A beggar came along and asked him for some money. Thev man ignored him. But
being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated
when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with
some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you
tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would
have bought a cup of tea", replied the
beggar.
The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then
took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."
The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar,
"Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".
The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race
course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets.
If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I
can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with
him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least
something from the man. But he still had his
doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with
you".
The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad
habits looks like."
Thursday, May 8, 2008
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Calories burnt in sex
CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX!
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent 12 Calories
Without her consent 2,187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands 8 Calories
With one hand 12 Calories
With your teeth 485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection 6 Calories
Without an erection 3,315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary 12 Calories
69 lying down 78 Calories
69 standing up 812 Calories
Wheelbarrow 216 Calories
Doggy Style 326 Calories
Italian chandelier 2,912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real 112 Calories
Fake 1,315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories
Getting up immediately 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816
Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years 36 Calories
30-39 years 80 Calories
40-49 years 124 Calories
50-59 years 1,972 Calories
60-69 years 7,916 Calories
70 and over Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.. 32 Calories
In a hurry 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door 5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door 13,521 Calories
Results may vary!
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent 12 Calories
Without her consent 2,187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands 8 Calories
With one hand 12 Calories
With your teeth 485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection 6 Calories
Without an erection 3,315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary 12 Calories
69 lying down 78 Calories
69 standing up 812 Calories
Wheelbarrow 216 Calories
Doggy Style 326 Calories
Italian chandelier 2,912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real 112 Calories
Fake 1,315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories
Getting up immediately 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816
Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years 36 Calories
30-39 years 80 Calories
40-49 years 124 Calories
50-59 years 1,972 Calories
60-69 years 7,916 Calories
70 and over Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.. 32 Calories
In a hurry 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door 5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door 13,521 Calories
Results may vary!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Japan Prime minister and US president
This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!
A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton...
The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how r u'.
Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'
It looks quite simple, but the truth is...
When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said
'Who r u?' (instead of 'How r u?'. )
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...'
Then Mori replied
'me too, ha-ha.. .'.
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room
A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton...
The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how r u'.
Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'
It looks quite simple, but the truth is...
When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said
'Who r u?' (instead of 'How r u?'. )
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...'
Then Mori replied
'me too, ha-ha.. .'.
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room
Thursday, May 1, 2008
IPL Deccan Chargers lead by Poor captaincy
Watching Deccan chargers in IPL is waste.They are losing matches after having good potential players also.Decisions take by VVS Laxman are really poor.After having great experince as a captain in ranji matches Laxman is not able to make any effect in the ground as a captain.
In the match with Rajasthan Royals we lost in the last over of the match.His descision to give bowling to Symonds is the worst decision any body can take in such a pressure situation.Warne who is the captain for Rajasthan Royals made their team to win by hitting every ball to boundary of Symonds.Laxman should have given a thought of not taking wickets but winning the match by making opposite team to waste balls.
In the match with Kings XI punjab also the decisions take are really worst.They took a player called Ojha but he never bowled or batted after having good record better than many.The decision of giving bowling to KalayanKrishna was worst which gave the momentum towards the KingsXI.In this over they hit 2 sixes,2 fours which gave confidence to a new batsmen.Selecting Venugopal was the worst decision as he did not bat and bowl well in this match.Laxman should try and give chances to other new members in team rather than taking venu gopal .
I am feeling if Deccan Chargers continue like this in IPL soon we will be in the bottom of the list.
If Very Very Special Laxman doesnot take proper steps in selecting team composition ,they will lose match.I want laxman not be named as Very Very Stupid Laxman.
In the match with Rajasthan Royals we lost in the last over of the match.His descision to give bowling to Symonds is the worst decision any body can take in such a pressure situation.Warne who is the captain for Rajasthan Royals made their team to win by hitting every ball to boundary of Symonds.Laxman should have given a thought of not taking wickets but winning the match by making opposite team to waste balls.
In the match with Kings XI punjab also the decisions take are really worst.They took a player called Ojha but he never bowled or batted after having good record better than many.The decision of giving bowling to KalayanKrishna was worst which gave the momentum towards the KingsXI.In this over they hit 2 sixes,2 fours which gave confidence to a new batsmen.Selecting Venugopal was the worst decision as he did not bat and bowl well in this match.Laxman should try and give chances to other new members in team rather than taking venu gopal .
I am feeling if Deccan Chargers continue like this in IPL soon we will be in the bottom of the list.
If Very Very Special Laxman doesnot take proper steps in selecting team composition ,they will lose match.I want laxman not be named as Very Very Stupid Laxman.
Vysyas and Drugs..anesthesia
Naturally occurring mutation Leu307Pro of human butyrylcholinesterase in the Vysya community of India.
Manoharan, Indumathi a; Wieseler, Stacy b; Layer, Paul G. c; Lockridge, Oksana b; Boopathy, Rathnam a
ORIGINAL ARTICLES
Pharmacogenetics & Genomics. 16(7):461-468, July 2006.Manoharan, Indumathi a; Wieseler, Stacy b; Layer, Paul G. c; Lockridge, Oksana b; Boopathy, Rathnam a
Abstract:
Background: People with genetic variants of butyrylcholinesterase (EC 3.1.1.8, BChE) can have hours of prolonged apnea after a normal dose of succinylcholine or mivacurium.
Methods: Plasma samples from 226 people in the Vysya community in Coimbatore, India were tested for BChE activity.
Results: Nine unrelated individuals had no detectable activity. DNA sequencing revealed a novel mutation in exon 2 of the BCHE gene, responsible for the silent phenotype of human serum BChE. All silent BChE samples were homozygous for a point mutation at codon 307 (CTT->CCT), resulting in substitution of leucine 307 by proline. Western blot analysis with a monoclonal antibody showed no BChE protein in plasma. Silent BChE plasma samples had no organophosphate-reactive BChE, as measured with FP-biotin. Expression of recombinant Leu307Pro BChE in cell culture confirmed that this mutant is expressed at very low levels. The proline substitution most likely destabilizes the BChE structure and causes the protein to be misfolded and rapidly degraded.
Conclusions: This is the first report of a molecularly defined BChE mutation in the Indian population. The frequency of homozygous silent BChE in the Vysya community is 1 in 24, a value 4000-fold higher than the frequency of homozygous silent BChE in European and American populations.
(C) 2006 Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, Inc.
courtesy of
http://www.jpharmacogenetics.com/
Night rate
Chemistry ki class main Teacher nay aik ladki say poocha,
'' What is Niterate?''
Ladki sharma kar
''Sir Night Rate 1500 aur Hotel charges alag say........
'' What is Niterate?''
Ladki sharma kar
''Sir Night Rate 1500 aur Hotel charges alag say........
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Marriage
An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one
evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request
to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling,
Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years
and clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in
the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's
wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those
loving pet names' The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the
truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm
scared to death to ask her what it is!' :-)
Why did sreesanth cry really?
Do u know why he cried actually??????? J
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Dats d reason………….
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Dats d reason………….
DIL ke armaan aansuon me beh gaye~~~~~~~
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Kya aap paachvi paas se tez hai
"Kya aap paachvi paas se tez hai "...
IF
1 = 5
2 = 25
3 = 125
4 = 625
5 = ?
Please think twice before scrolling
Answer = 1
REMEMBER THE FIRST LINE.
1 = 5
MORAL OF THE PROBLEM:
DON'T COMPLICATE SIMPLE PROBLEMS IN LIFE
IF
1 = 5
2 = 25
3 = 125
4 = 625
5 = ?
Please think twice before scrolling
Answer = 1
REMEMBER THE FIRST LINE.
1 = 5
MORAL OF THE PROBLEM:
DON'T COMPLICATE SIMPLE PROBLEMS IN LIFE
Nuns and Blind Man
Four nuns were assigned to paint a room in a church. It was a really warm day and the nuns were getting really hot in those black clothes they wear. So they took off all their clothes and went on painting naked.
Later they heard a knock on the door....
"Who is it???",
The man who knocked replied, "I'm the blind man".
So, the nuns decided to let him in since he would not be able to see them.
The man then looked around the room, then looked at them and said, "Nice bodies sisters, where do you want the blinds to be put??"
Later they heard a knock on the door....
"Who is it???",
The man who knocked replied, "I'm the blind man".
So, the nuns decided to let him in since he would not be able to see them.
The man then looked around the room, then looked at them and said, "Nice bodies sisters, where do you want the blinds to be put??"
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Neo economics -- US spends World Saves
The Japanese save a lot. They do not spend much.
Also Japan exports far more than it imports.
Has an annual trade surplus of over $100 billion, yet Japanese economy is considered weak, even collapsing.
Americans spend, but save little.
Also US imports more, than it exports.
Has an annual trade deficit of over $400 billion.
Yet, the American economy is considered strong and trusted to get stronger.
But from where do Americans get money to spend?
They borrow from Japan, China, and even India.
Virtually others save for the US to spend.
Global savings are mostly invested in US, in dollars.
India itself keeps its foreign currency assets of over $50 billions in US securities.
China has over $160 billion in US securities.
Japan's stakes in US securities is in trillions.
Result:
The US has taken over $5 trillion from the world.
So, as the world saves for the US, Americans spend freely.
Today, to keep the US consumption going, that is for the US economy to work, the countries have to remit $180 billion every quarter that is $2 billion a day to the US!
Otherwise the US economy would go for a sick.
So will the global economy.
The result will be no different if US consumers begin consuming less.
A Chinese economist asked a neat question.
Who has invested more, US in China, or China in US?
The US has invested in China less than half of what China has invested in US.
The same is the case with India. We have invested in US over $50 billion.
But the US has invested less than $20 billion in India.
Why the world is after US?
The secret lies in the American spending, that they hardly save.
In fact they use their credit cards to spend their future income.
That the US spends is what makes it attractive to export to the US.
So US imports more than what it exports year after year.
The result:
The world is dependent on US consumption for its growth.
By its deepening culture of consumption, the US has habituated the world to feed on US consumption.
But as the US needs money to finance its consumption, the world provides the money.
It's like a shopkeeper providing the money to a customer so that the customer keeps buying from his shop. If the customer does not buy; the shop won't have business, unless the shopkeeper funds him.
The US is like the lucky customer.
And the world is like the helpless shopkeeper financier.
Who is America's biggest shopkeeper financer?
Japan of course.
Yet it's Japan which is regarded as weak.
Modern economists complain that Japanese do not spend, so they do not Grow.
To force the Japanese to spend, the Japanese government exerted itself.
Reduced the savings rates, even charged the savers Even then the Japanese did not spend (habits don't change, even with taxes, do they?).
Their traditional postal savings alone is over $1.2 trillions, about three times the Indian GDP.
Thus, savings, far from being the strength of Japan, has become its pain.
Hence, what is the lesson?
A nation cannot grow unless the people spend, not save. Not just spend, but borrow and spend.
Dr. Jagdish Bhagwati, the famous Indian-born economist in the US, told that don't wastefully save.
Start spending, on imported cars and, seriously, even on cosmetics! This will put all nations on a growth curve.
"Saving is sin, and spending is virtue."
Before you follow this neo economics, get someone to save so that you can borrow from them and spend.
This is what US has successfully done in last few decades.
Has an annual trade surplus of over $100 billion, yet Japanese economy is considered weak, even collapsing.
Americans spend, but save little.
Also US imports more, than it exports.
Has an annual trade deficit of over $400 billion.
Yet, the American economy is considered strong and trusted to get stronger.
But from where do Americans get money to spend?
They borrow from Japan, China, and even India.
Virtually others save for the US to spend.
Global savings are mostly invested in US, in dollars.
India itself keeps its foreign currency assets of over $50 billions in US securities.
China has over $160 billion in US securities.
Japan's stakes in US securities is in trillions.
Result:
The US has taken over $5 trillion from the world.
So, as the world saves for the US, Americans spend freely.
Today, to keep the US consumption going, that is for the US economy to work, the countries have to remit $180 billion every quarter that is $2 billion a day to the US!
Otherwise the US economy would go for a sick.
So will the global economy.
The result will be no different if US consumers begin consuming less.
A Chinese economist asked a neat question.
Who has invested more, US in China, or China in US?
The US has invested in China less than half of what China has invested in US.
The same is the case with India. We have invested in US over $50 billion.
But the US has invested less than $20 billion in India.
Why the world is after US?
The secret lies in the American spending, that they hardly save.
In fact they use their credit cards to spend their future income.
That the US spends is what makes it attractive to export to the US.
So US imports more than what it exports year after year.
The result:
The world is dependent on US consumption for its growth.
By its deepening culture of consumption, the US has habituated the world to feed on US consumption.
But as the US needs money to finance its consumption, the world provides the money.
It's like a shopkeeper providing the money to a customer so that the customer keeps buying from his shop. If the customer does not buy; the shop won't have business, unless the shopkeeper funds him.
The US is like the lucky customer.
And the world is like the helpless shopkeeper financier.
Who is America's biggest shopkeeper financer?
Japan of course.
Yet it's Japan which is regarded as weak.
Modern economists complain that Japanese do not spend, so they do not Grow.
To force the Japanese to spend, the Japanese government exerted itself.
Reduced the savings rates, even charged the savers Even then the Japanese did not spend (habits don't change, even with taxes, do they?).
Their traditional postal savings alone is over $1.2 trillions, about three times the Indian GDP.
Thus, savings, far from being the strength of Japan, has become its pain.
Hence, what is the lesson?
A nation cannot grow unless the people spend, not save. Not just spend, but borrow and spend.
Dr. Jagdish Bhagwati, the famous Indian-born economist in the US, told that don't wastefully save.
Start spending, on imported cars and, seriously, even on cosmetics! This will put all nations on a growth curve.
"Saving is sin, and spending is virtue."
Before you follow this neo economics, get someone to save so that you can borrow from them and spend.
This is what US has successfully done in last few decades.
Smart answer 6
A teacher at a TAFE college reminded her pupils of tomorrow's final exam.'Now
listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being heretomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,illness, or a death
in your immediate family, but that's it, no otherexcuses whatsoever!'A
smart-arse at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What wouldhappen
if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexualexhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student,shook her head and sweetly
said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write theexam with your other hand.
listen to me, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being heretomorrow. I
might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury,illness, or a death
in your immediate family, but that's it, no otherexcuses whatsoever!'A
smart-arse at the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What wouldhappen
if I came in tomorrow suffering from complete and utter sexualexhaustion?'
The entire class was reduced to laughter and sniggering.When silence was
restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student,shook her head and sweetly
said, 'Well, I suppose you'd have to write theexam with your other hand.
Smart answer 4
A truck driver was driving along on a country road. A sign came up thatread 'Low
Bridge Ahead.'Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got
stuck underit. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
Thepoliceman got out of his car and walked to the truck's cab and said to
thedriver, 'Got stuck, eh?'The truck driver said, 'No, I was delivering this
bridge and ran out ofdiesel!'
Bridge Ahead.'Before he realised it, the bridge was directly ahead and he got
stuck underit. Cars are backed up for miles. Finally, a police car comes up.
Thepoliceman got out of his car and walked to the truck's cab and said to
thedriver, 'Got stuck, eh?'The truck driver said, 'No, I was delivering this
bridge and ran out ofdiesel!'
Smart answer -3 cop and kid
The policeman got out of his car and the boy racer he stopped for
speeding,rolled down his window.'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop
said.The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'When the
policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his waywithout a ticket*.
speeding,rolled down his window.'I've been waiting for you all day,' the cop
said.The kid replied, 'Yes, well I got here as fast as I could.'When the
policeman finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his waywithout a ticket*.
Smart answer 3
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at a supermarket but shecouldn't
find one big enough for her family.She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these
turkeys get any bigger?'
The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'
find one big enough for her family.She asked a passing assistant, 'Do these
turkeys get any bigger?'
The assistant replied, 'I'm afraid not, they're dead.'
Smart answer 2
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets.
Asa man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened histrench
coat and flashed her.Without blinking an eyelid she said, 'Sir, I need to see
your ticket notyour stub.'
Asa man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened histrench
coat and flashed her.Without blinking an eyelid she said, 'Sir, I need to see
your ticket notyour stub.'