Sunday, September 14, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Letter to bill gates from banta
Dear Mr. Bill Gates,
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.
9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?
Best regards,
Banta Singh
This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.
1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.
2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.
3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.
4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.
5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.
6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??
7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.
8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.
9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?
Best regards,
Banta Singh
God gives u maximum
A NICE LESSON
Once a boy went to a shop with his mother.
The shop keeper looked at the small cute child and showed him a bottle with sweets and said 'Dear Child..u can take the sweets...
But the child didnt take.
The shop keeper was surprised.. such a small child he is and why is he not taking the sweets from the bottle. Again he said take the sweets...
Now the mother also heard that and said.. take the sweets dear..Yet he didnt take...
The shopkeeper seeing the child not taking the sweets... he himself took the sweets and gave to the child. The child was happy to get two hands full of sweets.
While returning home the Mother asked the child...
Why didnt you take the sweets, when the shop keeper told you to take?..
Can you guess the response:
Child replies... Mom! my hands are very small and if i take the sweets i can only take few.. but now you see when uncle gave with his big hands.... how many more sweets i got!
Moral: When we take we may get little but when God gives...HE gives us more beyond our expectations. ..more than what we can hold..!!Keep Smiling..!
Once a boy went to a shop with his mother.
The shop keeper looked at the small cute child and showed him a bottle with sweets and said 'Dear Child..u can take the sweets...
But the child didnt take.
The shop keeper was surprised.. such a small child he is and why is he not taking the sweets from the bottle. Again he said take the sweets...
Now the mother also heard that and said.. take the sweets dear..Yet he didnt take...
The shopkeeper seeing the child not taking the sweets... he himself took the sweets and gave to the child. The child was happy to get two hands full of sweets.
While returning home the Mother asked the child...
Why didnt you take the sweets, when the shop keeper told you to take?..
Can you guess the response:
Child replies... Mom! my hands are very small and if i take the sweets i can only take few.. but now you see when uncle gave with his big hands.... how many more sweets i got!
Moral: When we take we may get little but when God gives...HE gives us more beyond our expectations. ..more than what we can hold..!!Keep Smiling..!
How Female Sexual Arousal Works in scientifical way
The female sexual response is dependant on what goes on in the mind and body. Several systems in the body are involved including the nervous, endocrine or hormonal, cardiovascular, respiratory, and of course the reproductive system. There are five stages of arousal that are associated with physiological and psychological changes; desire, excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution.
Stage 1: Desire
The first stage is desire, which stimulates sexual excitement and sexual activity. Desire occurs in our minds and bodies when responding sexually to a variety of stimuli including sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, movement, fantasy, and memory. These stimuli can create a strong wanting for sexual stimulation. Societal and cultural values influence the range of stimuli that provoke sexual desire, and ideals about the stimuli considered "sexual" or "attractive" can vary greatly between cultures and among subsets of a single culture. In addition, each individual reacts to sets of stimuli that are based on his or her own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Stage 2: Excitement
The second stage is excitement, which is the body's physical response to the stimuli during the desire phase. The excitement stage, for some women, may be achieved with very little physical or mental stimulation. However, other women may require significant intimacy, physical stimulation, or fantasy because it can take longer for them to achieve full arousal. Induced by emotional changes, the excitement stage typically includes: an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration; breasts increase in size and the nipples become erect; the vagina lengthens and widens; the clitoris swells and enlarges; the labia swell and separate; the vagina becomes lubricated; and the uterus rises slightly while the uterine and cervical glands secrete mucus to lubricate the vagina. With the increase of blood flow, a woman will experience heightened sensitivity as the vaginal swelling and lubrication occurs. Vaginal lubrication is the key indicator of sexual excitement.
Stage 3: Plateau
The third stage is called plateau. It is the highest moment of sexual excitement before the fourth stage, which is called orgasm. As long as physical or mental stimulation continues during full arousal, the plateau stage can be achieved. This stage can be achieved, lost, and regained several times without the occurrence of orgasm with the following physiological changes: heart rate and breathing rate further increase; blood pressure rises even more; muscle tension increases; the clitoris withdraws; the Bartholin's glands lubricate; the areolae around the nipples become larger; the labia continues to swell; the uterus tips to stand high in the abdomen; and the lower vagina swells, narrows and tightens.
Stage 4: Orgasm
The fourth stage is orgasm, which occurs at the peak of the plateau stage. At the moment of orgasm, the sexual tension that has been building throughout the body is released, and the body releases chemicals called endorphins, which causes a sense of well-being. The intensity of an orgasm(s) can vary among women and varies from one sexual experience to another. Orgasm may involve intense spasm and loss of awareness, or it may be signaled by as little as a sigh or subtle relaxation. Women are capable of having multiple orgasms, which means moving immediately from orgasm back into the plateau stage and back to the orgasm stage again. During this stage the heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure all reach their highest peak. Also, there is a loss of muscle control or spasms that involve synchronized contractions of the vaginal and abdominal muscles that, when released with endorphins, cause extremely intense pleasure. The uterus, vagina, anus, and other pelvic muscles contract five to twelve times at 0.8-second intervals.
Stage 5: Resolution
The final phase, after the orgasm stage, is called resolution. During this stage, the heart rate and blood pressure slow below normal but then return to normal soon afterward. As the blood flows away from the vagina, blood vessels dilate to drain the pelvic tissues. The breasts and areolae shrink in size and the nipples lose their erection. The clitoris resumes its position prior to arousal and shrinks slightly. The labia returns to normal size and position, the vagina relaxes, the cervix opens to help semen travel up into the uterus but then closes approximately 20 - 30 minutes after orgasm and the uterus lowers into the upper vagina region. As everything gets back to its pre-arousal state, there is a loss of muscle tension and an increase in relaxation and drowsiness.
Stage 1: Desire
The first stage is desire, which stimulates sexual excitement and sexual activity. Desire occurs in our minds and bodies when responding sexually to a variety of stimuli including sight, sound, smell, touch, taste, movement, fantasy, and memory. These stimuli can create a strong wanting for sexual stimulation. Societal and cultural values influence the range of stimuli that provoke sexual desire, and ideals about the stimuli considered "sexual" or "attractive" can vary greatly between cultures and among subsets of a single culture. In addition, each individual reacts to sets of stimuli that are based on his or her own thoughts, feelings, and experiences.
Stage 2: Excitement
The second stage is excitement, which is the body's physical response to the stimuli during the desire phase. The excitement stage, for some women, may be achieved with very little physical or mental stimulation. However, other women may require significant intimacy, physical stimulation, or fantasy because it can take longer for them to achieve full arousal. Induced by emotional changes, the excitement stage typically includes: an increase in heart rate, blood pressure, and respiration; breasts increase in size and the nipples become erect; the vagina lengthens and widens; the clitoris swells and enlarges; the labia swell and separate; the vagina becomes lubricated; and the uterus rises slightly while the uterine and cervical glands secrete mucus to lubricate the vagina. With the increase of blood flow, a woman will experience heightened sensitivity as the vaginal swelling and lubrication occurs. Vaginal lubrication is the key indicator of sexual excitement.
Stage 3: Plateau
The third stage is called plateau. It is the highest moment of sexual excitement before the fourth stage, which is called orgasm. As long as physical or mental stimulation continues during full arousal, the plateau stage can be achieved. This stage can be achieved, lost, and regained several times without the occurrence of orgasm with the following physiological changes: heart rate and breathing rate further increase; blood pressure rises even more; muscle tension increases; the clitoris withdraws; the Bartholin's glands lubricate; the areolae around the nipples become larger; the labia continues to swell; the uterus tips to stand high in the abdomen; and the lower vagina swells, narrows and tightens.
Stage 4: Orgasm
The fourth stage is orgasm, which occurs at the peak of the plateau stage. At the moment of orgasm, the sexual tension that has been building throughout the body is released, and the body releases chemicals called endorphins, which causes a sense of well-being. The intensity of an orgasm(s) can vary among women and varies from one sexual experience to another. Orgasm may involve intense spasm and loss of awareness, or it may be signaled by as little as a sigh or subtle relaxation. Women are capable of having multiple orgasms, which means moving immediately from orgasm back into the plateau stage and back to the orgasm stage again. During this stage the heart rate, breathing, and blood pressure all reach their highest peak. Also, there is a loss of muscle control or spasms that involve synchronized contractions of the vaginal and abdominal muscles that, when released with endorphins, cause extremely intense pleasure. The uterus, vagina, anus, and other pelvic muscles contract five to twelve times at 0.8-second intervals.
Stage 5: Resolution
The final phase, after the orgasm stage, is called resolution. During this stage, the heart rate and blood pressure slow below normal but then return to normal soon afterward. As the blood flows away from the vagina, blood vessels dilate to drain the pelvic tissues. The breasts and areolae shrink in size and the nipples lose their erection. The clitoris resumes its position prior to arousal and shrinks slightly. The labia returns to normal size and position, the vagina relaxes, the cervix opens to help semen travel up into the uterus but then closes approximately 20 - 30 minutes after orgasm and the uterus lowers into the upper vagina region. As everything gets back to its pre-arousal state, there is a loss of muscle tension and an increase in relaxation and drowsiness.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Intelligent Sardar
A Sardarji and his wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.
When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.. The Sardarji explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to the Sardarji, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use...
But we didn't use them', the Sardarji complains.
Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. 'The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.
But we didn't go to any of those shows,' sardarji complains again.
'Well, we have them, and you could have', the Manager replies. No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the sardarji replies 'But we didn't use it'. The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the Sardarji finally gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.
The Manager is surprised when the looks at the check.
'But sir,' he says, 'this check is only made out for $100.' 'That's right,' says the sardarji,
'I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife.'
'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.
'Well,' the Sardarji replies, 'she was here, and you could have.'
Naughty SMS
Wife reads a book and tells her husband: A bull fucks 3000 times a year. U don't do quarter of that!
Husband says: Does d book say that d bull fucks d same cow?
************ ********* ********* ********* ******
Gang of sardars broke a bank,
But instead of cash they found glasses of lassi.
Happily they drank lassi n left.
Next day's headlines:
But instead of cash they found glasses of lassi.
Happily they drank lassi n left.
Next day's headlines:
"SPERM BANK LOOTED".
************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *
Banta NE Suhag raat ko biwi se pucha: Kya tum VIRGIN ho?
Biwi: Ji, magar PEECHE se! Aur Tum?
Biwi: Ji, magar PEECHE se! Aur Tum?
Banta: Main bhi, magar aage se
************ ********* ********* ********* ******
************ ********* ********* ********* ******
VIRGIN AIRLINE's ad :
"TRY US"...
We are more experienced than our name suggests...! !"
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Why are condoms transparent?
Why are condoms transparent ?
.
.
.
Any Guesses?
.
.
.
Don't u know...
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
So that sperms can atleast enjoy the scene, even if their entry is
restricted.
.
.
.
Any Guesses?
.
.
.
Don't u know...
.
.
..
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
So that sperms can atleast enjoy the scene, even if their entry is
restricted.
Friday, August 29, 2008
religious boy friend and chemist father
A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The Chemist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
'Well,' he said, 'I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's 'the' night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack.'
The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree.
He begins the prayer, but continues praying with his head down for several minutes after everyone starts eating.
The girl leans over and says, 'You never told me that you were such a religious person.'
He leans over to her and says, 'You never told me that your father is a Chemist.'
virgin and pakistan cricket
Pakistan Cricket Board refuses Richard Branson's Virgin Airlines sponsorship!
Billionaire Virgin Business Group boss, Richard Branson
has offered to sponsor the Pakistan cricket team,
currently reeling after a string of tournament defeats.
However, the embattled Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) has
politely refused the generous multi-million- pound offer by the cricket-mad magnate.
As one harassed Board official snapped:
'We can't have 'VIRGIN' written on our shirts,
when we're getting fucked in every match!!
Billionaire Virgin Business Group boss, Richard Branson
has offered to sponsor the Pakistan cricket team,
currently reeling after a string of tournament defeats.
However, the embattled Pakistan Cricket Board (PCB) has
politely refused the generous multi-million- pound offer by the cricket-mad magnate.
As one harassed Board official snapped:
'We can't have 'VIRGIN' written on our shirts,
when we're getting fucked in every match!!
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Praja Rajyam ......Premey Lakshyam....Sevey maargam
Title: Praja Rajyam ......Premey Lakshyam....Sevey maargam
Cast: Chiranjeevi,Pawan kalyan,Nagababu,Harirama Jogayya
Story: Dr.Mitra & Allu Aravind
Dialogues: Paruchuri Brothers
Editing: Pawan Kalyan & Chiranjeevi
Music: Mega fans.
Screenplay & Direction : Allu Aravind
Producer: Chiranjeevi
Banner: Geetha Arts
Release Date: 26th August, 2008.
Not Chiranjeevi's usual fare,but not really unlike it.With the backdrop of a Poor Guy working hard for his family and Rose from "Ganji To Benz", he still mouths witty filmy lines, pulls faces and shows pathetic expressions in his characteristic style. Read on.
Plot Chiranjeevi was born in a poor family where his father is the Constable. His Mother got married at the age of 14 and gives birth to him at the age of 15.From then chiranjeevi worked hard and carried the responsibilities of the whole family on his own shoulders.There are many twists in the story and scentimental scenes like the hero wearing Knickers in +2 class when everyone is wearing pants.Working hard in fileds during paddy riping in sewage(As per my knowledge.... land will be dry during paddy riping time but dont know how the hero worked in sewage while riping the paddy...........anyway this scene got huge response from the crowds)........ from there pace of the story increased as it travels from Ganji to Benz ,from Mogaltur to Madras and from aalochana to aacharana.........and finally from Mandhu party to Raajakeeya Party.
Punch Lines:There are some punch lines which erosed laughter for some and tears for some
1.Ammaku "Boy" Naina neney.........aadukuney "TOY" nainaa neney.
2.Chinnappudu ekkuva kaalam Amma Vollo perigaanu........(Sabha ku vachina janaalu pakkintalla vollo perigaaraa?)
3.Amma......."Sindhuvu" kooda "Bindhuvu" nundey modhalavuthundhi......(ee rojullo kooda Amma tho evaranna antha naatakeeyam gaa maatlaadathaaraa?)
4."ganji" choosanu .."Benzi" choosanu........Mogaltur Pilla Kaalavullo eedhaanu............Los Angels lo Sky diving chesaanu.........(Inka CM padhavi okkatey migilindhaa?)
Story, Screenplay and Direction Welcome to the Good Old Big Telugu Family cinema. Chiranjeevi plays the title role of "Sevakudu", who of course did "Seva" for the family in the initial days and now he wants to do "Praja Seva" to the prajalu. He sacrifices for the family, does everything to save the name and honor of his family and also to Prajalu by starting the "Blood bank" No one knows he's doing all these good things for the family and people but found out in the Interval bang with lot of suspense and count down when he announced the party name as "Praja Rajyam"
Second half started with chiranjeevi holding paper in his hand and reading it continuosly for 1 hour and refering basic components like "Vidya" , "Vaidyam",'Samajika Nyayam".Here we will get lot of disappointment because of the routine issues talked by many people in the past and chiru doing the same without telling us how he will do them....many people in the theatre starts Yawning here and we can see some people having Good Knap.Direction is Shoddy and pale in the second half as the interest slowly disappeared.Climax is a bit entertaining as it gives a pinch of scentiment dose to the people by hoisting the flag by a physically challenged boy.The most awaited film ended there.
Performances And there's Chiranjeevi himself. His Matin Luther King like antics entertain and keep everyone alert, and the script and dialogues totally side with him in the pursuit of entertainment. There are some gags too, at the right time and place, carefully merged into the script. How he can do the things he promised is not established properly in the script creating a lot of confusion among people of what his idea to enter into politics. He and his Flag hoisting sentiment by physically challenged boy is Paisa Vasool.
This is a total, typical family entertainer; gags, sentiment and sacrifice. Nothing more or less. There've been several movies like this, and hopefully India will never give up its ‘Family Entertainers'. It's still likely you'll walk out before the climax, because in all respects the movie ends there and drags on.
Sidelights:In the interval bang it was announced that the suspense will be unveiled and Party Name will be announced by 3 Girijanulu.......but dont know why it is not done
Last Word Routine Cinema.....better forget it..............1983 lo vachina cinema "Sholey" ayithey dhaaniki anukarana gaa vachina ee cinema "Ramgopal varma ka AAG"
Cast: Chiranjeevi,Pawan kalyan,Nagababu,Harirama Jogayya
Story: Dr.Mitra & Allu Aravind
Dialogues: Paruchuri Brothers
Editing: Pawan Kalyan & Chiranjeevi
Music: Mega fans.
Screenplay & Direction : Allu Aravind
Producer: Chiranjeevi
Banner: Geetha Arts
Release Date: 26th August, 2008.
Not Chiranjeevi's usual fare,but not really unlike it.With the backdrop of a Poor Guy working hard for his family and Rose from "Ganji To Benz", he still mouths witty filmy lines, pulls faces and shows pathetic expressions in his characteristic style. Read on.
Plot Chiranjeevi was born in a poor family where his father is the Constable. His Mother got married at the age of 14 and gives birth to him at the age of 15.From then chiranjeevi worked hard and carried the responsibilities of the whole family on his own shoulders.There are many twists in the story and scentimental scenes like the hero wearing Knickers in +2 class when everyone is wearing pants.Working hard in fileds during paddy riping in sewage(As per my knowledge.... land will be dry during paddy riping time but dont know how the hero worked in sewage while riping the paddy...........anyway this scene got huge response from the crowds)........ from there pace of the story increased as it travels from Ganji to Benz ,from Mogaltur to Madras and from aalochana to aacharana.........and finally from Mandhu party to Raajakeeya Party.
Punch Lines:There are some punch lines which erosed laughter for some and tears for some
1.Ammaku "Boy" Naina neney.........aadukuney "TOY" nainaa neney.
2.Chinnappudu ekkuva kaalam Amma Vollo perigaanu........(Sabha ku vachina janaalu pakkintalla vollo perigaaraa?)
3.Amma......."Sindhuvu" kooda "Bindhuvu" nundey modhalavuthundhi......(ee rojullo kooda Amma tho evaranna antha naatakeeyam gaa maatlaadathaaraa?)
4."ganji" choosanu .."Benzi" choosanu........Mogaltur Pilla Kaalavullo eedhaanu............Los Angels lo Sky diving chesaanu.........(Inka CM padhavi okkatey migilindhaa?)
Story, Screenplay and Direction Welcome to the Good Old Big Telugu Family cinema. Chiranjeevi plays the title role of "Sevakudu", who of course did "Seva" for the family in the initial days and now he wants to do "Praja Seva" to the prajalu. He sacrifices for the family, does everything to save the name and honor of his family and also to Prajalu by starting the "Blood bank" No one knows he's doing all these good things for the family and people but found out in the Interval bang with lot of suspense and count down when he announced the party name as "Praja Rajyam"
Second half started with chiranjeevi holding paper in his hand and reading it continuosly for 1 hour and refering basic components like "Vidya" , "Vaidyam",'Samajika Nyayam".Here we will get lot of disappointment because of the routine issues talked by many people in the past and chiru doing the same without telling us how he will do them....many people in the theatre starts Yawning here and we can see some people having Good Knap.Direction is Shoddy and pale in the second half as the interest slowly disappeared.Climax is a bit entertaining as it gives a pinch of scentiment dose to the people by hoisting the flag by a physically challenged boy.The most awaited film ended there.
Performances And there's Chiranjeevi himself. His Matin Luther King like antics entertain and keep everyone alert, and the script and dialogues totally side with him in the pursuit of entertainment. There are some gags too, at the right time and place, carefully merged into the script. How he can do the things he promised is not established properly in the script creating a lot of confusion among people of what his idea to enter into politics. He and his Flag hoisting sentiment by physically challenged boy is Paisa Vasool.
This is a total, typical family entertainer; gags, sentiment and sacrifice. Nothing more or less. There've been several movies like this, and hopefully India will never give up its ‘Family Entertainers'. It's still likely you'll walk out before the climax, because in all respects the movie ends there and drags on.
Sidelights:In the interval bang it was announced that the suspense will be unveiled and Party Name will be announced by 3 Girijanulu.......but dont know why it is not done
Last Word Routine Cinema.....better forget it..............1983 lo vachina cinema "Sholey" ayithey dhaaniki anukarana gaa vachina ee cinema "Ramgopal varma ka AAG"
Final Verdict: First half Comedy..........Second Half routine......Overall Talk: Cinema Nilabadadhu
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
Friday, August 22, 2008
Old ladies and driver
A tour bus driver is driving a bus load of seniors down high way.
An old lady tapped on his shoulder and offered him a
handful of peanuts, which he gratefully munches up.
After about 15 minutes, she taps him on his
shoulder again and she hands him another handful of peanuts.
She repeats this gesture about five more times.
When she is about to hand him another batch again he asks
the little old lady, ' Why don`t you eat the peanuts yourself?'.
'We can't chew them because we've no teeth', she replied.
The puzzled driver asks, 'Why do you buy them then?'
The old lady replied, 'We just love the chocolate around them.'
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
Thursday, August 7, 2008
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Similarities between bra and bar
1. Both have same alphabets
2. Both contain drinks
3. Both have restricted time for Opening & Closing
4. When open, both drive men crazy.
Attitude
If
A=1
B=2
C=3
D=4
E=5
F=6
G=7
H=8
I=9
J=10
K=11
L=12
M=13
N=14
O=15
P=16
Q=17
R=18
S=19
T=20
U=21
V=22
W=23
X=24
Y=25
Z=26
Then
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K =
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E =
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
L+O+V+E=
12+15+22+5=54%
L+U+C+K =
12+21+3+11 = 47%
(None of them makes 100%)
...............................
Then what makes 100%
Is it Money? ..... No!!!!!
Leadership? ...... NO!!!!
Every problem has a solution,
only if we perhaps change our "ATTITUDE".
It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work
that makes OUR Life 100% Successful..
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E =
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100%
A=1
B=2
C=3
D=4
E=5
F=6
G=7
H=8
I=9
J=10
K=11
L=12
M=13
N=14
O=15
P=16
Q=17
R=18
S=19
T=20
U=21
V=22
W=23
X=24
Y=25
Z=26
Then
H+A+R+D+W+O+R+K =
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%
K+N+O+W+L+E+D+G+E =
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%
L+O+V+E=
12+15+22+5=54%
L+U+C+K =
12+21+3+11 = 47%
(None of them makes 100%)
...............................
Then what makes 100%
Is it Money? ..... No!!!!!
Leadership? ...... NO!!!!
Every problem has a solution,
only if we perhaps change our "ATTITUDE".
It is OUR ATTITUDE towards Life and Work
that makes OUR Life 100% Successful..
A+T+T+I+T+U+D+E =
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5=100%
Friday, August 1, 2008
Out of box thinking
A man and a woman, who had never met before, found themselves assigned to the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train. Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two were tired and fell asleep quickly, he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.
At 2:00 AM, he leaned over and gently wakes the woman, saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be kind enough to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."
"I have a better idea," she replied. "Just for tonight, why don't we pretend that we're married?"
"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he is excited.
And she said.
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"Then get up and take it yourself"!! :)))))