


All the messages below are just forwarded messages if some one feels hurt about it please add your comments we will remove the post.Host/author is not responsible for these posts
A team of Managers were given an assignment to measure the height of a
flagpole. So the Managers go out to the flagpole with ladders and tape.
They're falling off the ladders, dropping the tape measures - the whole
thing is just a mess.
An Engineer comes along and sees what they're trying to do, walks over,
pulls the flagpole out of the ground, lays it flat, measures it from end
to end, gives the measurement to one of the managers and walks away.
After the Engineer has gone, one manager turns to another and laughs."
See this idiot. We're looking for height and he gives the length!"
Moral: "No matter what good you do, Managers can always find fault in
you".
Bob can't get an erection so he goes to the doctor. The doctor tells him the muscles at the base of his Penis are broken down and there's nothing he can do unless he's willing to try an experimental surgery.
Bob asks what the surgery is and the doctor tells him they take the muscles from the base of a baby elephant's trunk, insert them in the base of his penis, and hope for the best.
Bob says that sounds pretty scary but the thought of never having sex again is even scarier, so he says ok.
The doctor goes ahead and performs the surgery and about 6 weeks later he gives Bob the go ahead to "try out his new equipment".
Bob takes his wife out to dinner. While at dinner Bob starts Feeling incredible pressure in his pants. It gets unbearable and he figures no one can see him so he undoes his pants.
No sooner does he do this than his penis pops out of his pants, Rolls across the table, grabs an apple from the fruit basket, And disappears back into his pants. His wife sits in shock for a Few moments, and then gets a sly look on her face.
She says, "That was pretty cool! Can you do that again?" With his eyes watering and a painful look on his face, Bob says, "Probably, but I don't know if I can fit another apple up my ass."
Dear Associates ,
We wish to bring you an update on the operations of the New Hyderabad International Airport at Shamshabad
Access : An hour & 30 minutes travel time required from select points in the twin cities of Hyderabad & Secunderabad
as roads are congested during regular intervals between 0900- 2000 Hrs
Airport Shuttle-AEROEXPRESS: We would recommend that our Associates do use this Shuttle services from select city
points ,which is safe , reliable , convenient & cost effective . would also
recommend that Pooling of resources ( transportation ) be considered where ever possible , to make the airport transfers
enjoyable & further Cost effective
Radio Cabs : Associates can avail the services of GMR operated Radio Cabs ,which are safe & reliable mode of
Transportation For airport Transfers .
Easy Cabs : +91 40 43434343 |
Meeru : +91 40 44224422 |
Airport Parking : The Free parking facilities for Private vehicles presently Offered by GMR is being withdrawn with immediate
effect
Airport Utility shops : Still not fully functional and as such would caution Associates of inconvenience during delayed departures
and or Cancellation of flights
Public Announcements: It has been observed that unlike other Indian Airports , announcements regarding flight delays ,
Cancellations Etc..are restricted and even the visual information displays are either incorrect or do not happen .We would therefore
suggest that Our associates check information on departures & arrivals with the respective airline counters / ground staff once you
check in.
Arrivals : During the last one week there have been several instances of Domestic Arrivals / passengers coming through International
arrival lounge / area and even international arrival passengers coming out through International departure area on the upper Level due
to repairs & maintenance being carried out after the un-seasonal rains ..…Associates are requested to take guidance from The Airline
personnel who will be always available on Arrival side .Airlines have also reported delays in having the Aero bridges connectivity
Upon landing at Shamshabad Airport , causing delayed disembarkation.
Immigration : Associates arriving on international flights may experience long Qs at immigration since there are limited
Staff manning the counters at times.
We expect that the initial teething problems will be resolved at the earliest since there has been regular & extensive media coverage as
well on the Issues , which has made the concerned authorities to initiate corrective action .
PRICELESS WORDS
A husband wakes up at home with a huge hangover.
He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees
is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table.
He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and
pressed. He looks around the room and sees that
it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house.
He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table.
"Honey, breakfast is on the table, I left early to go grocery shopping.
Love You!"
Totally shocked with the note , he goes to the kitchen and
sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper.
His son is also at the table, eating. He asks, "Son, what happened last night?"
His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM , drunk and delirious.
Broke some crockery, puked in the hall, and gave yourself a black eye
when you stumbled into the door". Confused, the man asks,
"So, why is everything in order and so clean, and
breakfast is on the table waiting for me?
I should expect a big quarrel with her!"
His son replies, "Oh, that! Mom dragged you to the bedroom,
and when she tried to take your clothes n shoes off,
you said,
"LADY LEAVE ME ALONE! I'M MARRIED!"