men dont understand really

A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months. Nurses were in her
room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing her private area and
noticed that there was a slight response on the monitor when she touched
her. They tried it again and sure enough there was sizable movement.*

They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, as
crazy as this sounds, maybe a little "0ral sex" will do the trick &
bring her out of the coma."

The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close
the curtains for privacy.

The husband finally agreed and went into his wife's room. After a few
minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart rate. The
nurses run back into the room. "What happened!?" they cried.

The husband said, "I'm not sure; maybe she choked

black condom

This just-married white couple decided to make love on the wedding
night
in the hotel where they held their wedding. The wife did not want to
get
pregnant and requested the husband to buy a condom from a shop nearby.

When the husband went out, the wife waited anxiously in bed with all
the lights switched off. While the husband is out, a thief came into
the
room. The wife did not notice this and thought that it was her husband.
She grabs the man and happily begins doing it with him.

Afterwards, the wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep almost
immediately. In the mean time, the husband had a hard time looking for
a
shop that sold condoms and when he finally found one, he realized that
he had only 20 cents on him. He asked the shop owner to sell him one
condom and the shop owner asks him which he wants....

"The white condom, the lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black
condoms, which are of average quality, are 20 cents each. And the
purple
condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each." The husband, wanting the
best condom for the money he had on him, bought the black condom. When
he reached the hotel, he found his wife sleeping.

Without a warning, he jumps onto his wife and started making love. The
wife was surprised that the husband was as energetic as she enjoyed the
session.

Nine months later, the wife gave birth to a black baby boy. Years
later,
when the boy grows up, he asks the father "Pa, why I am black and you
are white?"

To which the father replies "You are damn lucky already, 5 cents more
and you would have been PURPLE!

Girl and psychiatrist

GIRL: I have sinned. I called my boyfriend a Maadarchod.


PSYCHIATRIST: Well now, that's not a nice thing to call anyone, so what did he do to deserve that?


GIRL: Well, he kissed me.


PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?


The psychiatrist kissed the girl


GIRL: ...... Yes!


PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a Madrchod.


GIRL: But, he put his hand in my top.


PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?


The psychiatrist put his hand in the girl's top


GIRL: Yes!


PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a Madrchod.


GIRL: But, he took my clothes off.


PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?


The psychiatrist took off the girl's clothes


GIRL: Yes!


PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a Madrchod.


GIRL: But, he had sex with me!


PSYCHIATRIST: You mean like this?


The psychiatrist had sex with the girl


GIRL: .Yes!


PSYCHIATRIST: Well that's no reason to call him a Madrchod.


GIRL: But, then he told me he has AIDS.


PSYCHIATRIST: Maadarchod !!!!!

Mothers milk

Students in an science class were taking a mid term. The last question was, "Name 7 advantages of Mothers Milk," worth 70 points or none at all. One student could only think of 6 advantages; he struggled to think of the seventh as he wrote the 6:

1. It is perfect formula for the child.
2.. It provides immunity against several diseases.
3. It is always at the right temperature.
4. It is inexpensive.
5. It bonds the child to mother, and vice versa.
6. It is always available as needed.

And then, the student was stuck. Finally, just before the bell indicating
the end of the test rang, he wrote:

7. It comes in such cute containers. He got an "A"

Is BUS..........male or female?

Is BUS..........male or female?

There is a classroom of some small children (5-7yrs),

with a genius boy (Bablu) and a smart one (Pappu ).The

dialogue between the two and the teacher goes

something like this:

Bablu: "Teacher, teacher! Is Bus male or female?

Teacher : Thinking.......

Pappu: "Teacher, teacher! It is female"

Bablu : "Kyon?"

Pappu: "Kyon ki sab log uspe chadte hain."

Teacher is pareshan. While Bablu gets in doubt.

Bablu: "Agar bus female hai aur sab uspe chadte hain

to uske bacche kyon nahin hote?"

Teacher is more pareshan.

Pappu : "Kyon ki sab us par peeche se chadte hain."

Teacher is now hiding her face.Bablu gets another

doubt.

Bablu: "Maana sabhi peeche se chadte hain, but driver

aur conductor to aagay se chadte hain. Phir bachche

kyon nahin hote?"

Teacher is sweating as it is getting too much to

handle.

Pappu replies: "Kyon ki woh dono topi pehanke chadte

hain."

Teacher faints !!!!!!!

Sexy mathematician

A professor of mathematics sent a fax to his wife. It read:

"Dear wife, You must realize that you are 54 years old and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18-year-old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight. - Your Husband"

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him that read as follows:

"Dear Husband. You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18-year-old pool boy. Being the brilliant mathematician that you are, you can easily appreciate the fact that 18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18. Don't wait up."

Jimmedari

Teacher: Jimmedari kya hoti hai ?
Student: Madam agar apke blouse k 4 batton me se 3 tut jaye to 4th pe jo aati hai, usko jimmedari kehte hai.

Time for sex

Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why ?
Dr: The compounder will not be here...

Night rate

Chemistry ki class main Teacher nay aik ladki say poocha,
'' What is Niterate?''
Ladki sharma kar
''Sir Night Rate 1500 aur Hotel charges alag say........

Nuns and Blind Man

Four nuns were assigned to paint a room in a church. It was a really warm day and the nuns were getting really hot in those black clothes they wear. So they took off all their clothes and went on painting naked.

Later they heard a knock on the door....

"Who is it???",

The man who knocked replied, "I'm the blind man".
So, the nuns decided to let him in since he would not be able to see them.

The man then looked around the room, then looked at them and said, "Nice bodies sisters, where do you want the blinds to be put??"