Tuesday, February 26, 2008

Reading personal messages


IF U WANT UR MANAGER NOT TO C UR PERSONAL MAILS THERE IS ONLY ONE WAY

TO CHECK UR MAIL



Samabavi ..MTV Roadies










American ...

A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an American.
She asks her students to raise their hands if they were American
too.
Not really knowing why but wanting to be like their teacher, their
hands explode into the air like flashy
fireworks.
There is, however, one exception.

A girl named Gita has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.

"Because I am not an American." replied Gita.
"Then", asks the teacher, "What are you?"
"I'm a proud Indian," boasts the little girl.
The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks
Gita why she is an Indian????

"Well", my mom and dad are Indians, "so I'm an Indian too."

The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason", she says loudly "if
your mom was an idiot, and your dad was an idiot, what would you be
then?"

A pause, and a smile.


"Then" says Gita, "I'd be an
American ."

The Salary Theory...

Dilbert's "Salary Theorem" states that "Engineers and scientists can never earn as much as business executives and sales people."


This theorem can now be supported by a mathematical equation based on the following two postulates:


As every engineer knows: Power = Work / Time


Since:

Knowledge = Power
Time = Money
Knowledge = Work/Money.


Solving for Money, we get:


Money = Work / Knowledge.


Thus, as Knowledge approaches zero, Money approaches infinity, regardless of the amount of work done.



Conclusion:


The less you know, the more you make.


Thanks


Madhur

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Simson outsourcing

Re: Pelli eppudu brother ,,by a girl

read ur article...first lo naku chala kopam vachindi kani last line chadivaaka kaasta taggindi... i cant understand y do boys feel that they r losing their freedom if they gonna marry..bhayapadalsindi ammailu kada coz realky they are going to lose their freedom. actual ga cheppalantey abbailu yenduku pelliki siddanga lerantey... 1--they want to njoy a lot in their life... 2--they dont want to take the burden of their family(wife, children...sooon..) 3--they want a responsible less life evanni kontamandi kaadu chaala mandi oppukoru paiga pelli cheskuntey vachey wife vallani restrict chestundani sollu matalu cheppii anta aa ammai meedikey toosestaru.. nijanga cheppalantey girls are losing their freedom by marrying.. not only their freedom but also their opiniions thinkings, vaalla istalu anni...pellaina tarvata vishayam verey pelli fix aindani teliyanganey ammai meeda dominate cheyyatam modalu pedtaru..vallatho matladaku..veellatho matladaku..akkadi vellaku..ikkadiki vellaku..ala undu,..ila undu..aa dressey veskoo antooo ila laksha conditionlu petti torture pedtaru..ippudey ila untey pellaina tarvata situation inkenta daarunanga untundoo oohinchukolem.. inka pelli choopula vishayaniki vastey maaku aa toture untundi...ishtam lekunna photolu teeskovatam pelli chupulu aney oka stupid idiot paddatini balavantanga kurchobedtaru..here i want to share 1 experience with u. oka sari naku pelli chupulu jarigayi when i was in 6th sem...kaani naku ishtam ledu aina intlo vaalu balavantam chesi kurchobettaru(abbai vaalla daddy, brother vacharu. idi chadivi deenni pelli chupulu antaaro leka inkeymaina antaaro nuvvey cheppali abbayi ki 29 yrs..then i was 23.. 3 yrs beverse anta monnaney yedo telecom lo job vachindata.. sal(18,000 in bglr) vachi kurchunnanu inka questions start ayyayi na peru kuda adagaledu.. direct ga yem chestunnaru ani adigaaru.. mca 6th sem annanu yenta percnt undi mca lo?....72 10th lo yenta undi?...68 inter degree lo yenta undi? 61&75 job chestava?.... yes yekkadaina studies lo fail ayyi yrs waste ayyaya?... i got angry..hurt...said NO he told yenduku adugutunnanatey yrs gap vastey job raadu kada so andukey mundu adigaanu ani annadu aa stupid after that u know frnds how much dowry he asked??? HE ASKED FOR A DOWRY OF 20,00,000 yes aksharaala 20 lacs??? what do u guys think of girls? and her parents?? thokkalo vaadu 18,000 thousand sampadistey adi bglr loo how can he feed hisfamily.... malli vaadiki anta katnam.. yem velaga bedtadooo yemooo adi vaala oorilooo yevaro anta katnam istamannarta aa vedhavaki so memu anta istey nannu pelli cheskuntadanta...kani ammailu kuda job chesi same sampadistunnaru kada maku meerenduku katnam ivvakudadu?? inka meekanna yekkuvey chestam...office ki vellali...evening vachintarvata inti pani chuskovali, vanta chesi pettali..we have to take care of whole family, malli poddunney lesi malli panulu start cheyyalli.. any ways u dont help her in house work..i think inni kastaalu ammailki pelli cheskuntey. kani y do guys feel they r thrown into difficulties when they get marry??? inta jarugutunna the girls(wife) dont expect any thing from u boys(husband) but just ur love and ur caring heart naaku telusu idi chadivina tarvata chaala mandi abbailu idi oppukoru ani but this is the truth.... if i ask that y u take dowry means ur ans will be "my parent are taking not me... i dont want to hurt them coz they invested on my education... i m not interested in taking dowry" perfectly this will be ur answer m i right? antey ammailu chadukoledaaaa? job cheyyatleda? vaalaki meeru yenta dowry ivvali allantappudu?? change anedi first okkarilo ninchey vastundi okatesaari andarilonu raadu.. if u r stubborn then ur parents will accept u.. u dont think like this coz some where u also r interested in taking it ok ok ippatikey chala time tinnatlunna.. boys ki chaala kopam vastundii... but this is my real life experience...not a story

Pelli eppudu brother






Sunday, February 17, 2008

Reliance Power Jokes

Dhirubhai - Beta, ye kya kiya, sarey investors ko mere paas bhej diya ?

Anil - Daddy, maine socha agar aap waha koi IPO laogey toh koi investor to hona chahiye !



RPL = Raha Paisa to Lengey

RIL = Risk In Life

RNRL = Rona Nahi phir bhi Ro Lengey

RPEL = Really Power-less Listing

REL = Roz Ek Lafda

RIIL = (Un)Reliable Intention, Is Lost

R.Cap = Roz Cap Utharo



Din ke ujale me Reliance Power ne Andhera dikhaya
Papa ka sapna ???? ???? ne mitti me milaya.




Anil Ambani's Next IPO - RELIANCE MOMBATTI LTD.....When power on RPower and Rel Energy will earn ....... when Power off also Reliance Mombatti will earn ... Them ..... either step by investors make earning for Reliance company


1)....Jeena RIL, Marna RIL, Coming Soon, Rel Hospital IPO, Rel Accident IPO. On Death, Free Electric funeral by RPOWER. Rel Zindagi Ke SAATH BHI, ZINDAGI ke BAAD BHI.


2)Dear ADAG members,
Thru self RELIANCE, u will have the POWER & ENERGY to bear all your losses. This COMMUNICATION is directly from our boss who is making CAPITAL on your behalf. Remember, U foolish investors are ou NATURAL RESOURCES.

Friday, February 15, 2008

Cow Vs Man

Tomato Story

A Jobless man applied for the position of 'office boy' at Microsoft.

The HR manager interviewed him then watched him cleaning the floor as a test.

'You are employed' he said. Give me your e-mail address and I'll send you the application to fill in, as well as date when you may start.

The man replied 'But I don't have a computer, neither an email'.

'I'm sorry', said the HR manager. If you don't have an email, that means you do not exist. And who doesn't exist, cannot have the job.'

The man left wi th no hope at all.
He didn't know what to do, with only $10 in his pocket. He then decided to go to the supermarket and buy a 10Kg tomato crate. He then
sold the tomatoes in a door to door round. In less than two hours,

he succeeded to double his capital. He repeated the operation three times, and returned home with $60.

The man realized that he can survive by this way, and started to go everyday earlier, and return late. Thus, his money doubled or tripled everyday.

Shortly, he bought a cart, then a truck, and then he had his own fleet of delivery vehicles.

5 years later, the man is one of the biggest food retailers in the US
He started to plan his family's future, and decided to have a life insurance.

He called an insurance broker, and chose a protection plan.
When the conversation was concluded the broker asked him his email.
The man replied,'I don't have an email.' The broker answered curiously, 'You don't have an email, and yet have succeeded to build an
empire. Can you imagine what you could have been if you had an e mail?!!' The man thought for a while and replied, 'Yes, I'd be an office boy at Microsoft!'

Moral of the story

Moral 1

Internet is not the solution to your life.

Moral 2

If you don't have Internet, but work hard, you can be a millionaire.

Moral 3

If you received this message by email, you are closer to being an
office boy/girl, than a millionaire........

Male vs female car models --- Soundar



















Good Wishes

New Hump ... By PK


Sunday, February 10, 2008

Love Vs Arranged marriage

A student asks a teacher, "What is love?"
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the
wheat
field and choose the biggest wheat and come back.
But the rule is: -
you can go through them only once & cannot turn back
to pick."
The student went to the field, go thru first row, he saw one big
wheat,
but he wonders....may be there is a bigger one later.
Then he saw another bigger one... but may be there is an even bigger
one waiting for him.
Later, when he finished more than half of the wheat field, he starts
to
realise that the wheat is not as big as the previous one he saw, he
knew he has missed the biggest one, and he regretted.
So, he ended up went back to the teacher with empty hand. The
teacher
told him, "...this is love... you keep looking for better ones, but
when later you realise, you have already missed the person ...."*
*"What is marriage then?" the student asked.
The teacher said, "in order to answer your question, go to the corn
field and choose the biggest corn and come back. But the rule is:
you
can go through them only once and cannot turn back to pick."
The student went to the corn field, this time he is careful not to
repeat the previous mistake, when he reach the middle of the field,
he
has picked one medium sized corn that he felt satisfied, and came
back to
the
teacher.
The teacher told him, "this time you bring back a corn.... you look
for
one that is just nice, and you have faith and believe this is the
best
one you get.... this is marriage."*

Friday, February 8, 2008

Quotes

Brave..

How to Make Your Cell Phone Battery Last Longer

While many of us now use cell phones in place of land-line phones in our homes, the primary benefit of cell phones remains their portability. A cell phone is only as portable as its power source, however, so to get the most out of your phone you need to get the most out of your battery. When it comes to battery life, there are two separate, but connected, considerations: how to make the battery last longer between charges, and how to prolong the overall life of the battery.
Increase Time between Charges
1. Turn the phone off. This is probably the most effective and simplest way of conserving your battery’s power. If you don't plan on answering the phone while you're sleeping or after business hours, just turn it off. Do the same if you are in an area with no reception (such as a subway or remote area) or in a roaming area, since constantly searching for service depletes the battery fairly quickly. Some phones have an automatic power save feature, but it takes about 30 minutes with no service to kick in. By then, much battery power has been used.
2. Stop searching for a signal. When you are in an area with poor or no signal, your phone will constantly look for a better connection, and will use up all your power doing so. This is easily understood if you have ever forgotten to turn off your phone on a flight. The best way to ensure longer battery life is to make sure you have a great signal where you use your phone. If you don't have a perfect signal, get a cell phone repeater which will amplify the signal to provide near perfect reception anywhere.
3. Switch off the vibrate function on your phone, and use just the ring tone instead. The vibrate function uses up a lot of battery power. Keep the ring tone volume as low as possible.
4. Turn off your phone's back light. The back light is what makes the phone easier to read in bright light or outside. However, the light also uses battery power. If you can get by without it, your battery will last longer. If you have to use the back light, many phones will let you set the amount of time to leave the back light on. Shorten that amount of time. Usually, one or two seconds will be sufficient. Some phones have an ambient light sensor, which can turn off the back light in bright conditions and enable it in darker ones.
5. Avoid using unnecessary features. If you know it will be a while before your phone’s next charge, don’t use the camera or connect to the Internet. Flash photography can drain your battery especially quickly. If your phone has bluetooth capability, disable it when not in use.
6. Keep calls short. This is obvious, but how many times have you heard someone on their cell phone say, "I think my battery’s dying," and then continue their conversation for several minutes? Sometimes, the dying battery is just an excuse to get off the phone (and a good one, at that), but if you really need to conserve the battery, limit your talk time.

Prolong the Life of Your Battery
1. Initialize a new battery. New batteries should be fully charged before their first use to obtain maximum capacity. Nickel-based batteries should be charged for 16 hours initially and run through 2-4 full charge/full discharge cycles, while lithium ion batteries should be charged for about 5-6 hours. Ignore the phone telling you that the battery is full--this is normal but is not accurate if the battery is not initialized.[1]
2. Keep the battery cool. Your battery will last longest if used near room temperature, and nothing wears on a battery like extended exposure to high temperatures. While you can’t control the weather, you can avoid leaving your phone in a hot car or in direct sunlight, and you don’t have to carry your phone in your pocket, where your body heat will raise its temperature. In addition, check the battery while it’s charging. If it seems excessively hot, your charger may be malfunctioning.
3. Charge your battery correctly, in accordance with its type. Most newer cell phones have lithium-ion batteries, while older ones generally have nickel-based batteries. Read the label on the back of the battery or in the technical specifications in the manual to determine which yours is.
o Nickel-based batteries (either NiCd or NiMH) suffer from a phenomenon known as the "memory effect." If you charge the battery partially enough times, eventually the battery "forgets" that it can charge fully. A nickel-based battery suffering from memory effect can be reconditioned, which requires the battery to be completely discharged, then completely recharged (sometimes several times). The appropriate length of time between reconditionings varies. A good rule to follow for nickel-battery cell-phones is to discharge them completely once every two to three weeks, and only when you have a charger available. [2]
o Lithium ion batteries, on the other hand, do not suffer from the same memory effect. However, many devices that use lithium batteries have a battery meter, showing the user how much charge the battery has left. Starting with a battery's manufacture at the factory, lithium ions oxidize in the battery, shortening its life. After a certain amount of time, the battery exhibits slightly different electronic properties, which the device can only detect when the battery is discharged. This type of problem is known as a "virtual memory effect" and occurs when your battery meter can show a high charge, then suddenly drop to low charge when the battery is almost dead. Every thirty cumulative cycles, you should discharge lithium ion batteries until the phone gives a low battery warning, then recharge it. If you discharge lithium ion batteries to zero voltage, the internal safety circuit may open. In that case, a normal charger will be inadequate. Reconditioning ensures that the battery meter on a lithium ion cellphone is accurate (although it will not affect actual battery capacity).
o Regardless of the battery type, use only a charger rated for your battery, and discontinue use of a charger that causes the battery to heat up excessively.
4. Store batteries properly. If your battery will be out of use for a while, disconnect it from the phone and store it in a cool place (the refrigerator is good, but freezing temperatures do not slow oxidation) and away from metal objects. Ensure that the battery is not exposed to moisture; try putting the battery in an airtight container or bag. Lithium ion batteries are not rated to operate at refrigerated temperatures, so let the battery sit outside the refrigerator for at least an hour before using it again. Lithium ion batteries oxidize least when they are stored at 40% charge. Never store a lithium battery at low voltage. Recharge batteries after storage.
5. Clean the battery contacts on the battery and on the phone. Over time, contacts may accumulate dirt. Clean them with a cotton swab and rubbing alcohol to maximize the efficiency of energy transfer. In addition, if the contacts are two different metals, such as gold and tin, accelerated corrosion known as "fretting" occurs. Cutting the corrosion from fretted contacts often requires solvents, such as acetone or nail polish remover. Be careful: these solvent dissolve plastic, so use a Q-Tip to avoid damaging the battery housing or the phone.

Battery Failure Indicators
• The usable time after recharging is shortened.
• The battery becomes unusually warm during a rechargecycle.
• The battery becomes unusually warm during phone use.
• The battery case often is swollen. This is detectable by feeling and viewing the inside/phone-side of the battery case. Also, when the battery is placed inside/phone-side down on a flat, smooth surface, it will rock and will sustain a spin motion. The case of a healthy battery is flat and will not sustain a spin motion.
• The battery develops a hard spot. This is detectable on the inside/phone-side surface of the battery by gently pinching about the surface between one's fingers.

Tips
• Regardless of how well you care for your battery, it will die eventually. When it does, you may be able to have it refurbished by sending it to the manufacturer or bringing it back to the retailer. If it cannot be refurbished, or if you just want to get a new battery, be sure to recycle it, either by returning it to the manufacturer or retailer, or by bringing it to a recycling center. Most major retail electronics stores have drop-off boxes for recycled phones.
• You should not have to turn off your phone to charge it. Most battery chargers deliver more than enough current to power your phone and charge it at the same time. Doing so will not lengthen the charge time, and leaving a phone on allows the user to be aware of its fuel gauge, so that you can remove it when the battery is full.
• When using a car charger, do not charge the battery when the inside temperature of your car is hot. Wait until the car has cooled before you plug in the phone.

Warnings
• Do not store a lithium battery with a very low charge for a long time, the battery monitor will draw a small current, which might cause a 'deep discharge' which may cause damage to the battery.
• Avoid cheap, knockoff chargers as they may cause excessive battery heating.
• When buying lithium ion batteries, be aware that oxidation begins at the time of manufacture, not the time of first use. As such, older lithium batteries will have reduced capacity (about 20% per year stored at room temperature). If you buy a battery at a clearance sale price, expect that you will get less life out of the cell phone.
• Never dispose of old batteries in the trash. Batteries contain toxic metals, and electronic waste from batteries and other electronic components is becoming a major problem. Improper disposal of toxic batteries is illegal in many jurisdictions.

Good Joke--A --By PK

A teacher in a mathematics lecture asks a 3rd std Class," If there are 3 birds on a tree and u shoot one of them, how many birds would remain?? ". Johnny, the naughtiest of the lot, shoots up his hand.
Teacher: "Ok Johnny, what’s the answer?”
Johnny: "None, Ma'am.”
Teacher: "How?"
Johnny: “After hearing the shot, all the other birds will also fly away."
Teacher: “No Johnny, the answer here is 2, but I like the way u r thinking.”

Now Johnny has a doubt.

Johnny: "Teacher can I ask u a question?
Teacher: "Sure"

Johnny: “There are three ladies having ice cream at the parlour. The first one is eating it; the second is licking it while the third one is sucking on it. Can you tell which one of the ladies is married??"

Teacher is terribly embarrassed, but she puts on a brave face and answers.
Teacher: "I....I......I guess the one which is sucking on the ice cream is married."
Johnny: "No ma'am, the one who has the wedding ring on her finger is married, BUT I LIKE THE WAY U R THINKIN!!!!!”

Men ..Love to go to atm

Wednesday, February 6, 2008

Rakesh Jhunjhunwala -- latest positions


Rakesh Jhunjhunwala – What is the Big Man bullish on?


Best Quote: If you find an idea that you are convinced of take a position which if proved correct makes a meaningful difference to your Balance Sheet.




Rakesh Jhunjhunwala's latest Portfolio








The Total value of this portfolio is Rs 3829 crores.

Colors in blue represent stocks where holdings have gone up and in red represent stocks where holdings have gone down.
Piquant Observations:

· One of the smartest investors in India believes in the benefits of portfolio concentration. His top 5 holdings account for 54.67% of his portfolio and his top 10 holdings account for almost 80.00% of his portfolio.

· This portfolio has the latest market cap and the Price to earnings ratio as spruced from money control. The average weighted market cap of the portfolio is Rs 5276 crores only whereas the average Price Earnings ratio adjusted for the companies that have no earnings is 52.77! But most of these smaller capitalized companies with earnings visibility and a big moat.

· It is said that he has exited his holding in Hindustan Oil and increased his stake in Rishi lazer.

· The underlying theme in the portfolio remains domestic consumption (Titan and Pantaloon,), Infrastructure (Nagarjuna Construction and Punj Lloyd) , pharma (Lupin and Bil Care) and financial Services (Crisil and Karur Vysya Bank.)

· It is very hard to find a cyclical or commodity stock in his portfolio.

· Unlike the general investor none of these stocks are large caps in the true sense of the definition. Of Course he could be holding future positions in large caps but the point that I am trying to make is money is made in small and mid caps only. The notional losses that an investor can suffer are also the highest in these stocks. It is very important for an investor not to convert these notional losses in actual losses by selling the shares in despair.

· Most of these stocks are being held for over 3 years. Companies like Titan, Pantaloon Retail fall in that category. Others like Crisil are being held for more then 5 years and some for even as long as 10 years. – Clearly Time and not timing is the key to these markets.

· Almost all these companies are looking at a huge external scale of opportunity whether it is a Titan or a Pantaloon a Nagarjuna Construction or Lupin the sheer size of the addressable market is humongous. – Morale of the story “See the Bigger Picture”.

· We do cover companies with huge scale of opportunity The Equity Desk Report card section.

· Rakesh has a special corner for companies that are engaged in consumer, infrastructure and pharmaceutical space. Otherwise he is betting on rising crude prices by buying stocks like Hindustan oil exploration and Praj Industries The overall portfolio is well diversified except that he is not holding any metal or cyclical stocks.

· These shares are held by Rakesh and his wife Rekha Jhunjhunwala and form a part of his disclosed portfolio. He could be holding more shares through companies, trusts, proprietary accounts which are not in the public domain.

· To know more about investing

Tuesday, February 5, 2008

Is the software profession losing its charm?

Strong rupee and sub price crisis of United States is troubling the Indian software companies. Various companies are trying to tide over the tough time by reducing the salary of its employees while some are going to the extreme of mass layoff.

















THE STRENGTHENING of rupee, imminent recession in US, sub prime mortgagee crisis in US and its worldwide coupling effect - it seems that everything is going against Indian software industry. On one side, due to slowdown in US economy and effect of sub prime crisis in US as well as in Europe, search of new clients and increasing the contracted rates are becoming tough for software companies and on the other side, whatever income realisation these companies are getting, the strong rupee has eaten it by more than 10 per cent.

Indian software companies are taking tough decisions in tough business environment for survival in this difficult time. The decisions are ranging from mild wage cut to as stiff as axing from job. On January 30, India’s largest software company Tata Consultancy Company (TCS) has announced to cut the variable component of its employee and on an average, the cut will affect the employee’s salary by anywhere between 1.5 – two per cent less this month and onwards. Though 1.5 – two per cent cut does not look very huge in the industry, which is suffering, but getting less salary is certainly pinching the employee. But it appears that the company may not have any other choice keeping in view that they have maintained the same level of salary despite appreciation of rupee since last one year. It is also correct that if a company’s stake holder and shareholder are facing lower returns (in the form of depreciated value of the company share), then some brunt should also be borne by the employee.

It is not that only employees of Indian software companies are in tough water, yesterday news has come that International Business Machines (IBM - the multinational software giant) is also trimming its payroll list. An estimated 700 fresher employees have been given the ‘pink slip’ (an American practice of retrenching people when notice of termination is given on a pink paper and wrapped in an envelope). Most of such employees are Entry Level Trainee Programmers (ELTPs). IBM is claiming that the layoff is based on the performance of the employee but sudden retrenchment, it seems, is an after effect of the poor performance of its India operations. It may be learnt that IBM does not have its own developed software as companies like TCS or Infosys do. Rather IBM provides complete software (for the software of TCS or Infosys or I-flex companies etc) solution package and it is something like contract services. So naturally, if the software companies will be affected then IBM performance also will be affected.

The hiring spree of the software companies is also at low ebb. It may be evident by the less number of recruitment advertisements appearing in the newspapers. Already so many software companies are suffering due to increasing number of attrition.

Though big companies are managing their profit during the year by hedging their overseas income through forward contract, the real acid test is for small and medium-sized companies who do not have a big established full-fledged treasury department. The small companies are really facing the worst time, as going for search of new customers and new currency (Euro) in Europe would be a tough task owing to wide spread sub prime crisis effect.
The share prices of all Indian software companies are at the lowest level in the near past. This shows that even Dalal Street is also not coming to rescue with software companies in tough times. Once a blue-eyed boy of Dalal Street, Infosys is showing lowered strength in each session of trading at the bourses