రోల్ బంక్ పెట్టి దివాలా తీసిన ఫేసూ.

20. ఎర్రసైన్యం R.narayana murthi దగ్గర break dance నేర్చుకొనే ఎదవా.

Friday, October 30, 2009

CTGIN2398E : An existing maximo db version is not valid and this installer requires minimum version is 7100

We are getting this error while installing Maximo 7 version .

Debuging : While debugging we found that maxvars table already existed in that particular database.

select * from maxvars

is giving us result and if this table exists it tells maximo that it wants to run an update installer not a fresh installation

Solution : If it is a fresh installation then please clean all the database properly .If database is on a shared environment please ask your DBA to hit

select * from dba_objects where object_name='maxvars'

if it has maxvars as public synonym by some other maximo it will be an issue for our installation

if you like this please leave your comments.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

This is what we missed 62 years

Ye wo Pakistan hai jise humne 62 saal pehle kho diya .

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Well done Oprah and British Airways.

TWO TRUE STORIES ABOUT RACISM

1) I'm sure many of you watched the recent taping of the Oprah Winfrey

Show where her guest was Tommy Hilfiger. On the show, she asked him if
the statements about race he was accused of saying were true.
Statements like'...'If I'd known African-Americans, Hispanics, Jewish
and Asians would buy my clothes, I WOULD NOT have made them so nice. I wish these people would *NOT* buy my clothes, as they are made for upper class white people'

His answer to Oprah was a simple 'YES'.
Where after she immediately asked him to leave her show.

My suggestion? Don't buy your next shirt or perfume from Tommy Hilfiger.
Let's give him what he asked for. Let's not buy his clothes, let's put
Him in a financial state where he himself will not be able to afford the
ridiculous prices he puts on his clothes. BOYCOTT.
PLEASE SEND THIS MESSAGE TO ANYONE YOU KNOW..

Then send it to the whole community that's not white people and see the result.
We have to see the result of unity.

Let's find out if Non-whites really play such a small part in
the world. Stop buying any range of their (Tommy H etc) product, perfume, cosmetics,
clothes, bags, etc.,

2) Scene took place on a British Airways flight between Johannesburg and London .

A White woman, about 50 years old, was seated next to a black man.
Obviously disturbed by this, she called the air Hostess..
'Madam, what is the matter,' the hostess asked. '
You obviously do not see it then?' she responded. '
You placed me next to a black man.
I do not agree to sit next to someone from such a repugnant group.
Give me an alternative seat.'
'Be calm please,' the hostess replied.
'Almost all the places on this Flight is taken..

I will go to see if another place is available.' The Hostess went
away and t hen came back a few minutes later.. 'Madam, Just as I thought, there are no other available seats in the economy class. I spoke to the captain and he informed me that there is a seat in the business class.
All the same, we still have one place in the first class.' Before the woman
could say anything, the hostess continued: 'It is not Usual for our
company to permit someone from the economy class to sit in the first
class. However, given the circumstances, the captain feels that it would be scandalous to make someone sit next to someone so disgusting.' She
turned to the black guy, and said, 'Therefore, Sir, if you would like to,
please collect your hand luggage, a seat awaits you in first class.'
At that moment, the other passengers who were shocked by what they had just witnessed stood up and applauded.

Both the above are true stories. If You are against racism, please send this message to all your friends;

'please do not Delete it without sending it to at least one person'.

Friday, September 25, 2009

Happy Dussera..Devi Navaratri

Monday, September 21, 2009

Phone Numbers of Cabs in Hyderabad and Secunderabad

City Cabs - 040 66316000, 040 66206620
Hyderabad Cabs - 040 4422 2222
Call taxi : - 040-66626620
Orange cabs : 040-44454647 without ac Rs10/- , withac Rs12/- per km
Meeru cabs : 040 -44224422
Easy cabs : 040 43434343
Green cabs : 040 - 24606060 Rs 10 per km

call them and ask for correct price information