Friday, April 11, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Spoon
A timeless lesson on how consultants can make a difference for an
organization...
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the
waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a
little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in
his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in
their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, 'Why the spoon?'
'Well,' he explained, 'the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to
revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that
the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop
frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are
better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save
15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his
spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making
an extra trip to get it right now.'
I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the
waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string
hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse
me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the
restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out
without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the
time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.'
'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
organization...
Last week, we took some friends out to a new restaurant, and noticed that the
waiter who took our order carried a spoon in his shirt pocket. It seemed a
little strange.
When the busboy brought our water and utensils, I noticed he also had a spoon in
his shirt pocket. Then I looked around and saw that all the staff had spoons in
their pockets.
When the waiter came back to serve our soup I asked, 'Why the spoon?'
'Well,' he explained, 'the restaurant's owners hired Andersen Consulting to
revamp all our processes. After several months of analysis, they concluded that
the spoon was the most frequently dropped utensil. It represents a drop
frequency of approximately 3 spoons per table per hour. If our personnel are
better prepared, we can reduce the number of trips back to the kitchen and save
15 man-hours per shift.'
As luck would have it, I dropped my spoon and he was able to replace it with his
spare. 'I'll get another spoon next time I go to the kitchen instead of making
an extra trip to get it right now.'
I was impressed. I also noticed that there was a string hanging out of the
waiter's fly. Looking around, I noticed that all the waiters had the same string
hanging from their flies. So before he walked off, I asked the waiter, 'Excuse
me, but can you tell me why you have that string right there?'
'Oh, certainly!' Then he lowered his voice. 'Not everyone is so observant.
That consulting firm I mentioned also found out that we can save time in the
restroom. By tying this string to the tip of you know what, we can pull it out
without touching it and eliminate the need to wash our hands, shortening the
time spent in the restroom by 76.39 percent.'
'After you get it out, how do you put it back?'
'Well,' he whispered, 'I don't know about the others, but I use the spoon.'
Managers
A team of Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a
flagpole. So the Managers go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape.
They're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole
thing is just a mess.
An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over,
pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end
to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.
After the Engineer has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs."
See this idiot. We're looking for height and he gives the length!"
Moral: "No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in
you".
FOUR FRIENDS AT A PARTY!!!!!!!!
Four friends, who hadn't seen each other in 30 years, reunited at a party.
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who
remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a
successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the
corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich
that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He
started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a
pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority
of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his
birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction
company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and
expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the
restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?' One of the three
said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons.
....What about your son?'
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper
at a nightclub.'
The three friends said: 'What a shame...what a disappointment.'
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he
hasn't done too badly either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a
beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line
Mercedes from his three boyfriends. !!!!!!
After several drinks, one of the men had to use the rest room. Those who
remained talked about their kids.
The first guy said, 'My son is my pride and joy. He started working at a
successful company at the bottom of the barrel.
He studied Economics and Business Administration and soon began to climb the
corporate ladder and now he's the president of the company. He became so rich
that he gave his best friend a top of the line Mercedes for his birthday.'
The second guy said, 'Darn, that's terrific! My son is also my pride and joy. He
started working for a big airline, and then went to flight school to become a
pilot. Eventually he became a partner in the company, where he owns the majority
of its assets. He's so rich that he gave his best friend a brand new jet for his
birthday.'
The third man said: 'Well, that's terrific! My son studied in the best
universities and became an engineer. Then he started his own construction
company and is now a multimillionaire. He also gave away something very nice and
expensive to his best friend for his birthday: A 30,000 square foot mansion.'
The three friends congratulated each other just as the fourth returned from the
restroom and asked: 'What are all the congratulations for?' One of the three
said: 'We were talking about the pride we feel for the successes of our sons.
....What about your son?'
The fourth man replied: 'My son is gay and makes a living dancing as a stripper
at a nightclub.'
The three friends said: 'What a shame...what a disappointment.'
The fourth man replied: 'No, I'm not ashamed. He's my son and I love him. And he
hasn't done too badly either. His birthday was two weeks ago, and he received a
beautiful 30,000 square foot mansion, a brand new jet and a top of the line
Mercedes from his three boyfriends. !!!!!!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Perfect husband
Once a man was waiting for a taxi.
A beggar came along and asked him for some money. The man ignored him. But being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would have bought a cup of tea", replied the beggar.
The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."
The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar, "Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".
The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets. If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least something from the man. But he still had his doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with you".
The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad habits looks like."
Trust
Little girl and her father were crossing a bridge.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.'
The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'
'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.
'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.
'If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
you will never let my hand go.'
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind,
but in its bond.
So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...
This message is too short......but carries a lot of Feelings.
The father was kind of scared so he asked his little daughter,
'Sweetheart, please hold my hand so that you don't fall into the river.'
The little girl said, 'No, Dad. You hold my hand.'
'What's the difference?' Asked the puzzled father.
'There's a big difference,' replied the little girl.
'If I hold your hand and something happens to me,
chances are that I may let your hand go.
But if you hold my hand, I know for sure that no matter what happens,
you will never let my hand go.'
In any relationship, the essence of trust is not in its bind,
but in its bond.
So hold the hand of the person who loves you rather than expecting them to hold yours...
This message is too short......but carries a lot of Feelings.
Secretary fired...
Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning.
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone " Happy Birthday."
I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind ?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, " Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me.
As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone " Happy Birthday."
I thought...
Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember.
My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.
As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday ! "
It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.
I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !"
We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a private table.
We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.
On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day...
We don't need to go straight back to the office, Do We ?"
I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind ?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner."
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, " Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment.
I'll be right back." "Ok." I nervously replied.
She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ...
Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".
And I just sat there...
On the couch...
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
IT company
A Banner cum Sign Board In front of an IT company..
Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee...
..... Leave them to us
Drive Slowly, Dont kill our Employee...
..... Leave them to us
Interview
After reading the form filled by an applicant.. The employer said: ' WE
do have an opening for you..!
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the 'door..!'
do have an opening for you..!
Applicant: What is it?
Interviewer: Its called the 'door..!'
Girl and Shopkeeper
Girl: Do you have Cards with sentimental Love quotes?
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I
ever loved.!'
Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!
Shopkeeper: Oh sure..@! How about this card, it says 'To the only boy I
ever loved.!'
Girl: Thats good, Give me 12 of them..!
Question
Someone has rightly said, 'A fool can ask More questions that a wise man
cannot answer'
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
cannot answer'
No Wonder why so many of us speechless when lecturers ask question..!
Fear
What is a Fear?
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new
and
Just few hours left for your exams..!
Fear is the Deep, Wrenching feeling in your stomach
When pages of your book still smell new
and
Just few hours left for your exams..!
Marriage
Employee: Boss, Now i have got married..! Please increase my salary..!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the
company..!
BOSS: Factory is not responsible for accidents occuring outside the
company..!
Love
An interesting line written at the back of a Biker's T Shirt:
' If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my galfriend has
fallen
off'
Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present..
Its just that,
One loves too much,
and
The other loves too many
' If you are able to see this, Please tell me that my galfriend has
fallen
off'
Most Relationships fail not because of the absence of love..
Love is always present..
Its just that,
One loves too much,
and
The other loves too many
Saints and IT professionals
Long back,
a person who sacrificed his sleep,
forgot his family,
forgot his food,
forgot laughter were called
'Saints'
But now they are called.
'IT/ ITES professionals'
a person who sacrificed his sleep,
forgot his family,
forgot his food,
forgot laughter were called
'Saints'
But now they are called.
'IT/ ITES professionals'
Let Boss Speak --- By mala
A Junior Software engineer, a Senior Software engineer and their Project
Manager are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they
come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The
ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,
I will allow one wish each". So the eager Junior Software engineer
shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast
boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff" and he was gone. Now the Senior
Software engineer could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff"
and he was also gone.
The Project Manager calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the
office after lunch at 1.30pm"
Moral of the story is:
"Always allow the boss to speak first"
Manager are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they
come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The
ghost says, "Normally, one is granted three wishes but as you are three,
I will allow one wish each". So the eager Junior Software engineer
shouted, I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas, on a fast
boat and have no worries. "Pfufffff" and he was gone. Now the Senior
Software engineer could not keep quiet and shouted " I want to be in
Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. "Pfufffff"
and he was also gone.
The Project Manager calmly said," I want these two idiots back in the
office after lunch at 1.30pm"
Moral of the story is:
"Always allow the boss to speak first"
Clever Girls
A Girl is giving directions to her new boyfriend to get to her apartment.
She says: "You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you"
The boyfriend says: "Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"
"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
She says: "You come to the front door of the apartment complex where I live and look for apartment 14A, and with your elbow push button 14A. Come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your elbow hit 14. When you get out of the elevator you'll find my apartment on the left. With your elbow, hit my doorbell and I'll open the door for you"
The boyfriend says: "Dear, that sounds very easy to find, but why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"
"Oh my God!! You're not coming empty-handed, are you?"
Surgery
Bob can't get an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his Penis are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.
Bob asks what the surgery is and the doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best.
Bob says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier, so he says ok.
The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later he gives Bob the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".
Bob takes his wife out to dinner. While at dinner Bob starts Feeling incredible pressure in his pants. It gets unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.
No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, Rolls across the table, grabs an apple from the fruit basket, And disappears back into his pants. His wife sits in shock for a Few moments, and then gets a sly look on her face.
She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?" With his eyes watering and a painful look on his face, Bob says, "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another apple up my ass."
Best SMS of the year
BEST SMS OF THE YEAR:
How amazing!! - A mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 years, but a girl makes him "STUPID" in 2 mins.
Second Best:
Arguing with boss is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After some time, u realize that u r getting dirty, but the pig is actually enjoying.
Third Best SMS:
Boys go to college to develop the mind; girls go to college to catch them before this happens
How amazing!! - A mother makes her son "INTELLIGENT" in 20 years, but a girl makes him "STUPID" in 2 mins.
Second Best:
Arguing with boss is like wrestling with a pig in the mud. After some time, u realize that u r getting dirty, but the pig is actually enjoying.
Third Best SMS:
Boys go to college to develop the mind; girls go to college to catch them before this happens
Danger .. 20 Tigers togeather
A_Rare_Picture_of_20_Tigers_Together
You won't believe your eyes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Most dangerous and daring pics ever taken..................................
A must see clip....All tigers are resting on one table.
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Mistakes
If a barber makes a mistake,
It's a
If a driver makes a mistake,
It is a
New path
If a engineer makes a mistake,
It is a
If parents makes a mistake,
It is a
If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a
If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a
If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a
If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a
If our boss makes a mistake,
It is a New idea
If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a
Mistake Only
It's a
If a driver makes a mistake,
It is a
New path
If a engineer makes a mistake,
It is a
If parents makes a mistake,
It is a
If a politician makes a mistake,
It is a
If a scientist makes a mistake,
It is a
If a tailor makes a mistake,
It is a
If a teacher makes a mistake ,
It is a
If our boss makes a mistake,
It is a New idea
If an employee makes a mistake,
It is a
Mistake Only
Down The Toilet
A young couple had only recently set up housekeeping when an unfortunate incident occurred.
Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning's relief, and neglected to notice
that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going!
She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed into the toilet past her waist with her legs
sticking straight up in front of her. She cried for her husband, who rushed in, and for the next hour tried
desperately to extricate her.
In this process they removed her sleeping gown, but this only left her naked and still stuck, with a particular
part of her anatomy prominently visible between her splayed legs.
Finally, the couple resolved to call a plumber, despite the embarrassing nature of their problem.
When the plumber arrived, the young man let him in, but as they were walking to the bathroom, the young man
realized that his wife was exposed in a very compromising and humiliating way.
Thinking fast, he ran ahead of the plumber and placed the first thing he could think of, his shoes, over his wife's
exposed privates.
The plumber walked into the bathroom, took one long look, and commented, "Well, I think I can save your wife,
buddy, but her lover's a goner."
Early one morning, the wife, drowsy from bed, went to the toilet for the morning's relief, and neglected to notice
that the seat was up. When she sat, she kept going!
She was just the right size and shape so that she became jammed into the toilet past her waist with her legs
sticking straight up in front of her. She cried for her husband, who rushed in, and for the next hour tried
desperately to extricate her.
In this process they removed her sleeping gown, but this only left her naked and still stuck, with a particular
part of her anatomy prominently visible between her splayed legs.
Finally, the couple resolved to call a plumber, despite the embarrassing nature of their problem.
When the plumber arrived, the young man let him in, but as they were walking to the bathroom, the young man
realized that his wife was exposed in a very compromising and humiliating way.
Thinking fast, he ran ahead of the plumber and placed the first thing he could think of, his shoes, over his wife's
exposed privates.
The plumber walked into the bathroom, took one long look, and commented, "Well, I think I can save your wife,
buddy, but her lover's a goner."
Santa Banta joke
SANTA: DUBAI me sub kuch FREE hai
TAXI
HOTEL
KHANA
PINA
YAHA TAK
SEX BHI
FREE HAI
BANTA : are yaar tu kub gaya tha
SANTA; mai nahin meri bibi jakar ayi hai
TAXI
HOTEL
KHANA
PINA
YAHA TAK
SEX BHI
FREE HAI
BANTA : are yaar tu kub gaya tha
SANTA; mai nahin meri bibi jakar ayi hai
Popup message
A little boy goes to his father and asks "Daddy, how was I born?"
The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together
in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into
a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we
discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine
months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
;
;
;
;
;
"You got a Male!"
The father answers, "Well, son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together
in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I set up a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into
a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we
discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was too late to hit the delete button, nine
months later a little Pop-Up appeared that said:
;
;
;
;
;
"You got a Male!"
Shamshabad airport update
Dear Associates ,
We wish to bring you an update on the operations of the New Hyderabad International Airport at Shamshabad
Access : An hour & 30 minutes travel time required from select points in the twin cities of Hyderabad & Secunderabad
as roads are congested during regular intervals between 0900- 2000 Hrs
Airport Shuttle-AEROEXPRESS: We would recommend that our Associates do use this Shuttle services from select city
points ,which is safe , reliable , convenient & cost effective . would also
recommend that Pooling of resources ( transportation ) be considered where ever possible , to make the airport transfers
enjoyable & further Cost effective
Radio Cabs : Associates can avail the services of GMR operated Radio Cabs ,which are safe & reliable mode of
Transportation For airport Transfers .
| Easy Cabs : +91 40 43434343 |
| Meeru : +91 40 44224422 |
Airport Parking : The Free parking facilities for Private vehicles presently Offered by GMR is being withdrawn with immediate
effect
Airport Utility shops : Still not fully functional and as such would caution Associates of inconvenience during delayed departures
and or Cancellation of flights
Public Announcements: It has been observed that unlike other Indian Airports , announcements regarding flight delays ,
Cancellations Etc..are restricted and even the visual information displays are either incorrect or do not happen .We would therefore
suggest that Our associates check information on departures & arrivals with the respective airline counters / ground staff once you
check in.
Arrivals : During the last one week there have been several instances of Domestic Arrivals / passengers coming through International
arrival lounge / area and even international arrival passengers coming out through International departure area on the upper Level due
to repairs & maintenance being carried out after the un-seasonal rains ..…Associates are requested to take guidance from The Airline
personnel who will be always available on Arrival side .Airlines have also reported delays in having the Aero bridges connectivity
Upon landing at Shamshabad Airport , causing delayed disembarkation.
Immigration : Associates arriving on international flights may experience long Qs at immigration since there are limited
Staff manning the counters at times.
We expect that the initial teething problems will be resolved at the earliest since there has been regular & extensive media coverage as
well on the Issues , which has made the concerned authorities to initiate corrective action .
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Resting The Balls
On a golf tour in Newfoundland, Canada, Tiger Woods drives his new Ford Fusion into a petrol station in a remote part of the countryside. The pump attendant, obviously knows nothing about golf, greets him completely unaware of who the golfing pro is. "Top of the morning to you, sir" says the attendant. Tiger nods a quick hello and bends forward to pick up the nozzle. As he does so, two tees fall out of his shirt pocket onto the ground. "What are those?" asks the attendant. "They're called tees,” replies Tiger. "Well, what on God's earth are they for?" inquires the attendant. "They're for resting my balls on when I'm driving", says Tiger. "Fookin Jeysus", says the Newfoundlander, "Lord thinks of everything!"
Love .by children
*What is Love???*
A group of 4 to 8 year-old Children were asked, "What does love mean?"
The answers they gave were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
--"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday" (Tina - age 7)
--"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." (Clare - Age 5)
--"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." (Billy - age 4)
--"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." (Rebecca - age 8 )
--"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.." ( Chris sy - age 6 )
--"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." (Terri - age 4 )
--"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." (Danny - age 7)
--"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well." (Tommy - age 6 )
--"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. That's love" (Cindy -age 8)
--"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." (Elaine - age 5)
--"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." (Mary Ann - age 4 )
A group of 4 to 8 year-old Children were asked, "What does love mean?"
The answers they gave were broader and deeper than anyone could have imagined.
--"Love is when you tell a guy you like his shirt, then he wears it everyday" (Tina - age 7)
--"My mommy loves me more than anybody. You don't see anyone else kissing me to sleep at night." (Clare - Age 5)
--"When someone loves you, the way they say your name is different. You know that your name is safe in their mouth." (Billy - age 4)
--"When my grandmother got arthritis, she couldn't bend over and paint her toenails anymore. So my grandfather does it for her all the time, even when his hands got arthritis too. That's love." (Rebecca - age 8 )
--"Love is when you go out to eat and give somebody most of your French fries without making them give you any of theirs.." ( Chris sy - age 6 )
--"Love is what makes you smile when you're tired." (Terri - age 4 )
--"Love is when my mommy makes coffee for my daddy and she takes a sip before giving it to him, to make sure the taste is OK." (Danny - age 7)
--"Love is like a little old woman and a little old man who are still
friends even after they know each other so well." (Tommy - age 6 )
--"During my piano recital, I was on a stage and scared. I looked at all the people watching me and saw my daddy waving and smiling. He was the only one doing that. I wasn't scared anymore. That's love" (Cindy -age 8)
--"Love is when mommy gives daddy the best piece of chicken." (Elaine - age 5)
--"Love is when your puppy licks your face even after you left him alone all day." (Mary Ann - age 4 )
Priceless words
PRICELESS WORDS
A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"
Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM , drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,
"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"
Best 4 Chinese Jokes... Awesome!
Hi,
4 Best Chinese jokes!!
I particularly enjoyed the 3rd one, its brilliant!
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HA HA HA HA HA APRIL FOOOOOOOOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4 Best Chinese jokes!!
I particularly enjoyed the 3rd one, its brilliant!
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HA HA HA HA HA APRIL FOOOOOOOOL !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!