Thursday, July 16, 2009

track ur mobile

Got an interesting fact to share. Now a days each one of us carry Hi Fi
Mobile devices and always fear that it may be stolen.

Each mobile carries a unique IMEI i.e International Mobile Identity No
which can be used to track your mobile anywhere in the world.

This is how it works!!!!!!

1. Dial *#06# from your mobile.

2.Your mobile shows a unique 15 digit .

3.Note down this no anywhere but except your mobile as this is the no
which will help trace your mobile in case of a theft.

4.Once stolen you just have to mail this 15 digit IMEI no. to
cop@vsnl.net

5.No need to go to police.

6.Your Mobile will be traced within next 24 hrs via a complex system of
GPRS and internet.

7.You will find where your hand set is being operated even in case your
no is being changed.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Apartment for rent

a businessman met a beautiful girl and agreed to spend

the night with her for $500. They did their thing,

and, before he left, he told her that he did

secretary write a cheque and mail it to her, calling

the payment "RENT FOR APARTMENT."

>>

On the way to the office, he regretted what he had

done, realizing that the whole event had not been

worth the price. So he had his secretary send a cheque

for $250 and enclose the following typed note:

>>

"Dear Madam:

Enclosed find a cheque for $250 for rent of your

apartment. I am not sending the amount agreed upon,

because when I rented the place, I was under the

impression that:

#1 - it had never been occupied;

#2 - there was plenty of heat; and

#3 - it was small enough to make me feel cosy and at home.

However, I found out that:

#1 - it had been previously occupied,

#2 - there wasn ' t any heat, and

#3 - it was entirely too large."

Upon receipt of the note, the girl immediately

returned the cheque for $250 with the following note:

" Dear Sir:

#1 - I cannot understand how you could expect a

beautiful apartment to remain unoccupied indefinitely.

#2 - As for the heat, there is plenty of it, if you

know how to turn it on.

#3 - Regarding the space, the apartment is indeed of

regular size, but if you don ' t have enough furniture

to fill it, please do not blame the management.

So, Please send the rent in full or we will be forced

to contact your present landlady."

Accenture Recruits Siebel Professionals

Referrals Invited for Siebel Professionals!!!

In this time of volatility in world markets and in the global economy, we continue to seek and hire talent, through careful forethought. In the past, you have helped us recruit the best talent for Accenture, through Talent Scout, and now once again, you have an opportunity to refer your friends for the select job opportunities listed below.

Like before, your referrals could win you a bonus!

Key Open Positions:

Skill
Level
Experience
Location
Profile to be uploaded under
Siebel-Analytics
SSE
4 - 6 yrs
Mumbai
Siebel Analytics
Siebel-Analytics
TL
6 - 8 yrs
Bangalore
Siebel Analytics
Siebel-Configuration
SSE/TL/AM
4 - 10 yrs
Bangalore
Siebel Configuration
Siebel-Configuration
SSE/TL
4 - 8 yrs
Chennai
Siebel Configuration
Siebel-Enterprise Application Integration (eAI)
SSE
4 - 6 yrs
Chennai
Siebel EAI
Siebel-Enterprise Integration Management (EIM)
SSE/TL/AM
4 - 10 yrs
Bangalore
Siebel EIM
Siebel-Environment Management
AM
8 - 10 yrs
Bangalore
Siebel-Environment Management
Siebel-Integration
SSE
4 - 6 yrs
Bangalore
Siebel-Integration


How does one Refer??

Please visit https://idc.home.accenture.com/HR/Documents/CurrentOpening.xls to view the complete list of current open positions.
If your friend’s profile matches any of the mentioned requirements, log on to https://india.jobs.accenture.com/talentscout
Select the ‘Solutions workforce’ and upload your friend’s resume.
Once the profile is successfully uploaded – you would get an auto generated mail with a unique CID number for the candidate.
You can use the CID number to track the status of the referred candidate.

Regards
Talent Scout Team,
Delivery Centre for Technology in India


To preserve the strong professional reputation of the Company, shared by all employees, the Company independently verifies employment qualifications and references for all candidates for employment. We encourage all our employees to reinforce this message with the candidates they refer for opportunities within Accenture.
Please go through the Employee Referral policy available on the IDC portal – https://publishing.accenture.com/Policies/HR/RecruitingHiring/1075.htm

Curing Cancer Naturally

1. Every person has cancer cells in the body. These cancer cells do not

show up in the standard tests until they have multiplied to a few

billion. When doctors tell cancer patients that there are no more cancer

cells in their bodies after treatment, it just means the tests are unable

to detect the cancer cells because they have not reached the detectable

size.



2. Cancer cells occur between 6 to more than 10 times in a person's

lifetime.



3. When the person's immune system is strong the cancer cells will be

destroyed and prevented from multiplying and forming tumours.



4. When a person has cancer it indicates the person has multiple

nutritional deficiencies. These could be due to genetic, environmental,

food and lifestyle factors.



5. To overcome the multiple nutritional deficiencies, changing diet and

including supplements will strengthen the immune system.



6. Chemotherapy involves poisoning the rapidly-growing cancer cells and

also destroys rapidly-growing healthy cells in the bone marrow,

gastro-intestinal tract etc, and can cause organ damage, like liver,

kidneys, heart, lungs etc.



7. Radiation while destroying cancer cells also burns, scars and damages

healthy cells, tissues and organs.



8. Initial treatment with chemotherapy and radiation will often reduce

tumor size. However prolonged use of chemotherapy and radiation do not

result in more tumor destruction.



9. When the body has too much toxic burden from chemotherapy and

radiation the immune system is either compromised or destroyed, hence the

person can succumb to various kinds of infections and complications.



10. Chemotherapy and radiation can cause cancer cells to mutate and

become resistant and difficult to destroy. Surgery can also cause cancer

cells to spread to other sites.



11. An effective way to battle cancer is to starve the cancer cells by

not feeding it with the foods it needs to multiply.





WHAT CANCER CELLS FEED ON:



a. Sugar is a cancer-feeder. By cutting off sugar it cuts off one

important food supply to the cancer cells. Sugar substitutes like

NutraSweet, Equal,Spoonful, etc are made with Aspartame and it is

harmful. A better natural substitute would be Manuka honey or molasses

but only in very sma ll amounts. Table salt has a chemical added to make

it white in colour. Better alternative is Bragg's aminos or sea salt.



b. Milk causes the body to produce mucus, especially in the

gastro-intestinal tract. Cancer feeds on mucus. By cutting off milk and

substituting with unsweetened soy milk, cancer cells are being starved.



c. Cancer cells thrive in an acid environment. A meat-based diet

is acidic and it is best to eat fish, and a little chicken rather than

beef or pork. Meat also contains livestock antibiotics, growth hormones

and parasites, which are all harmful, especially to people with cancer.



d. A diet made of 80% fresh vegetables and juice, whole grains,

seeds, nuts and a little fruits help put the body into an alkaline environment.

About 20% can be from cooked food including beans. Fresh

vegetable juices provide live enzymes that are easily absorbed and reach

down to cellular levels within 15 minutes to nourish and enhance growth

of healthy cells. To obtain live enzymes for building healthy cells try

and drink fresh vegetable juice (most vegetables including bean sprouts)

and eat some raw vegetables 2 or 3 times a day. Enzymes are destroyed at

temperatures of 104 degrees F (40 degrees C).



e. Avoid coffee, tea, and chocolate, which have high caffeine.

Green tea is a better alternative and has cancer-fighting properties.

Water-best to drink purified water, or filtered, to avoid known toxins

and heavy metals in tap water. Distilled water is acidic, avoid it.



12. Meat protein is difficult to digest and requires a lot of digestive

enzymes. Undigested meat remaining in the intestines become putrefied and

leads to more toxic buildup.



13. Cancer cell walls have a tough protein covering. By refraining from

or eating less meat it frees more

enzymes to attack the protein walls of cancer cells and allows the body's

killer

cells to destroy the cancer cells..



14. Some supplements build up the immune system (IP6, Flor-ssence,

Essiac, anti-oxidants, vitamins, minerals, EFAs etc.) to enable the

body's own killer cells to destroy cancer cells. Other supplements like

vitamin E are known to cause apoptosis, or programmed cell death, the

body's normal method of disposing of damaged, unwanted, or unneeded

cells.



15. Cancer is a disease of the mind, body, and spirit. A proactive and

positive spirit will help the cancer warrior be a survivor. Anger,

unforgiveness and bitterness put the body into a stressful and acidic

environment. Learn to have a loving and forgiving spirit. Learn to relax

and enjoy life.



16. Cancer cells cannot thrive in an oxygenated environment. Exercising

daily, and deep breathing help to get more oxygen down to the cellular

level. Oxygen therapy is another means employed to destroy cancer cells.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Am I a Hindu? -- Uday Pai

Four years ago, I was flying from JFK NY Airport to SFO to attend a

meeting at Monterey, CA.

An American girl was sitting on the right side, near window seat.

It indeed was a long journey - it would take nearly seven hours!



I was surprised to see the young girl reading a Bible - unusual of

young Americans! (Later I came to know that September 11 has changed

mind-set of lot of US citizens. They suddenly turned religious, it

seemed.) After some time she smiled and we had few acquaintances talk.

I told her that I am from India.



Then suddenly the girl asked: "What's your faith?"

"What?" I didn't understand the question.

"I mean, what's your religion? Are you a Christian? Or a Muslim?"

"No!" I replied, "I am neither Christian nor Muslim".

Apparently she appeared shocked to listen to that.

"Then who are you…?"

"I am a Hindu", I said.

She looked at me as if she is seeing a caged animal.

She could not understand what I was talking about.



A common man in Europe or US knows about Christianity and Islam, as

they are the leading religions of the world today.



But a Hindu, what?

I explained to her - I am born to a Hindu father and Hindu mother.

Therefore, I am a Hindu by birth.



"Who is your prophet?" she asked.

"We don't have a prophet," I replied.

"What's your Holy Book?"

"We don't have a single Holy Book, but we have hundreds and thousands

of philosophical and sacred scriptures," I replied.

"Oh, come on…at least tell me who is your God?"

"What do you mean by that?"



"Like we have Yahweh and Muslims have Allah - don't you have a God?"



I thought for a moment. Muslims and Christians believe one God (Male

God) who created the world and takes an interest in the humans who

inhabit it. Her mind is conditioned with that kind of belief.



According to her (or anybody who doesn't know about Hinduism), a

religion need to have one Prophet, one Holy book and one God. The mind

is so conditioned and rigidly narrowed down to such a notion that

anything else is not acceptable. I understood her perception and

concept about faith. You can't compare Hinduism with any of the

present leading religions where you have to believe in one concept of

god.



I tried to explain to her: "You can believe in one god and he can be a

Hindu. You may believe in multiple deities and still you can be a

Hindu. What's more - you may not believe in god at all, still you can

be a Hindu. An atheist can also be a Hindu."

This sounded very crazy to her.



She couldn't imagine a religion so unorganized, still surviving for

thousands of years, even after onslaught from foreign forces.



"I don't understand…but it seems very interesting. Are you religious?"

What can I tell to this American girl?



I said: "I do not go to temple regularly. I do not make any regular

rituals. I have learned some of the rituals in my younger days. I

still enjoy doing it sometimes."

"Enjoy? Are you not afraid of God?"



"God is a friend. No- I am not afraid of God. Nobody has made any

compulsions on me to perform these rituals regularly."



She thought for a while and then asked: "Have you ever thought of

converting to any other religion?"



"Why should I? Even if I challenge some of the rituals and faith in

Hinduism, nobody can convert me from Hinduism. Because, being a Hindu

allows me to think independently and objectively, without

conditioning… I remain as a Hindu never by force, but choice." I told

her that Hinduism is not a religion, but a set of beliefs and

practices. It is not a religion like Christianity or Islam because it

is not founded by any one person or does not have an organized

controlling body like the Church or the Order, I added. There is no

institution or authority.



"So, you don't believe in God?" she wanted everything in black and white.



"I didn't say that. I do not discard the divine reality. Our

scripture, or Sruthis or Smrithis - Vedas and Upanishads or the Gita -

say God might be there or he might not be there. But we pray to that

supreme abstract authority (Para Brahma) that is the creator of this

universe."



"Why can't you believe in one personal God?"



"We have a concept - abstract - not a personal god. The concept or

notion of a personal God, hiding behind the clouds of secrecy, telling

us irrational stories through few men whom he sends as messengers,

demanding us to worship him or punish us, does not make sense. I don't

think that God is as silly as an autocratic emperor who wants others

to respect him or fear him." I told her that such notions are just

fancies of less educated human imagination and fallacies, adding that

generally ethnic religious practitioners in Hinduism believe in

personal gods. The entry level Hinduism has over-whelming

superstitions too. The philosophical side of Hinduism negates all

superstitions.



"Good that you agree God might exist. You told that you pray. What is

your prayer then?"

"Loka Samastha Sukino Bhavantu. Om Shanti, Shanti, Shanti,"

"Funny," she laughed, "What does it mean?"



"May all the beings in all the worlds be happy. Om Peace, Peace, Peace."

"Hmm…very interesting. I want to learn more about this religion. It is

so democratic, broad-minded and free…" she exclaimed.



"The fact is Hinduism is a religion of the individual, for the

individual and by the individual with its roots in the Vedas and the

Bhagavad-Gita. It is all about an individual approaching a personal

God in an individual way according to his temperament and inner

evolution - it is as simple as that."



"How does anybody convert to Hinduism?"



"Nobody can convert you to Hinduism, because it is not a religion, but

a set of beliefs and practices. Everything is acceptable in Hinduism

because there is no single authority or organization either to accept

it or to reject it or to oppose it on behalf of Hinduism."



I told her - if you look for meaning in life, don't look for it in

religions; don't go from one cult to another or from one guru to the

next.



For a real seeker, I told her, Bible itself gives guidelines when it

says "Kingdom of God is within you." I reminded her of Christ's

teaching about the love that we have for each other. That is where you

can find the meaning of life.



Loving each and every creation of the God is absolute and real.

'Isavasyam idam sarvam' Isam (the God) is present (inhabits) here

everywhere - nothing exists separate from the God, because God is

present everywhere. Respect every living being and non-living things

as God. That's what Hinduism teaches you.



Hinduism is referred to as Sanathana Dharma, the eternal faith. It is

based on the practice of Dharma, the code of life. The most important

aspect of Hinduism is being truthful to oneself. Hinduism has no

monopoly on ideas. It is open to all. Hindus believe in one God (not a

personal one) expressed in different forms. For them, God is timeless

and formless entity.



Ancestors of today's Hindus believe in eternal truths and cosmic laws

and these truths are opened to anyone who seeks them. But there is a

section of Hindus who are either superstitious or turned fanatic to

make this an organized religion like others. The British coin the word

"Hindu" and considered it as a religion.



I said: "Religions have become an MLM (multi-level- marketing)

industry that has been trying to expand the market share by

conversion. The biggest business in today's world is Spirituality.

Hinduism is no exception…"



I am a Hindu primarily because it professes Non-violence - "Ahimsa

Paramo Dharma" - Non violence is the highest duty. I am a Hindu

because it doesn't conditions my mind with any faith system.

Friday, July 3, 2009

Bosch recruitment drive

Dear Colleague,

We are planning the recruitment of a new batch of Graduate Apprentice for the year 2009-10. The first step of the selection process is the written test.
Accordingly we have scheduled a written test (covering verbal ability, analytical ability , Engineering knowledge) :

On : 12.07.09 (Sunday)
At : General canteen (Main Complex)
Bosch Limited
Hosur Road, Adugodi
Bangalore

Reporting Time: 12.00 pm
Duration of reporting formalities and written test : 5 hours

Results will be announced on the same day.

A)Requirements :

1. The eligible candidate for the written test should be an Engineer – BE / BTech

Mechanical and related branches : Mechanical / Automobile / Mechatronics /
Industrial Engineering & Management / Industrial Production /
Manufacturing Science & Engineering
Non-mechanical branches : Electrical & Electronics, Electronics & Instrumentation

2. With 60% and above aggregate in BE / BTech and good academic record (First Class through out & in the first attempt)
3. Only Engineering Batch 2005 - 2009 ( persons expecting 8th semester results may also apply)
4. Possess excellent analytical skills and Communication skills
5. Engineers with experince will not be eligible.


Hurry, share this with all your friends who are interested in undergoing The Apprenticeship Training with Bosch Limited !

B)Instructions to the eligible candidate :

1) The candidate should bring the following while reporting for the written test :
- Print out of the filled in Bosch Application form attached below :



- copy of their latest CV
- 3 recent photographs
- Photocopies of all marks cards / certificates / testimonials (10th, 12th, Dip / B.E / B.Tech / other professional qualifications)
- Printout of this e-mail.

If the candidate has participated in the selection process with Bosch in the last 6 months, they are not eligible to apply now.


2) The candidate should confirm presence for the written test by sending in the attached Application Form duly filled in to the mail id Bosch_hr@in.bosch.com .
3) Subject line of the mail should be Bosch Application Form - GA2009 only.
4) Reference code given in the "Position applied for" field in the application form should not be changed.
5) Last date for receipt of the filled in application form is 06.07.2009.

Please note :
1) Candidates must meet the above requirements and follow the instructions to be considered for the selection process.

2) Graduate Apprenticeship is a statutory training program as per The Apprentices Act, 1961.
The training is a for a period of ONE year only.


Kind Regards / Mit freundlichen Grüßen
HRL-M Team
Bosch_hr@in.bosch.com

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

increasing the logout time in websphere admin console

If you are using WebSphere Network Deployment (and you should be) edit this attribute in the following file on the Network Deployment machine:C:\Program Files\IBM\WebSphere\AppServer\profiles\Dmgr01\config\cells\NetworkDeploymentservernameCell01\applications\isclite.ear\deployments\isclite\deployment.xmlSet the attribute invalidationTimeout to the desired value, in minutes, where the maximum value is -1 (do not time out)

UnHappy Employees

A Difficult Judgment

In a small town, a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to a Temple. The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.
Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground.
The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation and prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.
In its reply to the court, the temple staff and devotes denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop's demise.
As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented: "I don't know how I'm going to decide this case, but it appears from the paperwork, we have a bar owner who believes in the power of prayer and we have an entire temple and its devotees that doesn't."

Two Line Romantic pharses

WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKED FOR A TWO-LINE RHYME WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE


This is the winner

My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife,
Marrying you screwed up my life.

I see your face when I am dreaming.
That's why I always wake up screaming.

Kind, intelligent, loving and hot;
This describes everything you are not.

I thought that I could love no other --
that is until I met your brother.

Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you.
But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty and so is your head.

I want to feel your sweet embrace;
But don't take that paper bag off your face.

I love your smile, your face, and your eyes --
Damn, I'm good at telling lies!

My love, you take my breath away.
What have you stepped in to smell this way?

My feelings for you no words can tell,
Except for maybe 'Go to hell.'

What inspired this amorous rhyme?
Two parts tequila, one part limeJ

Marraige Life Story

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly. She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why? I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man!

That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; I had lost my heart to a lovely girl called Dew. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, 30% shares of my company and the car. She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Dew so dearly.

Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Dew. When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a months time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.. She requested that everyday for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy.

Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Dew about my wife s divorce conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully. My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mummy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset..

I put her down outside the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest.. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Dew about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily. Suddenly it hit me; she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart.

Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head. Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mum out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. I drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... I walked upstairs. Dew opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Dew, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished. Then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Dew, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other any more.. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death does us apart.

Dew seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote:
'I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart'

The small details of our lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, the property, the bank balance that matters. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

Thursday, June 11, 2009

Virtual Pool Program (VPP) another form of sabbatical.

Satyam started offer Virtual Pool Program (vpp) for its employees.

VPP : Is keeping the bench staff into sabbatical.Giving some amount of salary and keeping them in pay rolls of the company.

Satyam is offering to employee following only.

1.Basic salary (satyam has very less basic ie 1/3 of your gross is basic)
2.internet allowance (Rs250 per month)
3.This is done for 6 months to less level people and 4 months for big people.
4.Insurance will be covered to them in VPP

what does satyam gain?

1.lowering employee strength.
2.paying basic reduces its expenditure very less.
ex ) Consider 7000 employees selected for sabbatical then satyam would save around

7000 * 30000(on average salary saved per employee) * 12 months = Rs2,52,00,00,000
i suppose it saves 252 crores.
3.employees selected will not be coming to office so the operating cost etc also will be reduced.

This way Satyam which is in profits by the latest news which came will be more profitable.
i thing Markets will take this as a positive news and raise up again.

My personal target for satyam is from 100 -125rs

Advice on Buying a flat in Nizampet road and bachupally - II

Now it is the best time to buy flat in bachupally as the rates are significantly fallen down .

1.One can get good apartments at 1600rs per sqft or even less.

2.Some people are even telling that they will get apartments at 1100rs sqft if you pay buy cash.

3.80ft road is laid very fast.in 1 month you see the whole stretch completed.

4.Manjeera water pipelines are also been laid

5.maytas which got stopped after Raju's issue may also start work soon.

6.Indu city also started its development work.

also read : http://emailforwardsindia.blogspot.com/2008/09/advice-on-buying-flat-in-nizampet-road.html

Thursday, June 4, 2009

Configuring BIRT..issue "There are errors evaluating script"

The following items have errors:
ReportDesign (id = 1):
+ There are errors evaluating script "importPackage(Packages.com.ibm.tivoli.maximo.report.script);

mxReportScriptContext = MXReportScriptContext.initialize(reportContext);
mxReportScriptContext.setDefaultLogLevel("DEBUG");
mxReportScriptContext.setDefaultLogFile("c:/temp/asset.txt");".

Table (id = 7):
+ There are errors evaluating script "maximoDataSet = MXReportDataSetProvider.create(this.getDataSource().getName(), this.getName());
maximoDataSet.open();

var sqlText = "select assetid, siteid, assetnum, description, location, binnum, parent, assettype, "
+ " status, priority, itemnum, islinear, installdate, manufacturer, "
+ " assettag, budgetcost, ytdcost, totalcost, warrantyexpdate,purchaseprice, "
+ " replacecost, moved, changedate, failurecode, conditioncode from asset "
+ " where " + params["where"];

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We did some silly mistakes because of which we were getting this error.Our mistake was we were not using the recomended JDK version.Please use JJDK1.5 version to solve this issue

Friday, May 29, 2009

Balakrishna jokes

Balayya practising CHIRU's dialogue (TAGORE)..

ippativaraku na cinemalu 440...
andhulo HITLU 4..
Floplu 40..
Utterfloplu 140..
Varam Adinavi 80..
Varam kuda adanivi 60..
Fans matrame chudanivi 20..
Ika migilinavi 16..
Vatilo asalu release kaanivi 14..
migilina 2 sagamlo apesaru..
natho cinema theesi suicide chesukunna nirmathalu 4..
cinema chustu chachina fans 4232..
Chala inka amina kavala?



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FLASH NEWS:

King of POP and World's best dancer Micheal Jackson was arrested by cops on accusing him on attempt to Suicide..You know the reason y?
.
.
.
.
he watched the dance video of balayya..




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Balayya is remaking TITANIC as

"Samudram lo Sanyasi". In the end he doesn't die but swims across the ocean with heroine in one hand and....

.
.
.
.
.
.
TITANIC on other hand.

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Kannayya ur son is dead.

hearing this kannayya jumps

from 50th floor..

at 35th floor he realizes "i dont have a son"

at 25th floor "i'm not married"

at 3rd floor "SH*T I'm not kannayya. i am Balayya..

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ATHADU DIALOGUE:

Nuvvu padivelu ichina S.I. ki nenu laksha rupayalu istha


Balayya cinema chusi poyadani raasestadu..

polam kavalo pranam kavalo telchuko.



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City mottam godavaga undi
bayataku raku
Buses, C.D shops tagala pedutunnaru..
enduko telusa "MITRUDU" audio vine ekamga 108 mandi 108 lo hospital palayyaru..




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Drona lo priyamani BIKINI - Cinema FLOP.
Billa lo Anushka BIKINI- Cinema AVG.
Heroines tho labham ledani MITRUDU lo mana Balayya BIKINI lo vastunnadu.
Enjoy!




-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Balayya interview-

Interviewer: Jnr NTR ki accident enduku ayyindi?

Balayya: While driving, maavadu brake kotta boyi thoda kottadu dhoola theeripoyindi na kodukki



enjoy more balayya jokes @

Balayya Jokes

Gift--Lastforever

One man got a child > > > ..... ....
.... ..... ....
....
1 year later - man asked the child-what to gift you?
...
... ... ...
child said
ping pong ball
....
...
... ... 2'nd b'day- Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball ....
... .....
....
3rd b'day
Father- what gift you want? Son - ping pong ball
...
....
...
.... 4th bday Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
....
...
.... ...
...
...
5th bday Father- what gift you want? Son - ping pong ball ....
....
... ... ...
...
....
....
6thb'day Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
.....
... ....
... ... ...
....
....
>.......................................................................... .. .........
..................................
24th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
...
.... ... ...
....
....
he got married
at honeymoon
Wife-what do u want?
Husband-ping pong ball
....
...
... .... 25th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
....
...
.... ...
...
...
.... ...
26th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
....
....
.... ... ...
27th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball ....
....
.... ...
...
....
>.......................................................................... ..
........
........................................................................
his kids become 15 yrs old
...
...
..... ...
40th bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
..... ...
....
.... ....
41st b'day kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
.....
...
....
....
... ... 42nd bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball .... ....
.....
....
.....
>.......................................................................... ..
......... >.......................................................................... ..
........
79th b'day
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
...
....
....
...

Before his death
all the people from whom he took ping pong ball
(Like his Wife, kids and all others) came to him and asked
Why did you ask for a ping pong ball all the time? ....
....
.....
He said give me a ping pong ball then I will tell you....
....
....
... Then those people gave him a ping pong ball
....
..... .....
.... ....
.... ...
..... ...
...
....
....
...
...
... ...
...
...
....
... ...
... ...
...
....
....
...
...
During those last moments when he is about to die
everyone reached him and asked
tell us why did you ask for ping pong ball always?
he said.
.....
.... .....
.....
.....
....
.....
....
.... ....
....
....
....
....
....
..... ....
....
.....
....
....
....
.... ....
....
....
....
....
....
.... ....
....
....
.....
....
....
.... I asked for a ping pong ball on my every b'day because
...
.... ...
...
...
....
...
...
... ...
...
...
.....
...
....
... ...
....
...
....
...
...
... ...
...
And he Died... before he could tell the Reason...
What a tragedy! What a tragedy!!!

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Managment lesson - Manager Should talk first

A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are
on their way to a meeting. On their way through a
park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the
lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says, "Normally,
one is granted three wishes but as you are three, I
will allow one wish each" So the eager senior manager
shouted, I want the first wish. I want to
be in the Bahamas, on a fast boat and have no worries.
"Pfufffff, and he was gone. Now the junior manager
could not keep quiet and shouted " I
want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of
food and cocktails. "Pfufffff, and he was also gone.
The boss calmly said,"I want these two idiots back in
the office after lunch"

Lesson V- "Always allow the bosses to speak first."



More managment lessons

Managment Lesson ..Speak carefully

There were these 4 guys, a Russian, a German, an
British and a French, who found this small genie
bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared.
Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the
bottle, he said, "Next to you all are 4 swimming
pools, I will give each of you
a wish. When you run towards the pool and jump, you
shout what you want the pool of water to become, then
your wish will come true." The French wanted to start.
He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted "WINE".

The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine. The
Frenchman was so happy
swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the
Russian's turn, he did the same and shouted," VODKA"
and immersed himself into a pool of
vodka.

The German was next and he jumped and shouted, "BEER".
He was so contented with his beer pool. The last is
the British. He was running
towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana
peel. He slipped towards the pool and shouted,
SHIT!!!!!!!........."
Lesson IV - Think twice before you say something,
because sometimes what you say accidentally does
happen.


 More Managment lessons

Managment Lessson - Never Insult

An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane
on the way to LA when the American turned to the
Japanese and asked, "What kind of -ese are you?" The
Japanese confused, replied, "Sorry but I don't
understand
what you mean." The American repeated, "What kind of
-ese are you?" Again, the Japanese was confused over
the question. The American, now
irritated, then yelled, "What kind of -ese are
you...Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese!,
etc......???" The Japanese then replied, "Oh, I
am a Japanese."


A while later the Japanese turned to the American and
asked What kind of 'key' was he. The American,
frustrated, yelled, "What do you mean what kind of
'-key' am I?!" The Japanese said, "Are you a Yankee,
donkee, or monkee?"

Lesson III - Never insult anyone.


More managment lessons


Managment lessons -- money plays

A crusty old man walks into a bank and says to the
teller at the window:

"I want to open a damn checking account." To which the
astonished woman replies: "I beg your pardon, sir; I
must have misunderstood you. What
did you say?" "Listen up bitch! I said, I want to open
a damn checking account right now!" "I'm very sorry
sir, but we do not tolerate that kind of language in
this bank." Having said this, the teller leaves the
window and goes over to the bank manager to tell him
about her problem
customer.

They both return and the manager asks the old geezer:
"What seems to be the problem here?" "There's no damn
problem, sonny," the
elderly man says. "I just won 50 million bucks in the
damn lottery and I want to open a damn checking
account in this damn bank!" "I see," says
the manager thoughtfully. "And you're saying that this
bitch here is giving you a hard time?"

Lesson II - If you are RICH, you can get away with
almost anything.


More managment lessons

Managment Lessons-- BOSS

A young executive was leaving the office at 6 p.m.then
he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with
a piece of paper in his hand. "Listen," said the CEO,
"this is a very sensitive and important document, and
my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?"
"Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the
machine on, inserted the paper,
and pressed the start button. "Excellent, excellent!"
said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the
machine. "I just need one copy."


Lesson I - Never, never assume that your BOSS knows
everything.


More Managment lessons




Managment lessons

Little Krishna in Nick

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

best short story



A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible.
The instructions were : The short story had to contain the following three words:
1: Religion,
2: Sexuality,
3: Mystry.

Below is the only A+ short story in the entire class....



"Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder Who did it".

Perfect boss



There were about 70 scientists working on a very hectic project. All of them were really frustrated due to the pressure of work and the demands of their boss but everyone was loyal to him and did not think of quitting their job.

One day, one scientist came to his boss and told him, "Sir, I have promised my children that I will take them to the exhibition going on in our township so I want to leave the office at 5:30 pm."

His boss replied, "OK, You're permitted to leave the office early today."

The Scientist started working.. He continued his work after lunch. As usual, he got involved to such an extent that he looked at his watch only when he felt he was close to completion. The time was 8.30 PM.

Suddenly he remembered the promise he had made to his children.

He looked for his boss but he was not there. Having told him in the morning himself, he closed everything and left for home. Deep within himself, he was feeling guilty for having disappointed his children. He reached home. The children were not there.

His wife alone was sitting in the hall and reading magazines. The situation was explosive; any talk would boomerang on him. His wife asked him, "Would you like to have coffee or shall I straight away serve dinner if you are hungry?"

The man replied, "If you would like to have coffee, I too will have but what about the children?"

Hi wife replied, "You don't know? Your boss came here at 5.15 PM and has taken the children to the exhibition."

What had really happened was ... The boss who granted him permission was observing him working seriously at 5.00 PM. He thought to himself, this person will not leave the work, but if he has promised his children they should enjoy the visit to exhibition. So he took the lead in taking them to exhibition.

The boss does not have to do it every time. But once it is done, loyalty is established.

That is why all the scientists at Thumba continued to work under their boss even though the stress was tremendous.

By the way, can you hazard a guess as to who the boss was?

He was none other than the mastermind behind India 's successful nuclear weapons and missiles program.

Dr. APJ Abdul Kalam, Former President of India .

Mahindra moves satyam employees to techmahindra

Mahindra may move some satyam employees to other groups with in mahindra group.It is learn t from sources that recruitment in techmahindra is stopped and the Hr of techmahindra are told to recruit people from satyam.This will bring mutual benefit for both companies,Techmahindra will save money by not paying for recruitment etc and satyam will lessen their bench strength.Mahindra can move employees if interested to other companies in the group.

Mahindra may rebrand Satyam

Mahindra group has started searching for a good name for fraud hit IT company Satyam.They may change name , logo and tag line of the company.The re branding exercise of the company will start as soon as the new name is finalized.Re branding exercise may include roadshows,paper advertisements,media meetings by which company will get a new start.Mahindra already started the process of integrating satyam slowly into its umbrella.

worlds smallest monkey


A rare newborn albino Pygmy Marmoset monkey perches on a zookeeper's thumb at

Froso Zoo in Ostersund, Sweden.



The Pygmy Marmoset, which lives in the upper Amazon basin in South America, is the world's smallest monkey and reaches 35 cm ( 13.7 inches) in length and weighs up to 3.5 ounces at maturity.

Friday, May 1, 2009

life ..nice quote

rental agreement format india

RENTAL AGREEMENT

This Rental Agreement is made and executed on the ________________________________
_____________________________at XXX location by and between:

Sri ____________________________________ S/o________________________________
Age________________________
Hereinafter called the TENANT which expression shall mean and include his heirs, legal
representatives, successors, executors, administrators and assignees.
IN FAVOUR OF
Sri. ___________________________________________S/o________________________
Age ____________________.






Where as the above named owner is the absolute owner and possessor of _________(Address of the property) being a two bedroom flat including Car Parking. Where as the above named owner is residing at __________(Location) and intended to offer the schedule premises on rent for which the above named tenant approached the owner and requested to give the premises on rent to him for which the owner agreed to the following terms and conditions:
1. It is agreed between the parties herein that the rent for the schedule premises is Rs.____ (Rupees __________(in words) Rupees only)
2. The tenancy starts from ____(date) a period of eleven months as per English Calendar and expires by ____( date).
3. The tenant has deposited a sum of Rs. _______ with the owner towards security deposit, which is refundable by the owner at the time of vacating the schedule premises by the tenant, and the said security deposit will not carry any interest.
4. The tenant shall pay the monthly rent every month as per English Calendar on or before 10th of
the month and the tenant shall not keep any rent in arrears including hire charges for fixtures. In the event of Tenant falling in arrears in payment of rent and hire charges for fixtures, the owner is at liberty to terminate this rental agreement and demand the Tenant to vacate the schedule premises without any further notice. The present agreement which is being executed for a period of 11 months shall be renewed with the mutual consent of both the parties with further terms and conditions as agreed between them if agreed to confirm further 10% rent raise every year of rent prevailing at that time is agreed now or market correction at that point of time new agreement.
5. The present accommodation is given only for residential purpose and that the tenant shall not use for any commercial or other activity. It is agreed by the Tenant that he shall not sublet or induct any third person.
6. The Tenant shall utilize the premises and shall maintain the same in a neat and habitable condition without causing any damages and also shall not store any prohibited goods or explosives which shall cause danger to the premises.
7. It is agreed between the parties herein that the present rental agreement can be terminated at the instance of either parties by giving one month prior notice even before the expiry of the rental agreement.

8. The Tenant shall permit the owner to inspect the schedule premises at all reasonable times without any objection. The Tenant shall obtain a valid rental receipt from the owner only for the rents tendered.
9. The Tenant shall pay the necessary electricity, water charges and maintenance as per Association of Apartment besides the above rent as per the consumption and shall not keep any arrears with the either electricity department or with Hyderabad Metropolitan Water and Sewerage Board and Apartment Association and in the event of the unpaid bills being accumulated the owner shall deduct the same from the deposit at the time of taking over the vacant peaceful possession of the schedule premises. The Tenant is also bound to reimburse the damages, expenses etc., that may arise on account of any fixtures or any damage caused to the premises which shall be deducted from the deposit given by the Tenant, expenses incurred by the landlord above the deposit shall be reimbursed by the Tenant at the time of vacating and handing over the peaceful possession of the schedule premises. The tenant shall not rear pet dogs etc., without prior permission of the Association.
10. The Tenant shall not alter or modify the schedule premises without the prior written consent of the owner. He shall also adhear to the rules and regulation of the Association.
11. Any breach of the above terms by the Tenant, the owner is at liberty to proceed for eviction of the Tenant immediately without any further notice and the Tenant shall pay double the rent from the date on which he becomes defaulter.

IN WITNESS WHEREOF the above named parties to this agreement have signed this RENTAL AGREEMENT with their own free will and consent on this day, month and year as mentioned above.

WITNESS

1. TENANT






2. LANDLORD






LIST OF FIXTURES: NEW CONDITION
1) Tube Lights to all rooms : __ Nos
2) Ceiling Fans __ Nos. to all rooms
3) Washbasins - __ Nos.
4) 100watts bulbs – __ No.
The tenant shall replace all the fixtures and fittings by himself at his own cost.


if u like this just leave a comment

Satyam employees current status

After techmahindra took up Satyam many satyamites are confident that lay offs will take place.All those who are waiting for project (bench people)
are confident that they will be the primary target.Satyamites who are in wait and watch mode when the whole satyam episode took place started moving fast.They already are waiting for job calls/interviews
and some are holding offers from other companies.Satyamites who are earning more than 10 lakhs can also be primary target these are the middle management people.Many middle level management people started resigning,
this means that they are primary target and they dont want to be sacked.
I think TechMahindra has a good target of reducing atleast Satyam's workforce by 25%.
They can either move some of them to TechMahindra or directly sack them.
But the best thing would be to find some projects for them.
If sacking starts we can hear it might be either forced resignations or direct pink slips.
Many ladies are willing to quit the company before the sacking starts for their personal reasons.
I can see many young freshers who joined the company writing the bank exams/govt exams etc and also applying for higher education abroad and India.Hope for the best in the interest of satyamites.