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Balayya Jokes
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
Monday, October 20, 2008
Post it ..success story
3M Corporation had a problem with glue it had invented; it did not stick things together effectively. Then one of its chemists, Arthur Frye, thought a way of combining the glue with a bookmark, which is something you want to move from page to page, so glue that did not stick too strongly would be appropriate. His combination was the Post-it-note.
3M launched the product in 1977 but it failed as consumers had not tried the product. A year later 3M issued free samples to residents of Boise, Idaho, United States. 90% of people who tried them said that they would buy the product.
By 1980 the product was being sold nationwide in the US; a year later Post-its were launched in Canada and Europe.
3M launched the product in 1977 but it failed as consumers had not tried the product. A year later 3M issued free samples to residents of Boise, Idaho, United States. 90% of people who tried them said that they would buy the product.
By 1980 the product was being sold nationwide in the US; a year later Post-its were launched in Canada and Europe.
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Icici bank clarifies to customers about rumors
Dear Customer, We are aware that you are being misled by numerous malicious and baseless rumors. Many of these are via SMSes. Many of our customers have written in to us expressing solidarity and confidence in our relationship, and have mentioned they have dismissed these rumors, for which we are grateful. Still we know that these rumors may cause you distress and doubts. You are our valued customer and we would not like you to have any of these feelings. So we have now chosen to write to you directly to allay your concerns if any. You would have seen the categorical endorsement of the soundness of Indian banking as well as ICICI Bank's sound financial health from the RBI and the Finance Minister. You would have also read about the unequivocal certificate of confidence reposed on us by S&P an independent rating agency of repute. We have categorically and in a transparent manner disclosed that
Your bank has grown and achieved its status of pre-eminence due to the patronage and trust you have reposed thus far in us. We have made many an Indian smile with a house, car and every banking need dreamed of by Indians. I am sure nothing factually or otherwise has changed in our relationship that we should let baseless rumors cast doubts in your mind. We once again want to reaffirm to you that the bank you have built and assisted to grow to pre-eminence will be with you day and night. We take pride in serving you and being the bank of your first choice. We desire and request the continuance of your unwavering trust and relationship. We promise to you that not only your deposits but all your interests are safe and secure with us. In case you need to reach us, kindly write to us at customer.care@icicibank.com. Sincerely V. Vaidyanathan |
Saturday, October 11, 2008
Software guy and his wife
Message #77226 of 77281 < Prev | Next >
A conversation between a husband, who is software professional n his wife.
HUSBAND - HAI DEAR,I AM LOGGED IN.
WIFE - WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SOME SNACKS
HUSBAND - HARD DISK FULL.
WIFE - HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE SAREE.
HUSBAND - BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.
WIFE - BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT IN MORNING
HUSBAND - ERRONEOUS SYNTAX, ABORT, RETRY, CANCEL.
WIFE - HAE BHAGWAN ! FORGET IT WHERE'S YOUR SALARY.
HUSBAND - FILE IN USE, READ ONLY, TRY AFTER SOME TIME.
WIFE - ATLEAST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD, I CAN DO SOME SHOPPING.
HUSBAND - SHARING VIOLATION, ACCESS DENIED.
WIFE - I MADE A MISTAKE IN MARRYING YOU.
HUSBAND - DATA TYPE MISMATCH.
WIFE - YOU ARE USELESS.
HUSBAND - BY DEFAULT.
WIFE - WHO WAS THERE WITH YOU IN THE CAR THIS MORNING?
HUSBAND - SYSTEM UNSTABLE PRESS CTRL, ALT, DEL TO REBOOT.
WIFE - WHAT IS MY VALUE IN YOUR LIFE?
HUSBAND - UNKNOWN VIRUS DETECTED.
WIFE - DO YOU LOVE ME OR YOUR COMPUTER?
HUSBAND - TOO MANY PARAMETERS.
WIFE - I WILL GO TO MY DADS HOUSE.
HUSBAND - PROGRAM PERFORMED ILLEGAL OPERATION,IT WILL CLOSE.
WIFE - I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR EVER.
HUSBAND - CLOSE ALL PROGRAMS & LOG OUT FOR ANOTHER USER.
WIFE - It IS WORTHLESS TALKING TO YOU.
HUSBAND - SHUT DOWN THE COMPUTER.
WIFE - I AM GOING
HUSBAND - ITS NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.
A conversation between a husband, who is software professional n his wife.
HUSBAND - HAI DEAR,I AM LOGGED IN.
WIFE - WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE SOME SNACKS
HUSBAND - HARD DISK FULL.
WIFE - HAVE YOU BROUGHT THE SAREE.
HUSBAND - BAD COMMAND OR FILE NAME.
WIFE - BUT I TOLD YOU ABOUT IT IN MORNING
HUSBAND - ERRONEOUS SYNTAX, ABORT, RETRY, CANCEL.
WIFE - HAE BHAGWAN ! FORGET IT WHERE'S YOUR SALARY.
HUSBAND - FILE IN USE, READ ONLY, TRY AFTER SOME TIME.
WIFE - ATLEAST GIVE ME YOUR CREDIT CARD, I CAN DO SOME SHOPPING.
HUSBAND - SHARING VIOLATION, ACCESS DENIED.
WIFE - I MADE A MISTAKE IN MARRYING YOU.
HUSBAND - DATA TYPE MISMATCH.
WIFE - YOU ARE USELESS.
HUSBAND - BY DEFAULT.
WIFE - WHO WAS THERE WITH YOU IN THE CAR THIS MORNING?
HUSBAND - SYSTEM UNSTABLE PRESS CTRL, ALT, DEL TO REBOOT.
WIFE - WHAT IS MY VALUE IN YOUR LIFE?
HUSBAND - UNKNOWN VIRUS DETECTED.
WIFE - DO YOU LOVE ME OR YOUR COMPUTER?
HUSBAND - TOO MANY PARAMETERS.
WIFE - I WILL GO TO MY DADS HOUSE.
HUSBAND - PROGRAM PERFORMED ILLEGAL OPERATION,IT WILL CLOSE.
WIFE - I WILL LEAVE YOU FOR EVER.
HUSBAND - CLOSE ALL PROGRAMS & LOG OUT FOR ANOTHER USER.
WIFE - It IS WORTHLESS TALKING TO YOU.
HUSBAND - SHUT DOWN THE COMPUTER.
WIFE - I AM GOING
HUSBAND - ITS NOW SAFE TO TURN OFF YOUR COMPUTER.
Bad news follows Satyam ...World Bank bans Satyam from Offshoring
11 Oct 2008, 2013 hrs IST,AGENCIES |
| NEW YORK: Software major Satyam Computer Services has reportedly been banned from doing any off-shore work with the World Bank after forensic experts and bank investigators discovered that spy software was covertly installed on workstations inside the bank's Washington headquarters, allegedly by one or more contractors from Satyam Computer Services. According to a FOX News report, apart from Satyam, two IP intrusions have been reported from China, and there have been six intrusions in all. Investigators say that the software, which operates through a method known as keystroke logging, enabled every character typed on a keyboard to be transmitted to a still-unknown location via the Internet. Upon its discovery, bank officials shut off the data link between Washington and Chennai, where Satyam has long operated the bank's sole offshore computer center responsible for all of the bank's financial and human resources information. "I want them off the premises now," World Bank President Robert Zoellick reportedly told his deputies. But at the urging of CIO De Poerck, Satyam employees remained at the bank as recently as October 1 while it engaged in "knowledge transfer" with two new India-based contractors. Satyam is publicly listed on the New York Stock Exchange and boasts having two billion dollars in sales and more than 150 Fortune 500 companies as clients. In 2003, Satyam won a lucrative five-year "sole source" contract to design, write and maintain all of the World Bank's information systems. The contract, which began at $10 million, had grown to over $100 million by 2007. This year, the contract was not renewed. Satyam has declined to comment. FOX News claims that outsiders have raided the World Bank Group's computer network, one of the largest repositories of sensitive data about the economies of every nation, repeatedly for more than a year. It is still not known how much information was stolen. But sources inside the bank confirm that servers in the institution's highly restricted treasury unit were deeply penetrated with spy software last April. Invaders also had full access to the rest of the bank's network for nearly a month in June and July. The crisis comes at an awkward moment for Zoellick, who runs the world's largest and most influential anti-poverty agency, which doles out $25 billion a year, and whose board represents 185 member nations. This weekend, the bank holds its annual series of meetings in Washington, and just in advance of those sessions, Zoellick called for a radical revamping of multilateral organizations in light of the global economic meltdown. Zoellick is positioning himself and the bank as an institution that can help chart a new path toward global financial stability. But that reputation, more than ever, depends on the bank's stable information infrastructure. According to internal memos, "a minimum of 18 servers has been compromised," including some of the bank's most sensitive systems, ranging from the bank's security and password server to a Human Resources server "that contains scanned images of staff documents." One World Bank director told FOX News that as many as 40 servers have been penetrated, including one that held contract-procurement data. It took ten days for bank officials to detect that they'd been invaded. Once they did, they shut down all external servers, except for e-mail, which it turns out the invaders were already using as their entrance point. A World Bank spokesman, however, rubbished the Fox News story, saying it is riddled with falsehoods and errors. Source : The times of India Link : http://timesofindia.indiatimes.com/Business/No_offshoring_to_Satyam_World_Bank/articleshow/3584627.cms |
What happens if ICICI bank goes down...
This is a good article which explains what happens to our money if icici bank goes down.
some important points are
1.deposits upto 1 lakh under one name in different branches will be considered as one account and will be given maximum of only 1 lakh rupees if bank is shutdown.So if you deposited money in total is above 1 lakh try to shift it to some other bank ....
2.If bank goes shutdown then to get this 1 lakh money it may take time like atleast 2-4 weeks so if you feel banks position is bad then remove the money from the account .
and you can read more about this here
http://deadpresident.blogspot.com/2008/10/what-if-icici-goes-bust.html
some important points are
1.deposits upto 1 lakh under one name in different branches will be considered as one account and will be given maximum of only 1 lakh rupees if bank is shutdown.So if you deposited money in total is above 1 lakh try to shift it to some other bank ....
2.If bank goes shutdown then to get this 1 lakh money it may take time like atleast 2-4 weeks so if you feel banks position is bad then remove the money from the account .
and you can read more about this here
http://deadpresident.blogspot.com/2008/10/what-if-icici-goes-bust.html
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Tuesday, October 7, 2008
Airtel call home ..call india cheap
I ma currently using 'Airtel Call home service' to call India .I happy with the clarity and offers which come in airtel.
I use local access numbers given in Airtel call home website.With that i call @ a cheap rate to my house.I also get bonus talk time when i refer some of my friends .
I also get some more talk time when i recharge also.
One bad thing is that when you register some times you may get 'exception page' or 'error page' putting you in confused state ,you can call the customer care people and talk to them you will get the password etc from them easily.
Calling customer care ..you should have patience to wait in line for at least 5-6 minutes based on time you call them.
I will rate as 4.5/5
I use local access numbers given in Airtel call home website.With that i call @ a cheap rate to my house.I also get bonus talk time when i refer some of my friends .
I also get some more talk time when i recharge also.
One bad thing is that when you register some times you may get 'exception page' or 'error page' putting you in confused state ,you can call the customer care people and talk to them you will get the password etc from them easily.
Calling customer care ..you should have patience to wait in line for at least 5-6 minutes based on time you call them.
I will rate as 4.5/5
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
RBI says about ICICI bank rumors
RBI Statement on ICICI Bank's Financial Position
There are reports in some sections of the media that based on rumours regarding the
financial strength of ICICI Bank, depositors are withdrawing cash at its ATMs and branches in
some locations.
It is clarified that the ICICI Bank has sufficient liquidity, including in its current account
with the Reserve Bank of India, to meet the requirements of its depositors. The Reserve Bank
of India is monitoring the developments and has arranged to provide adequate cash to ICICI
Bank to meet the demands of its customers at its branches/ ATMs.
The ICICI Bank and its subsidiary banks abroad are well capitalised.
Alpana Killawala
Chief General Manager
Press Release : 2008-2009/412
There are reports in some sections of the media that based on rumours regarding the
financial strength of ICICI Bank, depositors are withdrawing cash at its ATMs and branches in
some locations.
It is clarified that the ICICI Bank has sufficient liquidity, including in its current account
with the Reserve Bank of India, to meet the requirements of its depositors. The Reserve Bank
of India is monitoring the developments and has arranged to provide adequate cash to ICICI
Bank to meet the demands of its customers at its branches/ ATMs.
The ICICI Bank and its subsidiary banks abroad are well capitalised.
Alpana Killawala
Chief General Manager
Press Release : 2008-2009/412
happy durgastami
It is believed that Goddess Durga on her 10 day journey around the earth removes all evil.......May Goddess Durga destroy all evil around you ,within you and fill your life with happiness and prosperity.
Monday, September 29, 2008
smart father in law and quality engineer
A Quality Engineer married an average girl…
After 2 years of tough life with her, finally Engineer got angry and sent a note to father-in-law stating that
'YOUR PRODUCT DOES NOT MEET MY REQUIREMENTS'.
The smart father-in-law replies,
'WARRANTY EXPIRED.... MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE'.....
After 2 years of tough life with her, finally Engineer got angry and sent a note to father-in-law stating that
'YOUR PRODUCT DOES NOT MEET MY REQUIREMENTS'.
The smart father-in-law replies,
'WARRANTY EXPIRED.... MANUFACTURER NOT RESPONSIBLE'.....
wife from hell
A police officer pulls over a speeding car. The officer says, 'I clocked you at 80 miles per hour, sir.'
The driver says, 'Gee, officer I had it on cruise control at 60, perhaps your radar gun needs calibrating.'
Not looking up from her knitting the wife says: 'Now don't be silly dear, you know that this car doesn't have cruise control.'
As the officer writes out the ticket, the driver looks at his wife and growls, 'Can't you please keep your mouth shut for once?'
The wife smiles demurely and says 'You should be thankful your radar detector went off when it did.'
As the officer makes out the 2nd ticket for the illegal radar detector unit, the man glowers at his wife and says through clenched teeth,
'Damn it, woman, can't you keep your mouth shut?'
The officer frowns and says, 'And I notice that you're not wearing your seat belt, sir. That's an automatic $75 fine.'
The driver says, 'Yeah, well, you see officer, I had it on, but took it off when you pulled me over so that I could get my license out of my back pocket.'
The wife says, 'Now dear, you know very well that you didn't have your seat belt on. You never wear your seat belt while you're driving.'
And as the police officer is writing out the 3rd ticket the driver turns to his wife and barks, 'WHY DON'T YOU PLEASE SHUT UP???'
The officer looks over at the woman and asks, 'Does your husband always talk to you this way, Ma'am?'
'Only when he's been drinking.’
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Appraisal Letter story
here was a contest in TCS comp. To write a fictional story for 500 words max which would start with the line "On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station "
This is what a guy wrote for the contest..... .. and surprisingly, it was judged the best short story! This being the appraisal season, you might want to have a peek in to this... :))
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer.
I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"... As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter...hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!! ! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind...... ... Splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "Wake up man! Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".
This is what a guy wrote for the contest..... .. and surprisingly, it was judged the best short story! This being the appraisal season, you might want to have a peek in to this... :))
On a dark and foggy night, a small figure lay huddled on the railway tracks leading to the Chennai station. At once I was held back to see someone in that position during midnight with no one around. With curiosity taking the front seat, I went near the body and tried to investigate it. There was blood all over the body which was lying face down. It seemed that a ruthless blow by the last train could have caused the end of this body which seemed to be that of a guy of around my age. Amidst the gory blood flow, I could see a folded white envelope which was fluttering in the midnight wind. Carefully I took the blood stained envelope and was surprised to see the phrase "appraisal letter" on it. With curiosity rising every moment, I wasted no time in opening the envelope to see if I can find some details about the dead guy. The tag around the body's neck and the jazzy appraisal cover gave me the hint that he might be a software engineer.
I opened the envelope to find a shining paper on which the appraisal details where typed in flying colors. Thunders broke into my ears and lightening struck my heart when I saw the appraisal amount of the dead guy!!!!! My God, it was not even, as much as the cost of the letter on which the appraisal details were printed.... My heart poured out for the guy and huge calls were heard inside my mind saying "no wonder, this guy died such a miserable death"... As a fellow worker in the same industry, I thought I should mourn for him for the sake of respect and stood there with a heavy heart thinking of the shock that he would have experienced when his manager had placed the appraisal letter in his hand. I am sure his heart would have stopped and eyes would have gone blank for few seconds looking at the near to nothing increment in his salary.
While I mourned for him, for a second my hands froze to see the employee's name in the appraisal letter...hey, what a strange co-incidence, this guy's name is same as mine, including the initials. This was interesting. With some mental strength, I turned the body upside down and found myself fainted for a second. The guy not only had my name, but also looked exactly like me. Same looks, same built, same name.... it was me who was dead there!!!!!!! ! While I was lost in that shock, I felt someone patting on my shoulders. My heart stopped completely, I could not breathe and sprung in fear to see who was behind...... ... Splash!!! Went the glass of water on my laptop screen as I came out of my wild dream to see my manager standing behind my chair patting on my shoulder saying, "Wake up man! Come to meeting room number two. I have your appraisal letter ready".
Friday, September 26, 2008
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Birlasoft weekend recruitment drive
Refer a Friend
HYDERABAD WEEK END RECRUITMENT DRIVE
1 Java Technical leader - with Java, J2EE, Struts, Hibernate, SQL, PL/SQL 6 Years
2 Java Technical Lead - Java Struts EJB Design Pattern A3 6 Years
3 Java Struts Unix PL/SQL 2 Years
4 Java Struts Unix PL/SQL Open Lazlo 2 Years
5 Weblogic Administrator 2 Years
6 UNIX Scripting 2 Years
Please send the resumes to the referral@birlasoft.com – marking a copy to ramarao.kandhi@birlasoft.com with the Following details .
· Name & Employee ID
· Candidate Name
· Skills
· Experience
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Friday, September 19, 2008
Advice on Buying a flat in Nizampet road and bachupally
Advantages
------------
1.Nizampet road is near to hitech city ie 8-10 kms from hitech city.
2.Many big projects are coming like madhucon mega mall on main road,maytas hill county in bachupally,mostly one indu groups project and some ventures like sadguru vertex.
3.Rents will be high ie u can expect around 7k for a 2bhk.
4.Educational centres like vikas,vignan,gokaraju rangaraju institute,pharam college etc are near by.
5.If IT boom continues then Maytas will have 2 development centres inside matyas hill county.
6.A new metro railway station is coming near it.
7.A 100ft road is being laid
8.they are going to give manjira water.
9.Near to all private and govt buses to different places.
10. If rumors come true metro project may get extended put nizampet centre.
11.untill telangana comes the rates will be stable and if it comes rates may fall down still.
12.Rates are reduced very much once it was around 3000rs/sqft now u can get a good one for 2000rs/sqft.
Disadvantages
--------------
1.You can see many apartments coming without any plan ,no ventlaition etc.
2.If all apartments are completed in time then there will be more flats vacant
3.If IT losses its pace this road loses it shine.
4.dusty area as construction is going on.
5.it may become one more amerpet ..no good for family living.
6.The rates may come down if telangana comes.
7.No proper documents for some apartments constructed.
8.Far from secunderabad railway station.
9.Many builders are struck in the nizampet road,they are not able to sell.
10.Many apartments construction is getting delayed..some dont even deliver in the time they say.
11.if it rains heavily ..then water logging will be there.
12.In future ground water level may go down bcoz of many people constructing apartments.
My option:
If you get a good deal like 2000rs/sqft or below and if bank gives emi free offer till the apartement completes you can take it and see that it is near to matyas hill county or main road as inside the side roads apartemnts doesnt have proper space even for big cars to go.You can take the flat and rent it .
------------
1.Nizampet road is near to hitech city ie 8-10 kms from hitech city.
2.Many big projects are coming like madhucon mega mall on main road,maytas hill county in bachupally,mostly one indu groups project and some ventures like sadguru vertex.
3.Rents will be high ie u can expect around 7k for a 2bhk.
4.Educational centres like vikas,vignan,gokaraju rangaraju institute,pharam college etc are near by.
5.If IT boom continues then Maytas will have 2 development centres inside matyas hill county.
6.A new metro railway station is coming near it.
7.A 100ft road is being laid
8.they are going to give manjira water.
9.Near to all private and govt buses to different places.
10. If rumors come true metro project may get extended put nizampet centre.
11.untill telangana comes the rates will be stable and if it comes rates may fall down still.
12.Rates are reduced very much once it was around 3000rs/sqft now u can get a good one for 2000rs/sqft.
Disadvantages
--------------
1.You can see many apartments coming without any plan ,no ventlaition etc.
2.If all apartments are completed in time then there will be more flats vacant
3.If IT losses its pace this road loses it shine.
4.dusty area as construction is going on.
5.it may become one more amerpet ..no good for family living.
6.The rates may come down if telangana comes.
7.No proper documents for some apartments constructed.
8.Far from secunderabad railway station.
9.Many builders are struck in the nizampet road,they are not able to sell.
10.Many apartments construction is getting delayed..some dont even deliver in the time they say.
11.if it rains heavily ..then water logging will be there.
12.In future ground water level may go down bcoz of many people constructing apartments.
My option:
If you get a good deal like 2000rs/sqft or below and if bank gives emi free offer till the apartement completes you can take it and see that it is near to matyas hill county or main road as inside the side roads apartemnts doesnt have proper space even for big cars to go.You can take the flat and rent it .
