A
woman was walking down the street when she was accosted by a
particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked her for
a couple of dollars for dinner.The woman took out her wallet, extracted
ten dollars and asked, "If I give you this money, will you buy some
wine with it instead of dinner?""No," I had to stop drinking years ago,
the homeless woman replied. "Will you use it to go shopping instead of
buying food?" the woman asked."No," I don't waste time shopping, the
homeless woman said. "I need to spend all my time trying to stay
alive." "Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?" the
woman asked."Are you NUTS!" replied the homeless woman. "I haven't had
my hair done in 20 years!" "Well," said the woman, "I'm not going to
give you the money. Instead, I'm going t o take you out for dinner with
my husband and myself tonight.The homeless Woman was astounded. "Won't
your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and
I probably smell pretty disgusting."The woman replied, "That's okay.
It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has
given up shopping, hair appointments and wine."
Saturday, May 10, 2008
Woman with not habbits
Friday, May 9, 2008
Tit for tat
A very shy young man goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting alone.
After an hour he gathers enough courage to go and ask her,
"Er... Excuse me, but would you mind if I sat here beside you?"
She responds in a loud voice :
" NO, I DON'T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!"
Everyone in the bar turns to stare at them.
The young man is surprised, shocked and embarrassed and goes back to his table.
After a few minutes the woman walks over to him smiles, apologizes,
and says, "You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and
I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations."
The young man responds loudly with,
"WHAT DO YOU MEAN FIVE THOUSAND RUPEES. THATS TOO MUCH !"
Unlock the deadlock
Boss said to secretary: For a week we will go abroad,
So make arrangement.
Secretary make call to Husband: For a week my boss and
I will be going abroad, you look after yourself.
Husband make call to secret lover: My wife is going
abroad for a week, so lets spend the week together.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: I have work for a week, so you need
not come for class.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, for a
week I don't have class 'coz my teacher is busy. Lets
spend the week together.
Grandpa make call to his secretary: This week I am
spending my time with my grandson. We cannot attend
that meeting.
Secretary make call to her husband: This week my boss
has some work, we cancelled our trip.
Husband make call to secret lover: We cannot spend
this week together, my wife has cancelled her trip.
Secret lover make call to small boy whom she is giving
private tution: This week we will have class as usual.
Small boy make call to his grandfather: Grandpa, my
teacher said this week I have to attend class. Sorry I
can't give you company.
Grandpa make call to his secretary: Don't worry this
week we will attend that meeting, so make arrangement .
Difference between European Couple and Eastern Couple
Amazing one....!!!!!!!!!
Diff between European & Middle Eastern couple...
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Real diff between European & Middle Eastern couple...
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Thursday, May 8, 2008
Man with no habits
being a professional, the beggar kept on pestering him. The man became irritated
when he realized that the beggar would not leave him alone unless he parts with
some money.
Suddenly an idea struck him.He told the beggar, "I do not have money, but if you
tell me what you want to do with the money, I will certainly help you." "I would
have bought a cup of tea", replied the
beggar.
The man said, "Sorry man. I can offer you a cigarette instead of tea". He then
took a pack of cigarettes from his pocket and offered one to the beggar.
The beggar told, "I don't smoke as it is injurious to health."
The man smiled and took a bottle of whisky from his pocket and told the beggar,
"Here, take this bottle and enjoy the stuff. It is really good".
The beggar refused by saying, "Alcohol muddles the brain and damages the liver".
The man smiled again. He told the beggar, "I am going to the race
course.Come with me and I will arrange for some tickets and we will place bets.
If we win, you take the whole amount and leave me alone".
As before, the beggar politely refused the latest offer by saying, "Sorry sir, I
can't come with you as betting on horses is a bad habit."
Suddenly the man felt relieved and asked the beggar to come to his home with
him. Finally, the beggar's face lit up in anticipation of receiving at least
something from the man. But he still had his
doubts and asked the man, "Why do you want me to go to your house with
you".
The man replied, "My wife always wanted to see how a man with no bad
habits looks like."
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Calories burnt in sex
REMOVING HER CLOTHES:
With her consent 12 Calories
Without her consent 2,187 Calories
OPENING HER BRA:
With both hands 8 Calories
With one hand 12 Calories
With your teeth 485 Calories
PUTTING ON A CONDOM:
With an erection 6 Calories
Without an erection 3,315 Calories
POSITIONS:
Missionary 12 Calories
69 lying down 78 Calories
69 standing up 812 Calories
Wheelbarrow 216 Calories
Doggy Style 326 Calories
Italian chandelier 2,912 Calories
ORGASMS:
Real 112 Calories
Fake 1,315 Calories
POST ORGASM:
Lying in bed hugging 18 Calories
Getting up immediately 36 Calories
Explaining why you got out of bed immediately 816
Calories
GETTING A SECOND ERECTION:
If you are:
20-29 years 36 Calories
30-39 years 80 Calories
40-49 years 124 Calories
50-59 years 1,972 Calories
60-69 years 7,916 Calories
70 and over Results are still pending
DRESSING AFTERWARDS:
Calmly.. 32 Calories
In a hurry 98 Calories
With her father knocking at the door 5,218 Calories
With your wife knocking at the door 13,521 Calories
Results may vary!
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Japan Prime minister and US president
A few years ago, Prime Minister Mori was given some basic English conversation training before he visits Washington and meets president Bill Clinton...
The instructor told Mori Prime Minister, when you shake hand with President Clinton, please say 'how r u'.
Then Mr. Clinton should say, 'I am fine, and you?' Now, you should say 'me too'. Afterwards we, translators, will do the work for you.'
It looks quite simple, but the truth is...
When Mori met Clinton , he mistakenly said
'Who r u?' (instead of 'How r u?'. )
Mr. Clinton was a bit shocked but still managed to react with humor:
'Well, I'm Hillary's husband, ha-ha...'
Then Mori replied
'me too, ha-ha.. .'.
Then there was a long silence in the meeting room
Thursday, May 1, 2008
IPL Deccan Chargers lead by Poor captaincy
In the match with Rajasthan Royals we lost in the last over of the match.His descision to give bowling to Symonds is the worst decision any body can take in such a pressure situation.Warne who is the captain for Rajasthan Royals made their team to win by hitting every ball to boundary of Symonds.Laxman should have given a thought of not taking wickets but winning the match by making opposite team to waste balls.
In the match with Kings XI punjab also the decisions take are really worst.They took a player called Ojha but he never bowled or batted after having good record better than many.The decision of giving bowling to KalayanKrishna was worst which gave the momentum towards the KingsXI.In this over they hit 2 sixes,2 fours which gave confidence to a new batsmen.Selecting Venugopal was the worst decision as he did not bat and bowl well in this match.Laxman should try and give chances to other new members in team rather than taking venu gopal .
I am feeling if Deccan Chargers continue like this in IPL soon we will be in the bottom of the list.
If Very Very Special Laxman doesnot take proper steps in selecting team composition ,they will lose match.I want laxman not be named as Very Very Stupid Laxman.
Vysyas and Drugs..anesthesia
ORIGINAL ARTICLES
Pharmacogenetics & Genomics. 16(7):461-468, July 2006.Manoharan, Indumathi a; Wieseler, Stacy b; Layer, Paul G. c; Lockridge, Oksana b; Boopathy, Rathnam a
Abstract:
Background: People with genetic variants of butyrylcholinesterase (EC 3.1.1.8, BChE) can have hours of prolonged apnea after a normal dose of succinylcholine or mivacurium.
Methods: Plasma samples from 226 people in the Vysya community in Coimbatore, India were tested for BChE activity.
Results: Nine unrelated individuals had no detectable activity. DNA sequencing revealed a novel mutation in exon 2 of the BCHE gene, responsible for the silent phenotype of human serum BChE. All silent BChE samples were homozygous for a point mutation at codon 307 (CTT->CCT), resulting in substitution of leucine 307 by proline. Western blot analysis with a monoclonal antibody showed no BChE protein in plasma. Silent BChE plasma samples had no organophosphate-reactive BChE, as measured with FP-biotin. Expression of recombinant Leu307Pro BChE in cell culture confirmed that this mutant is expressed at very low levels. The proline substitution most likely destabilizes the BChE structure and causes the protein to be misfolded and rapidly degraded.
Conclusions: This is the first report of a molecularly defined BChE mutation in the Indian population. The frequency of homozygous silent BChE in the Vysya community is 1 in 24, a value 4000-fold higher than the frequency of homozygous silent BChE in European and American populations.
(C) 2006 Lippincott Williams & Wilkins, Inc.
courtesy of
http://www.jpharmacogenetics.com/
Night rate
'' What is Niterate?''
Ladki sharma kar
''Sir Night Rate 1500 aur Hotel charges alag say........
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Marriage
An elderly gent was invited to an old friend's home for dinner one
evening. He was impressed by the way his buddy preceded every request
to his wife with endearing terms such as: Honey, My Love, Darling,
Sweetheart, Pumpkin, etc. The couple had been married almost 70 years
and clearly, they were still very much in love. While the wife was in
the kitchen, the man leaned over and said to his host, 'I think it's
wonderful that, after all these years, you still call your wife those
loving pet names' The old man hung his head. 'I have to tell you the
truth,' he said, 'Her name slipped my mind about 10 years ago and I'm
scared to death to ask her what it is!' :-)
Why did sreesanth cry really?
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Dats d reason………….
DIL ke armaan aansuon me beh gaye~~~~~~~
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Saturday, April 26, 2008
Kya aap paachvi paas se tez hai
IF
1 = 5
2 = 25
3 = 125
4 = 625
5 = ?
Please think twice before scrolling
Answer = 1
REMEMBER THE FIRST LINE.
1 = 5
MORAL OF THE PROBLEM:
DON'T COMPLICATE SIMPLE PROBLEMS IN LIFE
Nuns and Blind Man
Later they heard a knock on the door....
"Who is it???",
The man who knocked replied, "I'm the blind man".
So, the nuns decided to let him in since he would not be able to see them.
The man then looked around the room, then looked at them and said, "Nice bodies sisters, where do you want the blinds to be put??"
Thursday, April 24, 2008
Neo economics -- US spends World Saves
Has an annual trade surplus of over $100 billion, yet Japanese economy is considered weak, even collapsing.
Americans spend, but save little.
Also US imports more, than it exports.
Has an annual trade deficit of over $400 billion.
Yet, the American economy is considered strong and trusted to get stronger.
But from where do Americans get money to spend?
They borrow from Japan, China, and even India.
Virtually others save for the US to spend.
Global savings are mostly invested in US, in dollars.
India itself keeps its foreign currency assets of over $50 billions in US securities.
China has over $160 billion in US securities.
Japan's stakes in US securities is in trillions.
Result:
The US has taken over $5 trillion from the world.
So, as the world saves for the US, Americans spend freely.
Today, to keep the US consumption going, that is for the US economy to work, the countries have to remit $180 billion every quarter that is $2 billion a day to the US!
Otherwise the US economy would go for a sick.
So will the global economy.
The result will be no different if US consumers begin consuming less.
A Chinese economist asked a neat question.
Who has invested more, US in China, or China in US?
The US has invested in China less than half of what China has invested in US.
The same is the case with India. We have invested in US over $50 billion.
But the US has invested less than $20 billion in India.
Why the world is after US?
The secret lies in the American spending, that they hardly save.
In fact they use their credit cards to spend their future income.
That the US spends is what makes it attractive to export to the US.
So US imports more than what it exports year after year.
The result:
The world is dependent on US consumption for its growth.
By its deepening culture of consumption, the US has habituated the world to feed on US consumption.
But as the US needs money to finance its consumption, the world provides the money.
It's like a shopkeeper providing the money to a customer so that the customer keeps buying from his shop. If the customer does not buy; the shop won't have business, unless the shopkeeper funds him.
The US is like the lucky customer.
And the world is like the helpless shopkeeper financier.
Who is America's biggest shopkeeper financer?
Japan of course.
Yet it's Japan which is regarded as weak.
Modern economists complain that Japanese do not spend, so they do not Grow.
To force the Japanese to spend, the Japanese government exerted itself.
Reduced the savings rates, even charged the savers Even then the Japanese did not spend (habits don't change, even with taxes, do they?).
Their traditional postal savings alone is over $1.2 trillions, about three times the Indian GDP.
Thus, savings, far from being the strength of Japan, has become its pain.
Hence, what is the lesson?
A nation cannot grow unless the people spend, not save. Not just spend, but borrow and spend.
Dr. Jagdish Bhagwati, the famous Indian-born economist in the US, told that don't wastefully save.
Start spending, on imported cars and, seriously, even on cosmetics! This will put all nations on a growth curve.
"Saving is sin, and spending is virtue."
Before you follow this neo economics, get someone to save so that you can borrow from them and spend.
This is what US has successfully done in last few decades.