Exams and reservation

New Exam pattern in India (Revised):

1. General students - Answer ALL questions.

2. OBC - WRITE ANY one question.

3. SC - ONLY READ questions.

AND.

4. ST - THANKS FOR COMING…

CHEERS RESERVATION……

Dosti mein darar....

After marriage, ek baar Ramu ka ex-roommate Shamu uske ghar usse Milne

Aata hai.Ramu and his beautiful bride Situ really took care of Shamu.




He decided to stay there for the night. So, Ramu setup a dari and






















bedsheet for him on the verandah floor.






















At this Shamu retorted, "khud bistar par aur mujhe zamin par?






















lagta hai dosti main daraar aa gayi hai!"






















So,Ramu pacified him and setup a bed for him.






















Shamu again retorted , "khud andar aur mujhe bahar? lagta






















hai dosti main daraar aa gayi hai!"






















Ramu felt bad and set Shamu's bed in the drawing room.






















Shamu objected, "khud andar ac room main aur mujhe bahar






















garmi main? Ek waqt tha ki ham donon sote the ek hi kamre main!"!






















Ramu said that he was a married man now but Shamu again






















said, "lagta hai dosti main daraar aa gayi hai!"






















Ramu's bedroom could accomodate only a bed and a sofa, so






















Ramu setup Shamu in his bedroom on the sofa where the ac was fitted.






















After some time, Shamu woke up Ramu and said that he was






















uncomfortable on the lumpy sofa.






















At this, Ramu was very irritated and said,






















"Hadd ho gayi yar!! A line has to be drawn somewhere!"






















Shamu said, "Bas kya!! tu shadi ke baad ek dam badal gaya






















hai.lagta hai dosti main daraar aa gayi hai!"






















Ramu, the good soul that he was, relented and let Shamu






















sleep on the bed. His wife slept on the left side of the bed, himself






















in between and Shamu on the right.






















After some time Shamu again complained that he wanted to






















sleep in the middle of the bed as he kept falling off the bed when he changed sides.






















Ramu wailed, "This is too much, yaar! There is a limit to everything.. ."






















Shamu became very emotional and said, "Bas kya, you don't trust ME?!?






















lagta hai dosti main definitely daraar aa gayi hai!"






















Finally, good old Ramu gave in again, and let him old pesty






















pal sleep between him and his wife.






















In the morning, Shamu told Ramu, "Yaar, your wife is a very






















chalu lady. She held my tool all through the night !!!"






















Ramu quietly replied "That was me, and not my wife. I just had to do it!"...........
......

NAHI TO DARAAR ME DOSTI CHALI JAATI !!!!

25 tips for health living

25 TIPS FOR A HAPPIER LIEF STYLE…..


Make sure your hair is dry before going outside.

Get plenty of rest.


Visit the dentist regularly.



Dress right for the weather.

Brush twice a day!

Smile! It will make you feel better.

Control your drinking of alcoholic beverages.

Always wear a seatbelt.

Get outside in the sun every once in a while.

Eat right.

Stay away from too much caffeine.

Surround yourself with friends.
Read to exercise the brain.

Bathe regularly.

Don¢t over indulge yourself.


Eat plenty of vegetables.

Have your eyes checked regularly.
Get plenty of exercise.
Use the bathroom regularly.



Believe that people will like you for who you are.

Love your neighbor as yourself.

Pick up a hobby.
Celebrate all special occasions.
Forgive and forget.

HIV AIDS information

* HIV can never survive in any other liquid* medium also other than blood or semen (& please for God sake ... never in Pani Puri wala pani)

* Even if one drinks an HIV infected blood (or semen) of someone (ingest through Gastro Intestinal track), the virus can not survive in the acidic pH of stomach*. Highest extent of acidity is 0 (practically not possible) so imagine 1 as pH which is in our stomach. (This pH can burn your own finger in less than a second if you dip in that acid).

* Exposure of less than 1 second in AIR KILLS the HIV virus* (hence story of needle pricks in Cinema theatres is a crap). Even if blood from a wound (of infected person) dries up (*blood clot*), *the virus dies*and can not infect anyone else

* HIV transmission is *ONLY* an *INFECTION* i.e.entrance of virus in one's body. It *DOES NOT MEAN AIDS*.

* An HIV-infected person (after entrance of virus) can progress to a condition of AIDS only after *8 to 10 YEARS *(not in 15 days as in the Pani Puri story)

* It is *not HIV (virus) that kills a human* .....the virus attacks immune cells (cells that fight against foreign pathogens/antigens) and hence a person's ability to fight against infections & diseases slowly diminishes and person ultimately dies of a disease which could be as simple as TB

* Most importantly, HIV is no longer a dreadful disease ... it is "*CHRONIC MANAGEABLE DISEASE*" just like Diabetes or Hypertension.

* If there is anything you need to be careful from to prevent HIV is Unsafe sex*, *Blood transfusion* (check before taking) /Blood donation (use sterilized needles only) and any *blood contact during an accident *or so where amount of bleeding is very high.

PLZ spread this message to avoid rumors and to educate people.

Marriage biodata format

You can get marriage biodata format in PDF or word document by entering the details in
http://biodata4marriage.com/

*****************************************************************************************************

Marriage Biodata

Personal Details

Name :

Date of Birth :

Nikshatram :

Gothram :

Uncle's Gothram :

Height :

Color :

Education :

Occupation :

Working :

Annual Salary :
Religion:

Family Details:

Father's Information:

Name :
Occupation :

Mother's Information

Name :
Occupation :

Sister's / Brother's Information

Name :

Requirements/Expectations

Looking for a simple good looking educated girl from a good family background.

Education :

Contact address

address with mobile numbers etc

*******************************************************************************************

You can get marriage biodata format in PDF or word document by entering the details in
http://biodata4marriage.com/

 

If you like this post ur comments

Other marraige posts Marriage Jokes & Views

Sardar jokes

American told sardar : Hamare desh me 90% shaadi e-mail se hoti hai.
Sardar : Kya bath hai. Hamari desh me 100% female se hoti hai.


Where were you born ?
sardar : Punjab.
Boss : which part ?
sardar : Kya which part ? Whole body born in punjab.



Sardar : What is the name of your car ?
Lady : I forgot the name, but is starts with "T".
Sardar : Oye Kamaal ki gaadi hai, Tea se start hoti hai. Hamaara
3.gaadi petrol se start hoti hai.



Sardar was busy removing a wheel from his auto. A man asks sardar why are you removing a wheel from your auto.
sardar : Cant you read the board. Parking is only for 2 wheeler

Interviewer : When is your birthday.
Sardar : 13th Oct.
Interviewer : which year ?
sardar : Oye Ullu ke patte : Every year.

2 sardar were fixing a bomb in a car.
Sardar 1 : What would you do if the bomb explodes while fixing.
sardar 2 : Dont worry, I have a one more

Cabs bandh in hyderabad..airport update

i had a chance to talk to Meeru taxi's they confirmed that they will pick up the people from airport to city and not from city to airport.So now the best way to go to airport is only by Aero express buses.

GMR has already increased the number of buses to airport.and number of people going by aeroexpress also increased so be well before your start time.

hoping this cabs bandh should come to an end..


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easy cabs 040 43434343

meeru cabs 040 44224422

Difference

Description of prostitute, wife & girlfriend in mobile language?

First one is prepaid, second is postpaid and the last one is democard.

Good manners

During one of her daily classes, a teacher trying to teach good
manners,
asked her students the following question:

"Michael, if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady,
how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?"

Michael said: "Just a minute I have to go pee."

The teacher responded by saying: "That would be rude and impolite.
What about you Sherman, how would you say it?"

Sherman said: "I am sorry, but I really need to go to the bathroom.
I'll
be right back."

"That's better, but it's still not very nice to say the word bathroom
at
the dinner table.

And you, little Johnny, can you use your brain for once and show us
your
good manners?"

Johnny said "I would say: Darling, may I please be excused for a
moment?
I have to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom I hope to
introduce to you after dinner."

I am ur husband

A man and a woman were drowsing contentedly in a bed,
subsequent to an afternoon of intense love making.
.
Suddenly there is the sound of a car pulling up alongside the curb
outside.
.
Partly woke up and startled, the woman pokes the man and said, "Oh shit, quick get running, that's my stupid husband."
.
With a speed of lightening, the man throws himself out of the bed, picks up his clothes, rushes to the window nude, about to jump out and suddenly stops dead.
.
"What do you mean?" he bellows, "I AM your husband!"

Come let us

A ten year old girl rushes to her grandmother and asks her, “Can I be pregnant?"

Grandmother, "Are you fooling. You can not be pregnant. Go and play out side."

The girl then goes to grandfather and asks him the same question and the reply also is the same.

The girl goes to her father with the same question and gets a slap on her face with a same reply.

Finally she goes to her mother and asks her, “Mama, Can I be pregnant?"
Mama shouts at her “You madcap. You fool. You can not. Don't even think like that."

Girl comes out of her building to meet her twelve year old boy-friend and shouts at him, “See every body has confirmed that I can not be pregnant. There is nothing to worry. You always worry unnecessarily. Come let us ......."

Helping man

A man died and went to The Judgment. St. Peter met him at the Gates of Heaven and
said, "Before you meet with God, I thought I should tell you—we've looked at your life, and you really didn't do anything particularly good or bad. We're not at all sure what to do with you. Can you tell us anything you did that can help us make a decision?"

The newly arrived soul thought for a moment and replied, "Yeah, once I was driving along and came upon a woman who was being harassed by a group of bikers. So I pulled over, got out my tire iron, and went up to the leader of the bikers. He was a big, muscular, hairy guy with tattoos all over his body and a ring pierced through his nose. Well, I tore the nose ring out of his nose, and told him he and his gang had better stop bothering the
woman or they would have to deal with me!"

"I'm impressed," St. Peter responded. "When did this happen?"

"About two minutes ago," came the reply.

HR love letter

Ever wondered how a HR Manager could write a love letter to his girlfriend?
Hope you would enjoy it.


To, Ms. XYZ Agarwal 7.0 S.M

Sub: Offer of love!

Dearest Ms XYZ,

I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in Love with you since the 20th of October (Thursday). With reference to the meeting held between us on the 19th of Oct. at 1500hrs, I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of three months and depending on compatibility, would be made permanent. Of course, upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the job training and performance appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later, based on your performance, I might take! up a larger share of the expenses. However I am broadminded enough to be taken care of, on your expense account.

I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving this letter, failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy, if you could forward this letter to your sister, if you do not wish to take up this offer.
Wish you all the best!


Thanking you in anticipation,


Yours sincerely,

Warewolf ...by varshu

Hey, guys!

Last Halloween I wrote a story and guess what "It got published".

The book's name is "Kalleidoscope- Writers' Connection 2007-2008", an online creative writing project.

It is a collection of selected stories published from a few schools in Toronto.Mine is on page 97 to 98 of 150 pages.The stories were compiled by Emily Hern and it is 19th edition.

With love,

varshu

Changes for the Worst

“I, Dr. Kelly am a scientist”. An alarm rang and I thought it was a fire. opened my eyes, and then I realized I was in bed. It was 7:45 AM. Then I woke up and had my breakfast. I had pancakes with maple syrup. I grabbed a glass of milk which was on the table and gulped it. I took the plate and the glass and placed them in the dishwasher. Then I walked to the basement.

My assistant was there. His name was Matt Duff. He had spiky hair. Matt said “Good Morning Dr. Kelly,” then he asked “what are we going to do today?” I re-plied “I am going to try making a volcano without vinegar and baking soda”. I asked Matt to give me the test tubes.

I sat on the couch and thinking about the volcano and climbed the climbed the stairs. I went to the hall and went in the backyard. I sat on a chair and then saw a purple liquid in the glass. It was shinning. Then I called “Matt”. He had the test tubes. I said “Matt can I have a tube and then he gave it to me”. Then I took the glass and poured the liquid into the test tube. So I went to my lab. I poured it into my latest device. The device would identify the liquid, but as the liquid in the glass is unknown, the device could not identify it.

So there was only one way to try it. I wanted to test it on Matt. I didn’t want Matt to know about it. Then I got an idea. I poured the chemical in to a glass and gave it to Matt and said “hey, Matt how about some wine”. I gave it to him. He said “thank you” and drank. For a minute it was quiet. Then I saw a yellow light from his back. Then it got brighter and bigger. The he started to rise. I couldn’t believe I was seeing this. It was scary. Then he stared to float in the air. Then we were at the same height. A red light came from Matt’s chest and went in to my chest. Then we fell down and I went unconscious. Then I had no idea what happened. Then I woke up. I saw an orange light. I screamed. When my mouth opened the light went in to my mouth. So I went unconscious again.

When I woke up everything was okay except I had grey hair all over my hands. I ran to the mirror. Then I discovered I was turned in to a Ware wolf. But I still had a big brain. I tried to shout help but all came out my mouth was “aaaaaaaawwwwwwooooooo....” I was really scared. I didn’t know what to do.

I went to the back yard again. I saw some more of it. I tried to grab it but I heard a noise. It was loud. It was Matt with my latest weapon. So I ran until I hit the fence. So then I hit the fence and it broke.

“Wow that was pretty good” I said to my self. So I continued running. I lived in Britain. He chased me all over London. I stopped and “Matt it is me don’t kill me”. Suddenly I felt pain in my body. I dropped on the hard asphalt. I felt rough. Then I had no idea what happened. Then I woke up again I felt evil. I shouted “aaaaaaaaawwwwwwooooooooo…”

So I ran into the woods. I waited for a month. It was very cold. In the day I used to sleep on the leaves. I was awake at night. I heard a big engine noise. It was an airplane in the sky. But I also become a normal wolf. Until I saw two bright lights, they were heading towards me. So I ran and to another tree. It was a car. It crashed in to a tree. I ran to the car. I used my jaws to get the person out. Then I bit him. He screamed. He suddenly shrank and become a wolf. We stayed together. Now there was only a day left to full moon. We spent the day sleeping and when it was night we saw a round moon.

We grew bigger. We shouted “aaaaaawwwwoo…”

We were heading towards London. A car hit the other Ware wolf. I ran to my home as fast as I can. I went in to my back yard. I had the chemical. I floated and even the other Ware wolf did and I found out the other Ware wolf was Matt. We were turned back in to humans and we were happy.

-------------------------The End!-----------------------

Compiler's Comments:
Dear Varshu: That was a prolonged and involved adventure"you", Dr. Kelly and your assistant had in London when you turned into werewolves after offering Matt the purple liquid that started your transformations and then caused his when you bit him. What a relief it must have been when "you"finally returned home to the chemical that restored you to a human state. You, Varshu, are clearly a story teller who enjoys marking up characters and creating intricate plots that involve them. I'll enjoy reading more from your fertile mind....Emily

Lost wife

The man approached a very beautiful woman in the large supermarket and asked, "You know, I have lost my wife here in this supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"
"Why?" the woman asked.
"Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

DEATHS THAT MADE EVEN TOP DOCTORS WONDER...

This case happened in a hospital's Intensive care ward where Patients always
died in the same bed and all on Sunday mornings at 11a.m, regardless of their
medical condition.

This puzzled the doctors and some even thought that it had something to do with
the supernatural.

No one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths took place at 11 AM.

So a world-wide expert team was constituted and they decided to go down to the
ward to investigate the cause of the incidents. So on next Sunday morning few
minutes before 11 a.m. all doctors and nurses nervously waited outside the ward
to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. Some were
holding wooden crosses, prayer books and other holy objects to ward off
evil........

Just when the clock struck 11 am..

they saw something which left them zapped......

.....................

............................

.................................


.........................................


................................................


..........................................................


Santa Singh, the part-time sweeper for Sunday, entered the ward and

Unplugged the life support system & plugged in the vacuum cleaner !!!

Washer man,donkey and dog story

There was once a washer man who had a donkey and a dog. One night when the whole world was sleeping, a thief broke into the house, the washer man was fast asleep but the donkey and the dog were awake. The dog decided not to bark since the master did not take good care of him and wanted to teach him a lesson. The donkey got worried and said to the dog that if he doesn't bark, the donkey will have to do something himself. The dog did not change his mind and the donkey started braying loudly. Hearing the donkey bray, the thief ran away, the master woke up and started beating the donkey for braying in the middle of the night for no reason.

Moral of the story " One must not engage in duties other than his own"........................


Now take a new look at the same story…


The washer man was a well educated man from a premier management institute. He had the fundas of looking at the bigger picture and thinking out of the box. He was convinced that there must be some reason for the donkey to bray in the night. He walked outside a little and did some fact finding, applied a bottom up approach, figured out from the ground realities that there was a thief who broke in and the donkey only wanted to alert him about it. Looking at the donkey's extra initiative and going beyond the call of the duty, he rewarded him with lot of hay and other perks and became his favorite pet. The dog's life didn't change much, except that now the donkey was more motivated in doing the dogs duties as well. In the annual appraisal the dog managed a " meets requirement" Soon the dog realized that the donkey is taking care of his duties and he can enjoy his life sleeping and lazing around. The donkey was rated as "star performer". The donkey had to live up to his already high performance standards. Soon he was over burdened with work and always under pressure and now is looking for a job rotation…

Moral ..."Just do your work.."

If you have worked in a corporate environment, I am sure you haveguessed the characters of the new story.

Cabs Bandh in Hyderabad- Andhra Pradesh(AP)

Cab operators of AP are likely to call for a strike from 5th June’2008 against the VAT/sales tax imposed by Commercial Taxes Dept of AP.We are given to understand that they have set the deadline of 4thJune’08 for the resolution and withdrawal of the VAT failing which the suspension shall go in force.


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easy cabs 040 43434343

meeru cabs 040 44224422

auto park - 2

Auto park -1

Danger: coca -cola and Mentos

A little boy died in Brazil after eating MENTOS and drinking Coca-Cola / PEPSI together. One year before the same accident happened with another boy in Brazil . Please check the experiment that has been done by mixing Coca-Cola (or Coca-Cola Light) with MENTOS .
So be careful with your self eating MENTOS (POLO's) and drinking COCA-COLA or PEPSI together. CHECK THIS OUT...

Camera Trick

New dress ..fashion

Tara aunty paintings

Tajmahal

Shining Mountain Dew

Technology changed our lives

How technology changed us ........
?
?
?
?
?
?
?
?

Men can do anything

Mukesh ambani's house

Owners of 168 cars

The house is 173.12 metres tall, equal to a 60-floor building. However, his home will have only 27 floors, meaning that every floor will have an extremely high ceiling.

The first six floors are intended exclusively as a parking area, for cars which belong to the Mukesh family. A total of 168.

The eighth floor is an entertainment centre with a mini theatre and about 50 seats. The ceiling of the mini theatre is a garden and above it are three more balconies with special gardens – a replica of the gardens of Babylon.


27 floors for a 6-member family

The ninth floor was created for emergency rescue, while two floors above it are reserved for treatments and health.

One of them is furnished with sports equipment, halls and a swimming pool, while the other is a cutting edge gym. Above the health floors are guest rooms which have glass walls instead of classic ones.

The first four floors have a wonderful view of the Arabian Sea and the city itself. These floors are intended for Mukesh, his wife Neeta, their three children and Mukesh`s mother Kokilaben.

600 servants

The top two floors will be maintenance rooms and a control room, which will assist helicopters as they land on the roof

A 600-man permanently employed staff is necessary for maintenance. The home took four years to be built. Atilla does not only impress with its size, but with its most luxurious interior design.

Mukesh owns Reliance Industries, the largest Indian private oil and bio technology company. During the time of Mukesh`s father Dhiru Bhai, wealthy Indians used to hide their fortune.
Obviously, this trend has changed and those who have money want to show it to the entire world

via Javno.com

Condom packs

A father and his son go into the drug store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.
The father replies, "Well, you see that 3 pack? That`s for when you`re in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night."
Nodding agreement, the son asks his father, "Then what`s the 6 pack for?"
"That`s for when you`re in college," the father says. "You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning."
Following this line of logic, the son enthusiastically asks what the 12 pack is for.
"That`s for when you`re married, son. You have one for January, one for February, one for March..."