Time for sex

Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why ?
Dr: The compounder will not be here...

Bachaa kis ka hai

Scene: Husband and Wife in court getting a divorce.

The problem was who should get custody of the child????

Wife jumped up and said: "Your Honor! I brought the child into this world with pain and labor. She should be in my custody."

The judge turns to Husband and says "What do you have to say in your defense?"

The husband sat for a while contemplating then slowly rose.

"Your Honor. If I put a dollar in a vending machine and a Pepsi comes out. Whose Pepsi is it? the machine's or mine?"

Yeh sunke...Wife replied : "Judge sahab...bartan mera...dudh bhi mera...aur usme dahi jamane ke liye 2 bunde daalne se dahi bana tu fir wo dahi kiska..? mera ya do bund dalane vale ka"

Husband replied : "Typewriter mein kagaz mainedala, keys daba-daba kar mehnat maineki, fir chitthi kiski? typewriter ki ya meri?"

Frustrated Judge: "Agar tu chithi haath se hi likh leta to yahan par custody ki naubat hi na aati."

Woman with not habbits

A
woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a
particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for
a couple of dollars for dinner.The woman took out her wallet, extracted
ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some
wine with it instead of dinner?""No," I had to stop drinking years ago,
the homeless woman replied. "Will you use it to go shopping instead of
buying food?" the woman asked."No," I don't waste time shopping, the
homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay
alive." "Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the
woman asked."Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had
my hair done in 20 years!" "Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to
give you the money. Instead, I'm going t o take you out for dinner with
my husband and myself tonight.The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't
your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and
I probably smell pretty disgusting."The woman replied, "That's okay.
It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has
given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."

Office upgradation

Tit for tat

A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone.

After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her,

"Er... Excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?"

She responds in a loud voice :

" NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"

Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them.

The young man is surprised, shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.

After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes,

and says, "You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and

I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."

The young man responds loudly with,

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIVE THOUSAND RUPEES. THATS TOO MUCH !"

Unlock the deadlock

Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
So make arrangement.

Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.

Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: This week I am
spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
that meeting.

Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we cancelled our trip.

Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.

Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: This week we will have class as usual.

Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company.

Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this
week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement .

Difference between European Couple and Eastern Couple

Amazing one....!!!!!!!!!

Diff between European & Middle Eastern couple...

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

Real diff between European & Middle Eastern couple...

.

.

.

.

Man with no habits

A beggar came along and asked him for some money. Thev man ignored him. But
being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated
when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with
some money.

Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you
tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would
have bought a cup of tea", replied the
beggar.

The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then
took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.

The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."

The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar,
"Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".

The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".

The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race
course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets.
If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".

As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I
can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."

Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with
him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least
something from the man. But he still had his
doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with
you".

The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad
habits looks like."

Smart guy

Magic how is it done

Calories burnt in sex

CALORIES BURNED DURING SEX!





REMOVING HER CLOTHES:



With her consent 12 Calories


Without her consent 2,187 Calories







OPENING HER BRA:



With both hands 8 Calories


With one hand 12 Calories


With your teeth 485 Calories







PUTTING ON A CONDOM:



With an erection 6 Calories


Without an erection 3,315 Calories







POSITIONS:



Missionary 12 Calories


69 lying down 78 Calories



69 standing up 812 Calories


Wheelbarrow 216 Calories


Doggy Style 326 Calories


Italian chandelier 2,912 Calories







ORGASMS:



Real 112 Calories


Fake 1,315 Calories







POST ORGASM:



Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories


Getting up immediately 36 Calories


Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816
Calories








GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:



If you are:




20-29 years 36 Calories


30-39 years 80 Calories


40-49 years 124 Calories


50-59 years 1,972 Calories


60-69 years 7,916 Calories


70 and over Results are still pending







DRESSING AFTERWARDS:



Calmly.. 32 Calories


In a hurry 98 Calories


With her father knocking at the door 5,218 Calories


With your wife knocking at the door 13,521 Calories






Results may vary!

Kurvi stills ..for vijay fans

Lucky people and world dangerous events-5

Lucky people and world dangerous events-4

Lucky people and world dangerous events-3

Lucky people and world dangerous events-2

Lucky people and world dangerous events-1

Perfect Crime

Australian Monster bikes

Japan Prime minister and US president

This is a true story from the Japanese Embassy in US!!!

A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton...

The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how r u'.
Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'

It looks quite simple, but the truth is...

When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said
'Who r u?' (instead of 'How r u?'. )

Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...'

Then Mori replied
'me too, ha-ha.. .'.

Then there was a long silence in the meeting room

IPL Deccan Chargers lead by Poor captaincy

Watching Deccan chargers in IPL is waste.They are losing matches after having good potential players also.Decisions take by VVS Laxman are really poor.After having great experince as a captain in ranji matches Laxman is not able to make any effect in the ground as a captain.

In the match with Rajasthan Royals we lost in the last over of the match.His descision to give bowling to Symonds is the worst decision any body can take in such a pressure situation.Warne who is the captain for Rajasthan Royals made their team to win by hitting every ball to boundary of Symonds.Laxman should have given a thought of not taking wickets but winning the match by making opposite team to waste balls.

In the match with Kings XI punjab also the decisions take are really worst.They took a player called Ojha but he never bowled or batted after having good record better than many.The decision of giving bowling to KalayanKrishna was worst which gave the momentum towards the KingsXI.In this over they hit 2 sixes,2 fours which gave confidence to a new batsmen.Selecting Venugopal was the worst decision as he did not bat and bowl well in this match.Laxman should try and give chances to other new members in team rather than taking venu gopal .
I am feeling if Deccan Chargers continue like this in IPL soon we will be in the bottom of the list.
If Very Very Special Laxman doesnot take proper steps in selecting team composition ,they will lose match.I want laxman not be named as Very Very Stupid Laxman.

Vysyas and Drugs..anesthesia

Naturally occurring mutation Leu307Pro of human butyrylcholinesterase in the Vysya community of India.

ORIGINAL ARTICLES

Pharmacogenetics & Genomics. 16(7):461-468, July 2006.
Manoharan, Indumathi a; Wieseler, Stacy b; Layer, Paul G. c; Lockridge, Oksana b; Boopathy, Rathnam a

Abstract:
Background: People with genetic variants of butyrylcholinesterase (EC 3.1.1.8, BChE) can have hours of prolonged apnea after a normal dose of succinylcholine or mivacurium.

Methods: Plasma samples from 226 people in the Vysya community in Coimbatore, India were tested for BChE activity.

Results: Nine unrelated individuals had no detectable activity. DNA sequencing revealed a novel mutation in exon 2 of the BCHE gene, responsible for the silent phenotype of human serum BChE. All silent BChE samples were homozygous for a point mutation at codon 307 (CTT->CCT), resulting in substitution of leucine 307 by proline. Western blot analysis with a monoclonal antibody showed no BChE protein in plasma. Silent BChE plasma samples had no organophosphate-reactive BChE, as measured with FP-biotin. Expression of recombinant Leu307Pro BChE in cell culture confirmed that this mutant is expressed at very low levels. The proline substitution most likely destabilizes the BChE structure and causes the protein to be misfolded and rapidly degraded.

Conclusions: This is the first report of a molecularly defined BChE mutation in the Indian population. The frequency of homozygous silent BChE in the Vysya community is 1 in 24, a value 4000-fold higher than the frequency of homozygous silent BChE in European and American populations.

(C) 2006 Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, Inc.

courtesy of

http://www.jpharmacogenetics.com/

Night rate

Chemistry ki class main Teacher nay aik ladki say poocha,
'' What is Niterate?''
Ladki sharma kar
''Sir Night Rate 1500 aur Hotel charges alag say........

Marriage

An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one
evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request
to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling,
Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years
and clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in
the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's
wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those
loving pet names' The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the
truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm
scared to death to ask her what it is!' :-)

Mindblowing Stills of DASAVATHARAM

Why did sreesanth cry really?

Do u know why he cried actually??????? J








.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.

Dats d reason………….

DIL ke armaan aansuon me beh gaye~~~~~~~

Learn golf

Courtesy of santabanta

Why i failed my exams?

Cheerleaders in IPL

Images of Cheerleaders from different matches and portals

Kya aap paachvi paas se tez hai

"Kya aap paachvi paas se tez hai "...


IF


1 = 5

2 = 25

3 = 125

4 = 625


5 = ?


Please think twice before scrolling




Answer = 1


REMEMBER THE FIRST LINE.

1 = 5


MORAL OF THE PROBLEM:
DON'T COMPLICATE SIMPLE PROBLEMS IN LIFE