Balakrishna jokes

Balayya practising CHIRU's dialogue (TAGORE)..

ippativaraku na cinemalu 440...
andhulo HITLU 4..
Floplu 40..
Utterfloplu 140..
Varam Adinavi 80..
Varam kuda adanivi 60..
Fans matrame chudanivi 20..
Ika migilinavi 16..
Vatilo asalu release kaanivi 14..
migilina 2 sagamlo apesaru..
natho cinema theesi suicide chesukunna nirmathalu 4..
cinema chustu chachina fans 4232..
Chala inka amina kavala?



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FLASH NEWS:

King of POP and World's best dancer Micheal Jackson was arrested by cops on accusing him on attempt to Suicide..You know the reason y?
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he watched the dance video of balayya..




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Balayya is remaking TITANIC as

"Samudram lo Sanyasi". In the end he doesn't die but swims across the ocean with heroine in one hand and....

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TITANIC on other hand.

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Kannayya ur son is dead.

hearing this kannayya jumps

from 50th floor..

at 35th floor he realizes "i dont have a son"

at 25th floor "i'm not married"

at 3rd floor "SH*T I'm not kannayya. i am Balayya..

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ATHADU DIALOGUE:

Nuvvu padivelu ichina S.I. ki nenu laksha rupayalu istha


Balayya cinema chusi poyadani raasestadu..

polam kavalo pranam kavalo telchuko.



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City mottam godavaga undi
bayataku raku
Buses, C.D shops tagala pedutunnaru..
enduko telusa "MITRUDU" audio vine ekamga 108 mandi 108 lo hospital palayyaru..




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Drona lo priyamani BIKINI - Cinema FLOP.
Billa lo Anushka BIKINI- Cinema AVG.
Heroines tho labham ledani MITRUDU lo mana Balayya BIKINI lo vastunnadu.
Enjoy!




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Balayya interview-

Interviewer: Jnr NTR ki accident enduku ayyindi?

Balayya: While driving, maavadu brake kotta boyi thoda kottadu dhoola theeripoyindi na kodukki



enjoy more balayya jokes @

Balayya Jokes

Gift--Lastforever

One man got a child > > > ..... ....
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1 year later - man asked the child-what to gift you?
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... ... ...
child said
ping pong ball
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... ... 2'nd b'day- Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball ....
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3rd b'day
Father- what gift you want? Son - ping pong ball
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.... 4th bday Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
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5th bday Father- what gift you want? Son - ping pong ball ....
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6thb'day Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
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>.......................................................................... .. .........
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24th bday
Father- what gift you want?
Son - ping pong ball
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he got married
at honeymoon
Wife-what do u want?
Husband-ping pong ball
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... .... 25th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
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26th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball
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27th bday
Wife - what gift you want?
Husband-ping pong ball ....
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>.......................................................................... ..
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his kids become 15 yrs old
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40th bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
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41st b'day kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
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... ... 42nd bday
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball .... ....
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>.......................................................................... ..
......... >.......................................................................... ..
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79th b'day
kids- Father what gift you want?
Father - ping pong ball
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Before his death
all the people from whom he took ping pong ball
(Like his Wife, kids and all others) came to him and asked
Why did you ask for a ping pong ball all the time? ....
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He said give me a ping pong ball then I will tell you....
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... Then those people gave him a ping pong ball
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During those last moments when he is about to die
everyone reached him and asked
tell us why did you ask for ping pong ball always?
he said.
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.... I asked for a ping pong ball on my every b'day because
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And he Died... before he could tell the Reason...
What a tragedy! What a tragedy!!!

best short story

	A college class was told they had to write a short story in as few words as possible. The instructions were : The short story had to contain the following three words: 1: Religion, 2: Sexuality, 3: Mystry. Below is the only A+ short story in the entire class.... "Good God, I'm pregnant, I wonder Who did it".

Nuns story.

There were two nuns..

One of them was known as Sister Mathematical (SM),

and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL)..

It is getting dark and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for The past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most! What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working..

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing. He started to walk faster, too.

SM : So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way and I'll go this way. He cannot follow us both.

So the man decided to follow Sister Logical.



Sister Mathematical arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister Logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here!
Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened.
The man couldn't follow us both, so he followed me

SM : Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I could and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL : The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do.
He pulled down his pants.



SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister?
A nun with her dress up can run faster than man with his pants down.

And for those of you who thought it would be dirty,

eat your heart out hahahahaha

April fool joke

husband,wife and blind man

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop; with them are their 8Children... A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.. After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!! The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus! So shut up and keep walking!!!!"

If recession continues for the next two years......,

Chacha kaise ho ???
Chacha: ab kya batau.... Bada beta share broker hai...

doosara beta Jet Airways mein hai

aur teesara software mein

sabse chhota PANWALA hai...

Bus Wohi ghar chala raha hai....

barber shop

John McCain and Barack Obama somehow ended up at the same barbershop.

As they sat there, each being worked on by a different barber,

not a word was spoken. The 2 barbers were even afraid to

start a conversation, for fear it would turn to politics.

As the barbers finished their shaves, the one who had

McCain in his chair reached for the after shave.

McCain was quick to stop him saying,

'No thanks, my wife Cindy will smell that and

think I've been in a whorehouse.'

The second barber turned to Obama and said, 'How about you?'
Obama replied, 'Go ahead, my wife doesn't know what

the inside of a whorehouse smells like.'

Naughty priest

Software guy and his wife

Message #77226 of 77281 < Prev | Next >

A conversation between a husband, who is software professional n his wife.

HUSBAND - HAI DEAR,I AM LOGGED IN.

WIFE - WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SOME SNACKS

HUSBAND - HARD DISK FULL.

WIFE - HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE SAREE.

HUSBAND - BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.

WIFE - BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT IN MORNING

HUSBAND - ERRONEOUS SYNTAX, ABORT, RETRY, CANCEL.

WIFE - HAE BHAGWAN ! FORGET IT WHERE'S YOUR SALARY.

HUSBAND - FILE IN USE, READ ONLY, TRY AFTER SOME TIME.

WIFE - ATLEAST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD, I CAN DO SOME SHOPPING.

HUSBAND - SHARING VIOLATION, ACCESS DENIED.

WIFE - I MADE A MISTAKE IN MARRYING YOU.

HUSBAND - DATA TYPE MISMATCH.

WIFE - YOU ARE USELESS.

HUSBAND - BY DEFAULT.

WIFE - WHO WAS THERE WITH YOU IN THE CAR THIS MORNING?

HUSBAND - SYSTEM UNSTABLE PRESS CTRL, ALT, DEL TO REBOOT.

WIFE - WHAT IS MY VALUE IN YOUR LIFE?

HUSBAND - UNKNOWN VIRUS DETECTED.

WIFE - DO YOU LOVE ME OR YOUR COMPUTER?

HUSBAND - TOO MANY PARAMETERS.

WIFE - I WILL GO TO MY DADS HOUSE.

HUSBAND - PROGRAM PERFORMED ILLEGAL OPERATION,IT WILL CLOSE.

WIFE - I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR EVER.

HUSBAND - CLOSE ALL PROGRAMS & LOG OUT FOR ANOTHER USER.

WIFE - It IS WORTHLESS TALKING TO YOU.

HUSBAND - SHUT DOWN THE COMPUTER.

WIFE - I AM GOING

HUSBAND - ITS NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.

smart father in law and quality engineer

A Quality Engineer married an average girl…
After 2 years of tough life with her, finally Engineer got angry and sent a note to father-in-law stating that
'YOUR PRODUCT DOES NOT MEET MY REQUIREMENTS'.
The smart father-in-law replies,
'WARRANTY EXPIRED.... MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE'.....

wife from hell

A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, 'I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'


The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'


Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'


As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'


The wife smiles demurely and says 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'


As the officer makes out the 2nd ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,

'Damn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'


The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'

The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'


The wife says, 'Now dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt while you're driving.'


And as the police officer is writing out the 3rd ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP???'

The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'


'Only when he's been drinking.’

Telugu proverbs in english

All these are Telugu proverbs.
1) Education coming Mind going
2) Sitting, eating mountains melting
3) Marriage coming Vomiting Coming No Waiting
4) Aunty property son-in-law donating
5) Rameswaram going Saneswaram not leaving
6) Smiling lady crying gent don't believe
7) Hands' burning leaves catching
8) Ramayan hearing Rama sita a relation what
9) Jogi Jogi rubbing ash falling
10) Crow baby crow kiss
11) Gents salary ladies age don't ask
12) 100 lies tell do one marriage
13) For jaundice man all looks green
14) Village marriage dogs hurry
15) Reddy coming again starting
16) No wife, No stomach son's name somalingam
The best one
17) Having gone keeping also gone

almost married

Two old high school buddies get together at their class reunion. Having not seen each other for many years, the first guy asks, 'How have things been going?'

The second guy, speaking very slowly replied, 'I w..a..s a..l..m..o..s..t m..a..r..r..i..e..d.'

The first guy says in amazement, 'Hey, you don't stutter any more, that's great.'

The second guy replies, 'Y..e..s, I w..e..n..t t..o a d..o..c..t..o..r a..n..d h..e t..o..l..d m..e t..h..a..t i..f I s..p..e..a..k s..l..o..w..l..y I w..i..l..l n..o..t s..t..u..t..t..e..r.'

The first guy congratulates him and then asks, 'What did you mean by you were almost married?'

'W..e..l..l, m..y f..i..a..n..c..e..e a..n..d I w..e..r..e s..i..t..t..i..n..g o..n h..e..r p..o..r..c..h a..n..d t..h..e d..o..g s..t..a..r..t..e..d s..c..r..a..t..c..h..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..c..k, a..n..d s..o I t..o..l..d h..e..r t..h..a..t a..f..t..e..r w..e a..r..e m..a..r..r..i..e..d, s..h..e c..a..n d..o t..h..a..t f..o..r m..e. A..n..d t..h..e..n s..h..e s..l..a..p..p..e..d m..e a..n..d t..h..r..e..w t..h..e .r..i..n..g o..n t..h..e g..r..o..u..n..d.'

'Why would she do that? Wasn't she a romantic type?' asks the first guy.

'W..e..l..l, s..h..e w..a..s, b..u..t I s..p..e..a..k s..o s..l..o..w..l..y t..h..a..t, b..y t..h..e t..i..m..e s..h..e l..o..o..k..e..d a..t t..h..e d..o..g, h..e w..a..s l..i..c..k..i..n..g h..i..s b..a..l..l..s.'

via -agra tajmahal

Newyork rebuilds with a message to osama

Letter to bill gates from banta

Dear Mr. Bill Gates,

This letter is from Banta Singh from Punjab. We have bought a computer for our home and we found problems, which I want to bring to your notice.

1. After connecting to internet we planned to open e-mail account and whenever we fill the form in Hotmail in the password column, only ****** appears, but in the rest of the fields whatever we typed appears, but we face this problem only in password field. We checked with hardware vendor Santa Singh and he said that there is no problem in keyboard. Because of this we open the e-mail account with password *****. I request you to check this as we ourselves do not know what the password is.

2. We are unable to enter anything after we click the 'shut down ' button.

3. There is a button 'start' but there is no "stop" button. We request you to check this.

4. We find there is 'Run' in the menu. One of my friend clicked 'run ' has ran upto Amritsar! So, we request you to change that to "sit", so that we can click that by sitting.

5. One doubt is that any 're-scooter' available in system? As I find only 're-cycle', but I own a scooter at my home.

6. There is 'Find' button but it is not working properly. My wife lost the door key and we tried a lot for tracing the key with this ' find', but unable to trace. Is it a bug??

7. Every night I am not sleeping as I have to protect my 'mouse' from CAT, So I suggest u to provide one DOG to kill that cat.

8. Please confirm when u are going to give me money for winning 'HEARTS' (playing cards in games) and when are u coming to my home to collect ur money.

9. My child learnt 'Microsoft word' now he wants to learn 'Microsoft sentence', so when u will provide that?

Best regards,
Banta Singh

Intelligent Sardar

A Sardarji and his wife are traveling by car from Key West to Boston. After almost twenty-four hours on the road, they're too tired to continue, and they decide to stop for a rest. They stop at a nice hotel and take a room, but they only plan to sleep for four hours and then get back on the road.

When they check out four hours later, the desk clerk hands them a bill for $350.. The Sardarji explodes and demands to know why the charge is so high. He tells the clerk although it's a nice hotel, the rooms certainly aren't worth $350. When the clerk tells him $350 is the standard rate, the man insists on speaking to the Manager. The Manager appears, listens to the Sardarji, and then explains that the hotel has an Olympic-sized pool and a huge conference center that were available for the husband and wife to use...

But we didn't use them', the Sardarji complains.

Well, they are here, and you could have,' explains the Manager. He goes on to explain they could have taken in one of the shows for which the hotel is famous. 'The best entertainers from New York, Hollywood and Las Vegas perform here,' the Manager says.

But we didn't go to any of those shows,' sardarji complains again.

'Well, we have them, and you could have', the Manager replies. No matter what facility the Manager mentions, the sardarji replies 'But we didn't use it'. The Manager is unmoved, and eventually the Sardarji finally gives up and agrees to pay. He writes a check and gives it to the Manager.

The Manager is surprised when the looks at the check.
'But sir,' he says, 'this check is only made out for $100.' 'That's right,' says the sardarji,

'I charged you $250 for sleeping with my wife.'

'But I didn't!' exclaims the Manager.

'Well,' the Sardarji replies, 'she was here, and you could have.'

Naughty SMS

Wife reads a book and tells her husband: A bull fucks 3000 times a year. U don't do quarter of that!

Husband says: Does d book say that d bull fucks d same cow?

************ ********* ********* ********* ******

Gang of sardars broke a bank,
But instead of cash they found glasses of lassi.
Happily they drank lassi n left.
Next day's headlines:

"SPERM BANK LOOTED".

************ ********* ********* ********* ********* *

Banta NE Suhag raat ko biwi se pucha: Kya tum VIRGIN ho?
Biwi: Ji, magar PEECHE se! Aur Tum?

Banta: Main bhi, magar aage se
************ ********* ********* ********* ******

VIRGIN AIRLINE's ad :

"TRY US"...

We are more experienced than our name suggests...! !"

Why are condoms transparent?

Why are condoms transparent ?

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Any Guesses?

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Don't u know...
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So that sperms can atleast enjoy the scene, even if their entry is
restricted.