husband,wife and blind man

A husband and wife are waiting at the bus stop; with them are their 8Children... A blind man joins them after a few minutes. When the bus arrives, they find it overloaded and only the wife and her eight children are able to fit in the bus. So the husband and the blind man decide to walk.. After a while the husband gets irritated by the ticking of the stick of the blind man and says to him, "Why don't you put a piece of rubber at the end of your stick, that ticking sound is driving me crazy!! The blind man replies: "If you would've put a rubber on the end of YOUR stick, we'd be sitting in the bus! So shut up and keep walking!!!!"

Why are condoms transparent?

Why are condoms transparent ?

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Any Guesses?

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Don't u know...
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So that sperms can atleast enjoy the scene, even if their entry is
restricted.

religious boy friend and chemist father

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The Chemist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.

'Well,' he said, 'I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's 'the' night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack.'

The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree.

He begins the prayer, but continues praying with his head down for several minutes after everyone starts eating.

The girl leans over and says, 'You never told me that you were such a religious person.'

He leans over to her and says, 'You never told me that your father is a Chemist.'

condom and flu

Miss Beatrice, the church organist, was in her eighties and had never been married.

She was admired for her sweetness and kindness to all.

One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint

sitting room.

She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea.

As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a CUT -glass

bowl sitting on top of it.The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated,

of all things, a condom!


When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat.


The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange

floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist.



'Miss Beatrice', he said, 'I wonder if you would tell me about this?' pointing

to the bowl.


'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the Park a few


months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to
place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.


Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.'

black condom

This just-married white couple decided to make love on the wedding
night
in the hotel where they held their wedding. The wife did not want to
get
pregnant and requested the husband to buy a condom from a shop nearby.

When the husband went out, the wife waited anxiously in bed with all
the lights switched off. While the husband is out, a thief came into
the
room. The wife did not notice this and thought that it was her husband.
She grabs the man and happily begins doing it with him.

Afterwards, the wife was so exhausted that she fell asleep almost
immediately. In the mean time, the husband had a hard time looking for
a
shop that sold condoms and when he finally found one, he realized that
he had only 20 cents on him. He asked the shop owner to sell him one
condom and the shop owner asks him which he wants....

"The white condom, the lowest quality, is 15 cents each. The black
condoms, which are of average quality, are 20 cents each. And the
purple
condom, highest quality, is 25 cents each." The husband, wanting the
best condom for the money he had on him, bought the black condom. When
he reached the hotel, he found his wife sleeping.

Without a warning, he jumps onto his wife and started making love. The
wife was surprised that the husband was as energetic as she enjoyed the
session.

Nine months later, the wife gave birth to a black baby boy. Years
later,
when the boy grows up, he asks the father "Pa, why I am black and you
are white?"

To which the father replies "You are damn lucky already, 5 cents more
and you would have been PURPLE!

Condom packs

A father and his son go into the drug store when they happen upon the condom aisle. The son asks his father why there are so many different boxes of condoms.
The father replies, "Well, you see that 3 pack? That`s for when you`re in high school. You have 2 for Friday night and 1 for Saturday night."
Nodding agreement, the son asks his father, "Then what`s the 6 pack for?"
"That`s for when you`re in college," the father says. "You have 2 for Friday night, 2 for Saturday night, and 2 for Sunday morning."
Following this line of logic, the son enthusiastically asks what the 12 pack is for.
"That`s for when you`re married, son. You have one for January, one for February, one for March..."