Happy Days Movie Function

*** By Hareesh

3 monkeys in 21st century

New version

Old version

*** By Padma

American Intelligence (joke)

American Intelligence (joke)

While visiting India,

George Bush is invited to tea with Indian PresidentAbdul Kalam.

He asks Kalam what his leadership philosophy is.
He says that, it is tosurround himself with intelligent people.
Bush asks how he knows if they're intelligent.

"I do so by asking them the right questions," says Kalam.
"Allow me todemonstrate."
Bush watches as
Kalam phones Manmohan Singh and says, "Mr. Prime Minister,please answer this question: your mother has a child, and your father has achild, and this child is not your brother or sister.Who is it?"
Manmohan immediately responds, "It's me, Sir !""Correct.
Thank you and good-bye, sir," says Kalam.
He hangs up and says,"Did you get that, Mr. Bush?"
Bush nods: "Yes Mr. President. Thanks a lot. I'll definitely be using that!"

Bush, upon returning to Washington, decides he'd better put the CondoleezaRice to the test.

Bush summons her to the White House and says, "Condoleeza,I wonder if you can answer a question for me.
""Why, of course, sir. What's on your mind?"
Bush poses the question: "Uhh, your mother has a child, and your father hasa child, and this child is not your brother or your sister.Who is it?"

Rice was puzzled and finally asks, "Can I think about it and get back toyou?"

Bush agrees, and Rice leaves.

Rice immediately calls a meeting ofsenior senators, and they puzzle over the question for several hours, butnobody can come up with an answer.
Finally, in desperation,
Rice calls ColinPowell and explains the problem."Mr. Powell, your mother has a child, and your father has a child, and thischild is not your brother or your sister. Who is it?"
Powell answers immediately, "It's me, of course."
Much relieved, Rice rushes back to the White House, finds George Bush, and exclaims, "I know the answer, sir! I know who it is! It's our Colin Powell!"
And Bush replies in disgust,



"Wrong, its Manmohan Singh!"

Regards
Shankarling B.Sonnad



Regards
Shankarling B.Sonnad
+91-98866 40303

Super Shampoo

***By Padma

CUSTOMER CARE IN 2020

Operator : "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut . May I have your..."

Customer: "Heloo, can I order.."

Operator : "Can I have your multi purpose card number first, Sir?"

Customer: "It's eh..., hold..........on......889861356102049998-45-54610"

Operator : "OK... you're... Mr Singh and you're calling from 17 Jalan Kayu. Your home number is 4094 2366 your office 7645 2302 and your mobile is 98801 62566. Which number are you calling from now Sir?"

Customer: "Home! How did you get all my phone numbers?

Operator : "We are connected to the system Sir"

Customer: "May I order your Seafood Pizza..."

Operator : "That's not a good idea Sir"

Customer: "How come?"

Operator : "According to your medical records, you have high blood pressure and even higher cholesterol level Sir"

Customer: "What?... What do you recommend then?"

Operator : "Try our Low Fat H okkien Mee Pizza. You'll like it"

Customer: "How do you know for sure?"

Operator : "You borrowed a book entitled "Popular Hokkien Dishes" from the National Library last week Sir"

Customer: "OK I give up... Give me three family size ones then, how much will that cost?"

Operator : "That should be enough for your family of 10, Sir. The total is 409.00"
Customer: "Can I pay by! credit card?"

Operator : "I'm afraid you have to pay us cash, Sir. Your credit card is over the limit and you owe your bank Rs.3,30,720.00 since October last year. That's not including the late payment charges on your housing loan, Sir."

Customer: "I guess I have to run to the neighborhood ATM and withdraw some cash before your guy arrives"

Operator : "You can't Sir. Based on the records, you've reached your daily limit on machine withdrawal today"

Customer: "Never mind just send the pizzas, I'll have the cash ready. How long is it gonna take anyway?"

Operator : "About 45 minutes Sir, but if you can't wait you can always come and collect it on your motorcycle..."

Customer: " What!"

Operator : "According to the details in system ,you own a Scooter,...registration number 1123..."

Customer: " ????"

Operator : "Is there anything else Sir?"

Customer: "Nothing... by the way... aren't you giving me that 3 free bottles of cola as advertised?"

Operator : "We normally would Sir, but based on your records you're also diabetic....... "

Customer: #$$^%&$@$%^

Operator : "Better watch your language Sir. Remember on 15th July 1987 you were convicted of using abusive language on a policeman...?"

Customer: [Faints]

conference room

A conference is a gathering of important people who individually can't do anything but together can decide that nothing can be done.



Regards
Shankarling B.Sonnad
+91-98866 40303

Happy Days...

Podduna levali...
snanam cheyali....
cab ekkali...
office ki vellali...

oooooooooooooo ooo
ooo oooooooooooooo
ooo ooo ooooooooooo
ooo ooo ooo ooooooo
ooooooo ooo ooo
cubicle lo patalu
pantry lo matalu
training lo wonderluu
Coding lo blunderluu
Appraisals ki tenderlu...

ika cab la kai waitingu
cab drivers tho fighting
pantry lo meeting uuuuu...

jill jill jiga....
jill jill jiga...
jill jill jiga....
jill jill jiga...
jill jill jiga....
jill jill jiga...
jill jill jiga....
jill jill jiga...

Reviews lo tappulu..
code lo bugguluu
Clients tho cheevatlu..
PM tho thittulu...

last minute codingu
Onsite tho fightingu
Bench kosamai waitngu uuuu uuu

jill jill jiga....
jill jill jiga...
jill jill jiga....
jill jill jiga...

Podduna levali...
snanam cheyali....
cab ekkali...
office ki vellali...

by chandrashekar ..Photon Infotech

Engineering Facts -6

WORLD'S BIGGEST CHURCH BUILDING………NIGERIA
Winners` C hapel…….Canaanland ………. Otta…..…Nigeria Inside Sitting Capacity……50,000 Outside Overflow Capacity……250,000




WORLD'S BIGGEST ROMAN-CATHOLIC CATHEDRAL…………IVORY-COAST

Engineering Facts -5

WORLD'S LARGEST MOSQUE………………PAKISTAN
Shah Feisal mosque…..Islamabad……Pakistan Inside hall capacity ….35, 000 outside overflow capacity…… 150,000

WORLD'S BIGGEST HOTEL………LAS VEGAS

MGM Grand Hotel….Las Vegas….6, 276 rooms

WORLD'S MOST EXPENSIVE HOTEL …DUBAI…U.A.E

Burj Al Arab Hotel, Dubai….only 7 Star Hotel in the World Cheapest room…$1000 per night.…..Royal suit…$28,000 per night

Engineering Facts -4

WORLD'S BIGGEST STADIUM……….BRAZIL
MARACANA STADIUM………… RIO D.J…………BRAZIL……………CAPACITY…199,000



WORLD'S COSTLIEST STADIUM………ENGLAND
New WEMBLEY STADIUM, London….90, 000 capacities…………….cost…..$1.6 billion

MOST COMPLEX INTER-CHANGE………TEXAS

Interstate 10 Highways Interchange……Houston, Texas.

WORLD'S BIGGEST EXCAVATOR

Built by KRUPP of Germany………….45,500 tons……95 meters high……215 meters long

Engineering Facts-3

WORLD'S BIGGEST BUS

Neoplan Jumbo - cruiser……..2 in 1 bus….double deck bus……170 passenger capacity



WORLD'S HIGHEST STATUE…………….BRAZIL
CHRIST THE REDEEMER STATUE…..RIO.D.J………BRAZIL

WORLD'S TALLEST BUILDING………DUBAI

Burj Dubai……….900 meters high. To be finally completed 2008

WORLD'S LARGEST PALACE………………….ROMANIA

Palace of the Parliament…..Bucharest, Romania ………. more than 500 bedrooms, 55 kitchens,120 sitting rooms

Engineering Facts-2

WORLD'S WIDEST BRIDGE………AUSTRALIA
Sydney harbor bridge, Australia……..16 lanes of car traffic…..8 lanes in the upper floor, 8 in the lower floor

WORLD'S LONGEST BRIDGE……………CHINA

Donghai Bridge , China ……………………32.5 kilo meters

WORLD'S BIGGEST PASSENGER-SHIP

MS Freedom of the Seas……4300 passenger Capacity Inside

WORLD'S BIGGEST PLANE……………AIRBUS

Airbus A380………..555 Passenger s

Engineering wonders

Basilica of our Lady of Peace, Yamoussoukro o.
Inside sitting capacity………..18,000 Outside overflow capacity….100, 000

WORLD'S BIGGEST INDOOR SWIMMING-POOL
World Water Park…..Edmonton, Albert, Canada…………..SIZE….5 Acres

WORLD'S BIGGEST OFFICE COMPLEX ………… CHICAGO

Chicago Merchandise Mart…..Illinois, USA

WORLD'S BIGGEST SHOPPING MALL

South China Mall, Dongguan, China………892,000 meter-square Shops on 6 floors


WORLD'S BUSIEST AIRPORT……………NEW YORK
J.F.K International Airport , New York………………..USA

Recycling....

Telugu dictionary(Only for andhra telugu ppl) too good

Telugu dictionary (Only for andhra telugu ppl) too good

Hi all,
Here is a telugu dictionary for u which gives the meaning of some famous words used in Andhra side telugu which are not actually available in any dictionary known.


Doola
1. (n) surplus energy
usage: vaadiki konchem doola ekkuva!
2. (adj) possessing surplus energy
usage: vaadu oka doola gaadu!
3. (n) any activity aimed at venting out surplus energy
usage: enduku vaadiki aa doola?


Thope:
thope(n)
1)potugadu/potugatte
Usage:vaadu picha thope

Dobbu:(verb):
The act of undercurrent humiliation in the guise of
cloyingly psychopathic praise.
Usage: ippudu nuvvu nannu pogidaava? dobbava?..

Avidea
1) Idea ported to pakka South Indian village english.
usage : orei nuvvu cheppina avidea valla nenu eeroju vaadi daggara nunchi thappinchukunnara.

Boku:(noun)
A person who is considered good for nothing, but does things that are
usually unusual.Found in large numbers between the age group 15-25 in big vilages,towns and even in cities.
Root word: Poramboku.
Usage: aado bokugaadu raa..
Related words:Gaali.

Bongu:(Interjection and Noun)
A word expressed in disapproval of something,devoiding the other person, any chance of continuing the argument.....
Usage:
Char1: Adi ala ayyi undochhu kada...
Char2: Bongu raa..ala ayye chance ledu....
Related words: tokka,bokka.


Sollu:(noun)
1) An unending saga of irrelevant gossiping, encompassing a plethora of topics like
Cricket, Cinema, Politics, College, Gals, Boys and almost anything under the sun,barring Studies.
Usage: aapandra babu mee sollu..
Related words: Sollugadu

Nee Enkamma: (interjection)
1)A word that used by most telugu ppl involuntarily esp. when irritated by somebody or something.
Origin: Considered to be coined by brahmanandam in chitram bhalare vichitram.
Related words: Nee yabba,nee ayya, …….

Racha cheyyi:(v)
meaning: rechipoyi..petrigipo...
usage:
baboi..maama ikkada nuvvu levu kada..inka vaadu racha chesestunnadu.

Lite teesko:(v)
Ignore every thing and chill out.
Usage: enduku basu feel avutavu. Lite teesko.

Keka: (adj,interjection)
Used to describe something toooooooooooooooo gud.
Usage: kotha dressaa? Keka.
Related words: Katti, arupu.


********* by Padma

Why always woman rule the world

Chinese call center ---Good wan

Why Chinese call centre cannot compete Indian --- Funny One :)



Good Wan! (Good One!)"


Caller: Hello, can I speak to Annie Wan ?
Operator: Yes, you can speak to me.
Caller : No, I want to speak to Annie Wan!
Operator : Yes I understand you want to speak to anyone.You can speak to me. Who is this?
Caller : I'm Sam Wan . And I need to talk to Annie Wan! It's urgent.
Operator : I know you are someone and you want to talk to anyone! But what's this urgent matter about?
Caller : Well... just tell my sister Annie Wan that our brother Noe Wan was involved in an accident. Noe Wan got injured and now Noe Wan is being sent to the hospital. Right now, Avery Wan is on his way to the hospital.
Operator : Look, if no one was injured and no one was sent to the hospital, then the accident isn't an urgent matter! You may find this hilarious but I don't have time for this!
Caller : You are so rude! Who are you?
Operator: I'm Saw Ree .
Caller: Yes! You should be sorry . Now give me your name!!
Operator: That's what I said. I'm Saw Ree ..



Cheers …

Yuva

Find out who these big guys are ...

Many scientists,politicians,leaders,players ....

Cute Papa...............VGM

A beginning of a fresh day and I hope it's a beautiful day ahead for you...





Sometimes I forget to ask, Are you ok?
Sometimes I even miss to say Hi
But it Doesn't mean that I Forgot u
I am just Lazy like You……..!

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